Yep. And all before lunch, too. :egg:

#" have committed sins, indiscretion's, felonies, misdemeanours and transgressions many of which have not yet made it to the statute books".

Sounds like an afternoon in Belfast Crown Court.

Sorry, Sorry; Belfast Crown Liquor Saloon.

We have been awaiting our contr.... sorry ---- cargo. Mr. McCloggie, perhaps you would be so kind as to stow the 10 suitcases IN the aftermast. (There is a secret door in way of #5 hatch - accessed by playing "Oh! Danny Boy" on the ship's Kazoo)

I will open our sealed orders after we clear Nassau Harbour in the a.m. -- single up right after breakfast at 11:00 hours. :eat_arrow:

Zzz Zzz zzz zz zzzz zzzzz

Zzzzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Zz zz Zzzzzz zz zz zzz.

No, nothing happening!

Can the Chief Injuneer please assist and give me rendition of Oh Danny Boy so I get the tune right?

McC

try this version.....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0ZNXxPP10I

Try the very aft most mast, I think you are whistling to the Starboard aft Samson post.

Also -- I think we purchased that Kazoo when we were in Toronto, when we went up the St. Lawrence Seaway -- so has to be played in the key of Eh? :balloon:

Will you please try and read the morning paper (as you obviously can't read bloody music). Anyone know of a cage we can Rattle to get a professional to help?

I would have you know that my musical skills are superb. I have played in front of The Prince of Wales. Then we moved on and played in front of the Rose and Crown, during the day we visited 15 pubs. We only played in front of the the first 10.

I suggest that someone murmurs "Open Sesame!" and then lights a gas axe.

Despite what they say about blowing one's own trumpet, self praise is no recommendation.

Here, use my lighter.

Coincidence??? I used to play in the Prince of Wales In Newhaven 3 nights a week. Never could understand why the gaffer handed me a paper with pictures of tadpoles on telephone wires though.

steward! take this up the bridge for Tom please......

Well to be perfectly honest, in my humble opinion, of course without offending anyone who thinks differently from my point of view, but also by looking into this matter in a different perspective and without being condemning of one's view's and by trying to make it objectified, and by considering each and every one's valid opinion, I honestly believe that I completely forgot what I was going to say.

In the Injunroom, under the guidance of Tmac The First (Tmac I), we have a mutual admiration society and it works pretty well. My self esteem (e Steam) is such that I feel confident of bandying words with the likes of Tom, Billy and Varley. In depth discussions with Red 17 is my next goal.
Why does Red 17 sound like a terrorist organisation? (Well she terrorises me).

I remember interruptin Tmac during some maintainance one Christmas and asking for Nut Crackers. he chased me with a pair of shifters...LOL

Perhaps he was trying to "bar" you.

Tmac Chief you're looking good in the leopard print boiler suit. Are you going for a run ashore? Good, I don't blame you, the crowd in the Smoke Room are uncouth, ever so uncouth. Bring us back a fish supper.

Uncouth!! ...did you hear that guys?
have to check in Tom's book dont know if thats a Log, Flog or Blog job!

Perhaps he was insinuating that you should play Davy Crochet. :bad_mad:

Thank you so much, Sir William. It's nice to feel appreciated from time to time. By all means join me. :pint:

Sealed orders require we rendezvous with a decrepit wooden fish boat in Bahia de Guaraguao on Nueva Esparta in Venezuela. Captain is a Carib Indian maiden by the name of Filthy Lucre.

Tmac, I think it might ba wise to run a test on our cloaking gear for this one. (I assume our torpedo tubes are all up to snuff as usual?) :supercool:

Cheers Chief, there's nothing I like better than cold cod and chips, sans vinegar. Remind me not to ask you again. And in anyways were heading to Puerto Miranda so all hands ashore. Captain Alexander sure knows how to keep Jack happy, Ven-ee-swhale-a-here-we-come. Steward iron my dress chinos.

Make up your mind, dress or chinos, you look bonny in either.

Too many groucho's, Steward hold the dress. Phew, for a minute I thought I'd been rumbled.

OH gawd...hope he's not borrowing RED's lippy. got enough problems with them bent plasticos.....LOL

Cloaking gear is 100 A1 as always, it was so bloody good I forgot I'd left it on and couldn't find my way back to the ruddy ship. Wandered up and down the quay I did for hours while poor Engine Serang's fish supper slowly congealed into a frozen lump of lard. Eventually Squeek came to the rescue and smelt the rancid cheese he had stashed behind the capstan and thus was able to guide us back. :applause: FYI our torpedo tubes were upgraded yonks ago to Tomahawk launchers kindly donated by SSR.

As a one off special treat Engine Serang, Eric will make you an Ulster Fry for your brekkie, just scrape the rat droppings to the side of your plate and you will be fine (just in case you thought it was Caviar as a side dressing :thumb:)

Red 17 I understand you are experiencing some power fluctuations in your accommodation, fear not young lady I shall send my best sparks to test all your circuits, he is an expert at wire pulling and can be easily recognised as being charred and blackened while dangling from the deck head light fittings. Alternatively you could present yourself with a suitable and sizeable bribe for which you will be allocated your own personal generator. ;)

He's been buying them in different shades for ages, they compare notes.

have you seen his underwear?....I thought they were RED's when I saw them on the halyard.

Bosun will you lock your ford store, Billyboy's on the turps again. Turps makes him hallucinate and talk gibberish. If he pulls rank let him have a small tumbler of paint thinners.

No - the red thing(s) up there was International Code Flag "B" -- when we were loading fresh "smart" ammo for our defense. :supercool:

Ah, thanks for explaining that To, At first i thought...well you know how it is when your Alcohol blood level gets low.

How could I possibly terrorise you ES, we have never had a personal conversation? I am just along for the ride and the exciting places we shall visit.

Why, in God's name does my name keep cropping up: I just want everyone to have a good time and enjoy the journey. What have I done, or not done, to deserve to have my name mentioned like this. Come on skipper, I thought that this was a vessel for all, regardless of their sex? I feel sure that if we were to meet in person that we would have a lot in common. I am feeling disappointed. :very_sad: Is it because of the fact that I among one of the few antipodeans.

My ancestry goes back to the 1600's in the UK.

Calm down dear, they're only trying to make you feel welcome. Sometimes we all have to modify our behaviour to accommodate a first tripper, and generally everyone bonds. Remember what Crocodile Dundee said, " There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about".

Eh? Regardless of sex, does she mean we have to swing both ways. That might be a bit of a struggle after all this time.

(Mutter, mutter, bring me another (,) steward, this one's split)

"My ancestry goes back to the 1600's in the UK". Impressive but lets check out the runners and riders of the 1600's:-

Queen Elizabeth I: 1533-1603. Queen Elizabeth I was the last Tudor Monarch. Her 40 year reign is known for economic growth and stability. Read more about Queen Elizabeth I.

Nell Gwyn: 1650 to 1687. A prominent actress who was the mistress of King Charles II and is considered by many as a folk heroine.

Queen Anne: 1665-1714. Queen Anne was the last of the Stuart monarchs and first married queen to rule England. Read more about Queen Anne.

Lady Mary Wortley Montagu: 1689 to 1762. A writer and aristocrat who is most famous for her obervations about Eastern life via her Turkish Embassy letters.

Jeez Red there's a bit of pedigree there, how the hell did you end up in Van Diemens Land?

That's strange, I live in the UK and my ancestry goes back to three generations in Australia. :huh:

You can strike ER1 of the list, I have no time at all for her or her pox ridden father. Queen Anne was a Stuart so she is fine by me and, believe it or not, I have read about Mary Montagu in some of the biographies about women that I have in my book collection.

How did I end up in VDL, well it's like this, remember during the late 1700's, early 1800's when England's prison system was filled to overflowing? Yep, you got it, fortunately since then the family has managed to stay on the right side of the law.

Now, after all that, I need a Dom, anyone care to join me for a tipple? :pint: Sir William is buying. :angel:

If we all took a dislike to pox ridden sailors we would have trouble signing on a crew. Tolerance is the secret, tolerance and the use of hand gel before entering the pool deck bar.
So a quick rub with Imperial Leather and up for some Dom, Stolly Bolly and Gin&Dubonet. The Queen Mother drank it, you know.