We DO NOT make smoke.... EVER my injuns are finely tuned machines and operate at maximum efficiency at all times.

Incidentally whoever had the "bright" idea to roast Pat's chickens in my second funnel suite had better remove them toot sweet otherwise I shall be forced to insert copious amounts of chicken nuggets into the culprits stern gland :mad: you have been warned !!!! :mad:

Engine Room aka the black pit where we are UMS anyhoo, well most of the time.

Oh dear just realised....before you ask....UMS = Unmanned Machinery Space :rolleyes:

Just been catching up with events after some seriously long perusal of a magazine I found under the deck boards in my cabin. It was a most fascinating collection of art studies of nubile young females demonstrating some interesting yoga positions. :eek:

I see that the peanut butter situation hasn't been resolved completely. I enjoyed it in my younger days, but it always seemed to retard the natural digestive processes, so small doses of castor oil would have to be imbibed to help internal lubrication. Because of this, I discovered that stern tube grease has the same consistency as peanut butter, and is sometimes vegetable based in composition, thus having no detrimental effect on the human food processing equipment. i.e, It won't kill you, and it won't hang around very long.

For those of the crew who prefer something less savoury than Vegemite and Marmite, I have hung several long sticky fly catching papers up around the midships accommodation. When I have caught enough flies, I shall take them down to the Galley so that they can be baked into some faux Garibaldi biscuits. I find that normal houseflies can be a bit chewy, so I am hoping to catch some nice juicy bluebottles.:D

There may be other members of the crew who can claim Aussie heritage. I know of one, personally. Never been there myself though. :rolleyes:

I love a challenge Tmac. :) Why else would I be on the GD.;)

I have a whole heap of relatives who live in Australia (They're Australians, put simply), but I don't think that works back osmotically to me...does it?

Just been checking in the Galley fridge and cold store. I was going to order stuff but nowhere to put it. its all stacked out with Anchovys.
Red-17. Please detail off the cutouts to clear away at least 50% of the anchovys to make space for fresh meat and fish please. The pantry store needs a good clear out too.
You look good in your white shirt and shorts. Can see your underwear through them.O know why they call you Red now ha ha

Sadly no Farmer John, but the family here could adopt you and then you could become an Australian, you would, off course, have to pass the vegemite test first.:)

I was just checking Tmac because ER means something different to a nurse and thanks for explaining UMS, I would never have got that one. Very thoughtful of you.:)

Should have made myself clearer. The smoke was from the roasting chooks not your engines which I realise would only make invisible nuclear smoke.

The roasted chickens will be gone by lunch time today. What's for dinner tonight?

I was only trying to help Red-17 with the pantry clearout by chucking the Marmite over the side. Everything I do seems to be wrong.
I imagined that they would be red but, at least, that is now confirmed. :)

Aye aye Sir, who is the anchovy lover? There no good without pizza or chicken cacciatore. Will get the cutouts onto it and also the pantry store. Note to self, check the cutouts don't try and smuggle anchovies back to their crews quarters, could get rather smelly.

All my underwear is red, wasn't expecting to wear white shorts and shirt.

And just when did you find out about the pantry clean out, I've only just been asked to attend to it.

Stop imagining the colour of my underwear, it is very disconcerting!

Aw geez, not my chooks again! Do you people not like fresh eggs? Does Tmac have to explain this to you? You know the part about what came first...the chicken or the egg? OK, no eggs Benedict and Mimosas for you.

I have no peanut allergy and that's what's important. So, I'll have a case of peanut butter. If you have a peanut allergy, don't kiss me.

That brings me to uniforms. On inspection of the uniforms available, we have one French Maid's uniform, one swashbuckler, 2 pirate, one Swedish Chef uniform. There is a Carmen Miranda hat but the fruit looks pretty bad. We have lots of fishnet stockings. Why? But here is the heartbreaker. I found a box that was very neatly wrapped. Upon opening it, I found a hog cape. :( Sir William, Sir, do you think it would be permissible to fly the hog cape as our flag? It would put the fear of God in a few, but mostly it would make us smile. :D I do miss the old fart :( ...and that's exactly what the hog cape smells like. :D

Well done to those that loaded all the case of White Gloss. Stores is shaping up but we are in need of lots of stuff. Everyone please post your "want" lists for me here. I'll be getting the usual baling wire, super glue, duct tape, twine, batteries in a variety of shapes and sizes, invisibility cloaks (for sneaking by customs officers), of course, more crayons, massage oils and bikini wax kits.

Please make an appointment with me for your uniform fitting. If you're a bit squeamish, be prepared, I'm going to measure your inseam whether it needs measuring or not.

That is all.

Yes Pats fly the cape as flag.
Measure my inner seams any time you like young lady. I must warn you though that it has earned me esteem in the past (Many years ago...ha ha)

Ships Notice Board:
http://everytimezone.com/
This could be useful for some of us wishing to PM other crew members in various corners of the world

Yo Boss.. did my ice rink in no. 1 hold make it through?? The Lads start in round 2 of the NHL playoffs tomorrow against the Choke Kings...

Umm? billy boy, Sir, who is ssr481? Do we have a stowaway on board and what is his ice skating rink doing in No 1 hold?:confused:

Are we sure that his skating rink hasn't come from the pawn shop on a corner in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania? :rolleyes:

Dear lady, the ice rink in no. 1 hold is for when I need to practice my hockey skills.. and for when the odd National Hockey League team needs the ability to practice. I'm also the GD's air wing commander (did ye notice the hangar on the aft end of the ship?? If'n yer nice to me, I'll let you in.. but if not, I've got all kinds of sneeky things that go boom)... for when the crew goes off galavanting and gets into trouble.. though when the conference semi-finals start tomorrow night between the Lads (Pittsburgh Penguins) and the Choke Kings (Washington Capitals), the GD crew is on their own.. :D

Could you also add some tubes of caneston to that order Pat, there seems to be a bad case of tropical heat rash among the crew since Tahiti. Also, don't forget the Marmite and peanut butter, maybe some honey as well, lot's of uses for honey.:p

I would have taken the Carmen Miranda hat Pat but not if it is looking as tired as you say. 'I Yi Yi Yi Yi'

That is our flying officer. SSR is a great pilot for our 3 helicopters Red-17. No1 hold has his ice rink in it. That square structure aft of the wheelhouse is our Hanger for the Helicopters.

Ice rink is perfect SSR. Tmac has retuned the Zamboni and I have been down there skimming only this very morning.

Raw wild honey is the best. As you so rightly say many uses for it. Always keep some in my suite for visitors...LOL

SSR has military connections than can be a help to us in times of need. He also flies in supplys of various things when we are short as he has a large chopper. (or so I've heard)

All hands repair to the hangar deck and help to unload SSR's chopper. He's got some rare booze aboard. Oh and Ahrne as well. Chipchop ham, Vegemite.
Case here for the sick bay marked fragile. take care with that one! Case of Jim Beam, 3 cases of black bush (creeping again Jim?) 4 cases of antique scotch (that will be for my suite.( the rest is all marked Galley except for those with the yellow lables they are for Hold No1.

Took me so long to read all the posts that it's now tomorrow already -- turning in.

hope you left night orders on the bridge Tom. Dart Skipper not used to our night watches yet.
steward!make sure Dart Skipper has all he needs on the bridge Please

Seems we have a quiet period at present. Hope Dartskipper, AKA Butterfly is managing without night orders from Tom.

Dartskipper will be fine. He is used to being in command long before he joined this ship.
Mind you he was sober then. But this ship handles so well. And we do everything automated uo there. Its more a question of staying awake and listening for alarms.

I am finding that a quiet turn on the bridge with Dartskipper is very calming, just what I need.

I'll just make a report to him.

Red and Green lights dead ahead, holding steady, OOW, we have just about enough sea-room to dive.

seems a shame to wake him Farmer John. Starboard your helm and show your red mate. we can resume course later when its passed.
bring her up to 30 knots till we are clear then reduce to 25 knots again.
Any problems call Tom out. I am off to my suite.

Good man... the Megascreen TV and braai will be set up for tailgating tonight during the Lads' game.. GO PENGUINS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear lady, no it hasn't. It's come from the best quality midnight requisition items that I could steal...er.. procure... ain't my fault an NHL team that moved doesn't have their rink anymore... :eek:

Ah, I see what you did there, Sir William, I had forgotten we can do corners. I was too busy thinking about the Marmite. Steady back on course, the safety of the ship is paramount.

Where are we going? Just wondered.

If both red 'n green you see in front, Full Ahead and have a shunt.

(Now, come on. You thought I was going to be rude didn't you?)

I know. I posted last night; reading this morning and now it's time for work. :D

Work.. ain't that a four letter word??? :D:eek::D

So is Sloth, if no-one works who will keep me.

(Answers on a postcard)

Pat's can I have Dibs on one of the Pirate Uniforms, just as a spare, y'know. Do you have one with 2 eye-patches? I could catch up on my sleep.

Red-17, the ship will refurbish the fruit on the Carmen Miranda outfit if you promise not to sing all the time.