Sorry to be so tardy with my contributions for the past few days (AWOL taking family glamping for Easter weekend) but, I believe it was Red-17 who threatened to contact the Public Health Authorities. That raises the observation that such an action would be anatomically impossible (and a waste of shoe polish!) :yawn:

Sound man Tmac, the light bulbs have burst into life, just like Spring arriving. Hip, Hip etc for the Big Man.

My teeth cannot take anymore of Red 17's stringy barbequd kangaroo. Like Tmac I'm going to bring a Piece-Box with me when I sign on. BTW Red your icey cold Swan helps, it either tenderises the Joey, strengthens the teeth or numbs the senses, keep it coming.

Absolutely priceless, best laugh I have had for weeks!

Red 17.... awwwwww the naivety of youth.... "sensible answer" :jester: from this motley crew? :egg: Laugh?... the tears ran down my legs :chuckle: We don't do sensible, life is too short for that :yawn:

Engine Serang, Champ, Irish Stew, Colcannon and of course the ubiquitous Ulster Fry, you are welcome in the injuneers dining saloon at any time just bring the sausages, potato bread and yourself.:eat_arrow:

Ah, good move.
Converting it into a ragtop and fitting new upholstery
Great idea.
But why did somebody paint the seats gold?:confused:

That all sounds very tasty Tmac, if you would let me join you I could bring along a supply of venison sausages, I promise, no more kangaroo. Normally kangaroo is very tasty but I fear that because I could only get it frozen and not fresh it did not cook up well at all. Apologies to everyone. :very_sad:

Pardon??? You may have to explain that to me Capt. Tom. :confused:

Oh! My! How insensitive of me!!! There is no other way of putting it -- but in order to be black balled, one has to have balls -- in the strict physical sense. (I sense from all your previous posts that you are strictly of the feminine gender, and therefore devoid of the necessary appendages, [enclosed by a scrotum] and therefore having nothing as delinieated to be blackened. ) In my experience, if someone (necessarily male) presented themselves as a continuing nuisance, they stood the chance of being forcibly restrained and having their genitals daubed with a mixture of black shoepolish and strawberry jam.(Preferably just prior to them being called on to stand their watch.) Perhaps that is why in our present day, we have to put up with a bunch of bleeding hearts, rather than putting a quick end to their continuing bleating??

O.K., O.K., So I am not a a P.C. type !! :yawn:

My dear Tom, you have broken your Articles on the GD2. Big mistake on your part.
The Ships Articles Section 2, Sub Section A, para 12, Clause 99 states that an Officer must never give an explanation to anyone not on a Company Contract. (Red 14 is a Trainee).

We now have to deal with a crock of sh1t, so Tmac and me have been drafted in to use his gift of the gab to calm down Red 14+3 and stop her upseting the apple tart. Tmac has been practising his little homily on the bottom plates in his deepest falsetto voice, and I paraphrase:-

" My dear Vermillion 17, pay no attention to poor old Tom, he has been snorting Alka-Seltzer from his toilet seat and has stopped speaking in joined up writing. Pay little attention to his antacid ramblings about boot polish, and listen to me instead. Blackballing is a verb, meaning to reject (a candidate applying to become a member of a private club), typically by means of a secret ballot.
synonyms: reject, debar, bar, ban, vote against, blacklist, exclude, shut out, leave out in the cold; expel, drum out, oust, cashier, ostracize, repudiate; boycott, snub, shun, spurn, cold-shoulder, give the cold shoulder to. So rest easy, we all respect you. Respect."
By the way, we down the engine room invite you to a tasting of our favourite tipple, a silky little glass of "Kiwi". It is distilled from an exotic blend of black boot polish and hot milk,and demand has forced us to offer a "Skimmed Milk" option for the Weightwatching Ladies on board. Two and a half glasses and you will forget all about Capt Tom.".

If this saves your scrawny neck Tom, you owe us big.

The term blackballing comes from London gentlemen’s clubs where during the election of potential new members the committe voted by placing a white ball or a black ball into a rack or similar receptacle.

White meant the potential member was acceptable and a black ball meant unacceptable. One black ball meant the potential was not allowed to join.

This original meaning has been subject to several revisions as shown above!

McC

Tannoy: attention all crew, Libations on me in the PAX lounge. Cornish Pasties I found frozen have been thawed and reheated. Come have a break.

I'm there all ready. Where the hell are we? I just make sure we don't fall of the Chart, but I have got a little turned around.

Just recently glanced at our map thingy. we are about 20 miles south east of the rum glass rings.

been working on our new menu. would this meet with ones approval?

Methinks that you are a veritable "Sea Lawyer". By definition of several dictionaries, that is "a contentious sailor, who habitually argues, questions orders and regulations, etc." Should Red-17 be upset in any way by my explanation, I will gladly listen to her complaint, and make any due reparations as she might request. I should point out that she has been a full fledged member of the GD II since before you joined, and it is therefore her perogative to question my motives.

In the meantime, I'm going to take up Sir William's offer in the PAX lounge. :pint:

You're absolutely correct, Sir William -- still moored in Nassau harbour -- BUT -- I did run into a fellow in a white suit with a Panama hat and dark glasses, who wondered if, for a price of course, we could run some suitcases packed with U.S. $20 bills down to some unspecified private island in the Caribbean. With a substantial down payment he will advise us of the destination in due course. He also has contracted to have our fuel tanks topped up at his expense. I did give tentative approval when he sent 5 cases of Four Bells to replenish the wheelhouse stock. :quill:

"Substantial Down Payment.."

This chap didn't have a brother who was a very good friend of the cousin of the President of Nigeria, and was the Foreign Exchange Director of a bank trying to move gazillions of $U.S. into a foreign country and avoiding tax in the process? By all means accept graciously the 5 cases of replenishment, but be EXTREeeeeemly careful of making any kind of "down payment." These fellows in cream suits, crocodile skin shoes, panama hats and sunglasses all have very deep pockets and very short arms! You may never see the money again. :shock:

hows the new menu folks?.....

It seems incomplete in the extreme. There's nothing I can drink on this bit. Whine, whine, where's the wine?

Vintage port and claret included with every meal David.

Claret is appreciated, its on the reverse of the menu. Windows 17 can rotate a page. Can Luigi add Ox-Tail Jardiniere as a Plat du Jour?

also there will be horses doofers and bangers & Mash.

A very nice taster menu!

We still need some decent maim courses apart from the Italian stuff (nice though it is).

Now pasties and anchovies with anchovies on toast with anchovies are indeed wonderful culinary delights I think we must offer some alternatives. We must have a good curry option and then of course the "game" as well - pheasant, venison, grouse, rabbit and hare etc. Apart from Vietnamese type food we need to have steaks, other beef dishes, lamb, pork, (roasts of course), some seafood and chicken is always good.

For our antipodean crew members I would certainly add kangaroo, ostrich and maybe even camel and crocodile!

Now I am happy to make suggestions, BUT I am not a caterer, have never been one and will not start now!

We should recruit a decent chef - or indeed let Gordon do his own thing in the galley!

McC

Whilst some talks, some does. I have just had word that a little scheme of mine has been successful, you may notice a man wearing an iron mask in the Galley, don't ask him his name and don't lend him a nailfile.

You will hear nothing on the news, it is all to be kept behind the teeth. I have high hopes this recruit will join us on a permanent basis, top Cheffing is very stressful and can lead to bad language. Sir William's menu will be available, and as dishes are requested, they will be added. The Plaggy Stewarts will work with and for this man, I think we have a solution.

I have heard that most of the Public Health Inspectors have settled down to their new life aboard the "Flying Cockroach", and can be very nimble under the right encouragement. The change will do them good and we drew £500 each for our crimping efforts.

Good result all round.

There is a request for us to stop throwing breadrolls at each other, it just makes work.

If Tmac starved his wee furry rodents for a week and then let them into the galley at 02.00 hrs they could gorge themselves on the jaspers. For afters they could have Mr McCloggie's "Game".

As Shakespeare said, McCloggie doth protest too much. He knows an awful lot about scran yet won't do a stint in the galley, lets check out his tickets.

Starve my rodent assistants?...... never in a million years I'd rather stick pins in my eyes. The injuneering staff (rodent division) feast on only the finest fillet steak and 25 year old cheese. I'll admit their farts cause the hi level alarms to frequently sound but it's a price worth paying to ensure a happy and "well oiled" in every sense of the word crew.

As for that fancy muck, no thanks, I'll stick to fish and chips and Tayto sandwiches....:eat_arrow:

Cleaning them up, you know. The breadbuns.

If it all comes to grief, we can download the Just Eat App and send out for a pizza.

I'm sorry but the Kay's Catalogue doesn't do fresh food.

And, I should have added, nor does the Crusader/Atalanta/Pennant do WiFi.

Sorry Mr McCloggie but I think that you have included the wrong bird. We would never eat Ostrich, maybe a little Emu from time-to-time. 'Though for myself I have only eaten Kangaroo and that was in my childhood when I had no say in what was served.

Are ya sure those were tears running down your legs??? :big_tongue::big_tongue:

My goodness, it's Varley. I thought you had fallen overboard on one of our previous adventures. It is good to have you back. Can you please knock some sense into some of the crew. They will listen to you.

Gosh, now SSR has flown in for a quick Howdy! All we need now is to hear from Sister Pat and we are a complete crew again. :jump:

No! Dartskipper -- they will never see the money again. If they don't show up with the "merchandise" to be transported, along with a voyage plan, AND the balance of our fee, we'll be taking off with the "Substantial Down Payment" AND full fuel tanks. If they want to mess with us, I'm sure SSR will assist with his whirly-birds, and if push really comes to shove his B29. :balloon:

SSR has the ability and skill to blast any foe from the charts.

Ah, got it now. He paid us.

Why are we still here?

Listen to Varley!!! Have you taken leave of your senses, my dear. If you knew half of what he got up to during his recent visit to London it would turn your hair grey. and you would be known as Grey 17.
We might listen to Tmac........ but there again he has led many of us astray........many times. We're a lost cause, a lost cause. Lets have a wet in the Pax Lounge to relax.

Infamy....INFAMY !!!!! they have all got it in for me :wink:

Lead you lot astray?...moi?.... you lot have committed sins, indiscretion's, felonies, misdemeanours and transgressions many of which have not yet made it to the statute books and all without any assistance or encouragement from me.

As a gang of nefarious cutthroats, bandits and larcenous rogues we are second to none, and long may we continue to stay well clear of the sticky paw of the revenue men and their cohorts :quill: