Muffs eh Tmac...Know a bit abiut those as well

Oh Goodie, another day with Nemo Atsi. :kiss:

Apparently you can get a cream for that, available at all good pharmacies and some crap ones as well :supercool:

I do feel a yearning to be rocked on the bosom of the deep. Failing that, a bottle of cheap whisky and two heavy duty balloons will do me. We will sail soon, Red-17, make your farewells, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Here we go then -- 03:00 and all crew aboard. Engines are always on standby according to his Royal Emminence the Chieftain of the Up-and Down, In-and -Out, Round and Round department. Mr. McCloggie, let go the stern tie, then as we swing to the tide, let go the for'd buoy. Tmac, all ahead dead slow. Now, as we approach that MFV in the middle of the channel Farmer John give him a long loud PHRRRMMMMMMMMM on the whistle. That should get his attention. Then a shot of full ahead to engage him in some Rock 'n Roll. He! He! He! When we aqre out in the Channel, it's the purple button as we head for the "Big Apple".


Departure party -- Full English in the Pax lounge with Tequila Sunrise beverage. :pint:

I just had a look at your Map thingy Tom. we are headed towards a Submarine exercise area.
Possibilities for a wee bit of fun there methinks.

And keep well to seaward heading for Start Point, we don't want to fall foul of the Skerries Bank.

Once we clear Start, "Hammer Down."

(That is, put that hammer down Squeek and open up the throttle control!)

All clear Aft. Slipped from the mooring buoy Fwd.

All crew back on board plus some extras to help out in the Sauna etc.

My team has however reported that we also seem to have an extra Vice Admiral on-board somewhere but he does not show up on the PAX list.

Is he with us officially to assist getting through the submarine exercise area or (to put it nicely) is he a "private guest" of somebody?

McC

If the mysterious supernumary outstays his welcome, we can always drop him off as we pass Devonport. That is, unless he has been seconded to undertaking vitally important "domestic duties."

Me daydreaming:> Vice admirals a rather portly type, Large of tummy! RED17's rather slim and petite lady ???suppose there must be a way

Eh?...Eight Bells already? good lord!..." UP SPIRITS LADS"

Oh! Yes!! Our speciality --- with our refined hull form, non cavitational props, sound dampening devices, sonar cloaking device, etc., non of them will ever know that we are there until ----- we pour malt vinegar and half a pound of salt down the Brit sub's snorkel -- for the fish and chips. Oil the hinges on the Polish subs screen door so they won't know whether it's open or shut. Tie a red ribbon around the Russian's conning tower. Send two cartons of Fortune cookies down the Chinese sub's escape hatch. And, last, but not least, paste a picture of President Trump over the U.S. periscope so they won't know where the heck they're going. :supercool::supercool:

we could drop a grenade or three at speed and the heave too and see what nationality's pop up to the surface heh heh

Or just fire up our 8000 watt under water digital surroud sound THX speaker system with just one loud BANG - to let them know we are there, even though they don't know we are there. :king:

wow I could fel the shockwave of that Tom.

??load of bubbles off our starboard quarter someone's surfacing...Oh and another abeam of us.
be interesting to see who's been sat silently on the bottom spying eh.

Looks like they will be having a confrontation. Maybe best we make ourselves scarce eh!

Interesting!..first up the Russian. then the Jap came up followed by the Dutch. last up the Andrew (to see what the commotions is all about heh heh

All been sitting on the bottom trying to listen for each other no doubt.

To the Big Apple Tom, Full ahead both.

TANNOY: Successful going ashore party being held in the Pax lounge. Ship's band muster there for free drinks and jam session. (Ah! the city lights of New York, and there should be enough sweet city women to arouse our interest. Of course we must not forget our own Sweet City Woman, Red ---a jereboam of Dom Perignon, well chilled awaits you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CPt3eSBJiQ

Better bring along a couple of plastic stewards to sing the "castrato" parts.:o:o

Mr. McCloggie: It looks as if we will have some steady 30 knot following winds for the next couple of days, so please put us into the sailing configuration with topsails, lower and upper t'gallants on the forward and main masts. Spanker and flying and outer jibs should provide a nice balance.

The shanty "The North Atlantic Squadron" should help the cutouts haul on the halyards, braces and sheets.

"Away, away, with fife and drum, her we come full of rum" etc., etc. :pint:

You get yourself balanced on your phone and we'll feed you a line over the stern, you can water ski.

Hope your reinstallation goes well.

let me explain, we are about to have the old part of the house demolished, elevated and rebuilt. entire contents of house squeezed into the new bit. rough 3months ahead. will check the thread once in a while when i can. Tom,s the boss, follow his instructions and all will be well.

I thought Sir William was going to be clapped in irons down the forepeak when he mentioned his "cell phone." Then I remembered our Transatlantic cousins don't call their mobile phones "mobiles!" I was worried that Sir William had transgressed the code of Omerta when questioned by shore authorities about our destination and cargo manifest.

Hope all goes well Sir, and the builders are better than the famous O'Reilly gang who worked on Fawlty Towers!

The very best wishes and good luck with it, Tom is a man we can trust, though he and I don't seem to get as many quiet drinks on the bridge as we used to. Tom, Dartskipper, a conference over some bottles?

Went through a major modification a year or so ago to do with my brain injured son's house -- so completely understand. At least, from the sound of it you shouldn't have quite the same level of flooding you had in the last couple of years, or so.

Onwards and upwards !! :angel:

Sorry, Farmer John --- I must admist I have been delinquent in my social duties to the navigation segment of our crew. By all means let us congregate in the chartroom for some Four Bells. (I don't think we have shown Dartskipper where we keep our secret stock? --- Under the International code flag "R" for rum in the flag locker.)
:pint:

Not to mention A for alchohol, B for booze, C for comforter...

NOT a job for an injuneer then, I'll send my mate Bob the Builder if you run into any problems. :supercool:

I think the denizens of the chart room should convene for some in depth discussions. As our voyage planning will be dependent on the performance and economy of our machinery, I think we should have our esteemed Chief involved too. So if we can run up a collection of flags to cover the breaking out of various brands of intoxicating bevvies, shall we all convene at Four Bells? I have instructed the head plastico to bring fresh glasses and a big bucket of ice.

GD now in full sailing configuration as requested.

Sorry for the delay - have spent the last day travelling back to KL.

McC

KL ?? For a moment I thought you were referring to Kharzi Land; -- had a spot of tummy trouble today and spent quite a bit of time in the Kharzi. OK now so in primie shape to visit the chartroom. You report there too Mr. McCloggie -- just let us know what your favourite bevvy is so we can place it in the appropriate letter disignation in the flag locker. I feel a definite thirst coming on!! :pint: Red you'd better come along too -- you too Varley, plus anyother people aboard remotely interested in the workings of this fine vessel -- or alternatively interested in what is possibly the only refrigerated flag locker afloat today. :)

Fresh glasses ?? Now there's a novel concept !! :king:

Is the Jeroboam of Dom nicely iced Tom? I will give you the rundown about the Vice Admiral over a glass or two. It is good to be back on the GD and heading for New York. Not sure why we are going there but I am sure all will be revealed when the time is right to do so.

Now, where are my red dancing shoes, think I might need them tonight. :angel:

The champagne is always adequately chilled, in the same way we are always suave and well-dressed (injuneers excepted).

This IS the Golden Dreamer.

HOI!!! I resemble that remark :supercool:

Don't worry Chief, if you stop by the main companionway where the cutouts are sprucing up the paint on the lifeboat, you can get them to give your overalls a quick lick of white gloss. This will hide the oil and grease stains, and make them stiff enough to put a crease in the trousers. It will save time removing them and soaking them in a bucket of starch. They are using some newly formulated quick drying acrylic water based stuff with an aroma of Old Spice aftershave. Next week they will be testing some paint with that great smell of Brut, (as Joe Namath* used to say in the adverts.)

*Joe Namath was the star Quarterback of the New York Jets in the 1970's. He also advertised his own brand popcorn maker. Quite the celebrity was Joe in his day.

I must point out that the white gloss to which Dartskipper refers, is actually paint, and not the creation of our late Commodore Dom, who formulated a special drink called White Gloss, which was usually consumed along with Red Boot Topping at spcial functions. There are still some supplies left in the Bos'un's store under VERY secure lock and key.

We have some very expensive paintings rolled up and disguised as burlap to deliver to New York. Apparently destined for some "private" museum?? :supercool::supercool:

Surely we wouldn't assist in the purloining of art? Oh, I see, that is a lot of money and, to be honest, the original of "Fry's Five Boys" is no great loss. And I have like those "Bulldogs smoking" very much. "The Recumbent Madonna with "Help me" Written on the Soles of her Shoes" is probably a fake

Shh! Say no more, it is a secret.

That isn't the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies under another flag is it? I thought that masterpiece by van Klompp was traditionally smuggled, ahem, transported around the World disguised as a very large Knockwurst, wrapped in burlap.

Apologies for that Cap'n. I hadn't gone back far enough in the ship's Log to discover that little subterfuge. Would those concoctions have any remote similarity to a bottle I found marked "Red Lead. (To be served at room temperature)?"

Red Lead before my time --- although it sounds more like some concoction that Sister Eleff might have used on some condition a crew member picked up ashore -- something like Moby Dick. :sweat: