Not much into jam but I do like a decent marmalade and Aldi's finest fits the bill.

Had a space and kidney pie for tea last night.

It was like a steak and kidney pie, only meteor.

That one, while awful, gave me a good chuckle, Ron!

Rgds.
Dave

My mate went to the Climbing Centre the other day & found that in a cost cutting exercise, the Council had removed most of the grips on the wall.

He said, “Typical, you just couldn't make it up.”

The holidays are here cried Dick and Dora, so we can relax and not worry too much about our grammar, syntax, puns, spoonerisms, alliteration, speling, misused homonyms/homophones, misspellings, improperly placed commas, run-on sentences, fragments, dangling modifiers, and so on.
Let it all hang out and concentrate on the humour.

Not forgetting the "aberrant apostrophe"

Should that not be a single inverted commas ? 😁

Always was a great fan of Keith Waterhouse. Recommend all to read (except YM who was educated down under) Waterhouse on Newspaper Style.

Hmmmmmmm!!!! Don't get me started! I seem to remember being taught to use "Inverted Commas" to enclose speech; these days - may be a transatlantic thing, they seem to be called "Quote marks"! Have you just invented "a single inverted comma"? My journalist friend once wrote a column on the "aberrant apostrophe" in the regional newspaper.

We sparkies could manage it, no bother.

Choose carefully

A matter of interpretation.

Took a while but then it clicked, the car salesman is polishing up his Rwandeese. Clever little chap.

They were a pet hate of Keith Waterhouse too when he had a column in a national daily newspaper.

The next sign out of sight around the bend probably says "No Road."

YM doesn't need educating having spent 50 years in the University of Hard Knocks. :jester:

Haven't come across Waterhouse but I am sure that half the population down here in Oz could benefit. I was brought up on the Australian Government Style Manual for Authors and Printers which covered pretty much everything in relation to the written/printed word. The abbreviated version of which was known colloquially as Tits for Typists.:)

It's an indictment on our education system that so many don't know the difference between the possessive and the plural with apostrophes and when it is pointed out to them they either don't care or they take offence and ignore it anyway. I have a friend who has an MA from Melbourne Uni and who is currently doing a PhD; he falls in this group.:really_mad:

Apostrophes are demon commas from hell who have risen above their place for no other reason than to spread confusion and discontent.

I shoot them on sight's ....:supercool::angry:

Are sidearms allowed on building sight's these days?

Suffice to say that I prefer the views of Lynne Truss to those of Liz of that ilk.

Sticking roughly to the theme…

More pendant than pedant, then.

Reminds of that old joke of someone who got fired from the Good Samaritans suicide line. He took 43 calls and ALL of them committed suicide!!

This was made worse by the fact that four of the calls were wrong numbers !!! :eek:

From the Bridge

Had I been Janeway, it would have been a march down the working alleyway, number three airlock .... spaced !!! :sweat::sweat::sweat::D

The Devon and Cornwall music festival had to be cancelled.
After much argument they could not agree whether The Jam or Cream should go on first.