IJC 38. Who the hell are you? I have no record of you on my list of crew. Please report to sick bay immediately, I repeat, immediately!

I'm coming for you ES. It is neither Skippy OR Sheila and McGloggie has NOTHING to do with supplying of food on this vessel. What the devil are you taking?? More importantly, who is suppling you????:really mad: Bye the way, it is 'wichety', not wichy. Think we need to engage Squeek and Eric at this point in time. Tmac could we please have your approval on this as things are getting quite out of hand. Irish or not he needs to be brought under control or we are all at risk. :shock:

I be wun of dem der interlopers, who climbed de rope ye all left hanging over the stern, yer vessel weren't very shipshape and Bristol fashion, and being of motley crew meeself I tought may as well be sailing wid the udder motlies. I be old and gnarled but still do a fair dinkum hornpipe salsa! aargh!:smoking:

you just cannot leave Udders out of it can you IJC38 ? you know talk like that will wake gulliver up

Gulliver's udders? I don't think I have read that one. The one about talking horses, yes.

What about mustering all hands to skylark and hornpipe, we might get up a thirst.

I be wun of dem der interlopers, who climbed de rope ye all left hanging over the stern, yer vessel weren't very shipshape and Bristol fashion, and being of motley crew meeself I tought may as well be sailing wid the udder motlies. I be old and gnarled but still do a fair dinkum hornpipe salsa! aargh!

Lets us not dwell on how IJC appears to be here - he is and we must deal with it! Its a bit like Brexit really - we may not agree with either side but we must just get on with it.

If IJC wanted to join us all he had to do was present himself to the Security Crew (we do carry some "special" cargoes after all) and we would have checked his suitability, after all anyone is welcome onboard here.

Climbing up the mooring lines however when we had a gangway out does seem suspicious and he may be checking our supply of rum, classic 1950s cars and cigars (Sir William take note).

Now while he may be quite innocent and a genuine crew member, firstly the cut-outs must take him to Sick Bay for a full medical please Red.

After that we can see what role this interloper can perform.

Actually, if he is good at making cocktails and providing Cuban/Spanish food it might get ES off my back and I would support his inclusion into the crew!

Right, off to see where Sir William and Dart Skipper are onshore.

McC

I remember I clambered over the side (incoming) from a raft of some description, but that has not prevented me from becoming joint 1st Mate and Chief Stewart with specila responsibility for bottles.

I don't get asked to drive much these days after landing the GD on the top of the Great Pyramid (did get her down though). Speak up, IJC, and remember that the language spoken aboard is English, we can arrange for lessons. Anyone lively on their toes would find some job here, just don't think of re-arranging everyones roles (or, rolls, if you end in catering) or you might find yourself in the sick bay (i.e. fed a pint of jalap and chucked over the side to purge yourself).

Ha !!! I only joined this fine vessel when Billyboy "invited" me aboard for a nice bit of Black Bush tasting when I awoke three days later surrounded by injun bits. "while you are down there" he said "you might as well amuse yourself by assembling those bits and thingymabobs" :smoking: and years later I'm still down this feckin' pit up to my oxters in Tellus oil and WD40 (don't ask) yet I wouldn't wish for better shipmates or to be anywhere else. (and if any of you lot ever repeat my comment, I'll kill ya :really_mad: !!!!)

Young lady Squeek and Eric are at your service and if the threat of those two reprobates does not have the desired effect I shall emerge from within the pit bearing my oversize flogging spanner and legendary 7llb shifter to seek retribution on your behalf :shock:

What the *£"^ is all that noise on the deck above my injun room?.... Hoi who the feck are you ???? and if you don't quit that leaping about like a rat on a hot floor plate I'll shove this fire hose up your stern gland and give you a colonic irrigation you will never forget :really_mad:

Bloody deckie types, no sense of decorum, not like us injuneers :smoking: (mutter mutter mumble mumble)

Tmac, sense of decorum does not mean nailing up some flying ducks and using brown wall-paper to show off your aspidistra, it means having spittoons and not using them.

Ere ye! I wus only using dee rope, cos dee gangway was full of ye mates flaked out and I cuddna get apast them. Anyway I ad a full case of Pussers Rum under me arm for dem in charge, who ever de be, an Pussers Rum was the nearest I cud git to Pussy Rum which Ah naw you'd all prefer. Anyway Ah cudn't find anyone in charge, so I drank it, ish wash very gush

Righto Sir William. It's very nice to stretch the legs on shore again. Spend too long at sea and the equilibrium gets discombobulated somewhat. Anyway, shall we hail that 1956 Checker Marathon over there? Or would you prefer that 1957 Chevvy Bel Air ragtop? (I think that's what our ex Colonial buddies call a convertible.) Do we go and stock up with some Coronas, or shall we sample a few noggins of the local distilled sugar cane by product?

Oh, I say! Let's follow her across the street, she may be going to that nice looking hostelry up the road. I do like the way her transom moves as she walks. Reminds me of the deckie learner trying to scull our dinghy in a stiff breeze.

Oh, Dartskipper, your description of sculling fills me with a strong desire to go out and grab an oar (I think that's how it is spelt).

Correct FJ. The "H" is silent. (Like the "P" in bath.)

Dear Farmer John and Billyboy, I am putting pencil to jotter because I am becoming more and more concerned about poor Red 17.She is retreating into her shell and is quite morose at times and this is not the bubbly outgoing young lady whom you invited (apparently) on board a few idyllic months ago.
Galley scuttlebu as it that she is being harassed by a member of our crew, sexually harassed. Tis is covered in the Shipping Act and the Geneva Convention and probably Marpol. Frigging computer is deleting letter itself, bloody Toshib

After the recent problems we have had with ES should we really take his word that IJC 38 is a sound man? Is there anyone else who can vouch for him.

Tmac, I think I now understand why you keep to yourself below deck.

Oh Dear? You do realise Butterfly that whilst you are sleeping away I am going to be bothered for the remainder of the day trying to work that one out! :confused:

:really_mad::cloud: Not long after ES joined the crew of the GD11 he had me cavorting with squaddies, because 'someone else told him so', now he has me being sexually harassed, again because 'someone else told him so'. Does he not think that my change of mood might have more to do with him????? If you repeat scuttlebutt you are bound to have it come back and bite you in the, in the, agh, you know where!

Skipper, could someone please have a word with this man? I have been nice to ES and friendly, I think that he deliberately chooses to try and upset me. I have never met such a contrary Irishman, in fact I have never met ANY contrary Irishmen. I am slowly loosing the will to live, will 'No one rid me of this man?' Or at least have a quiet word with him about my search for peace and calm and goodwill among men, oh, and women. I do apologise to any newcomers for my outburst, life on board the GD is not normally like this. :very_sad:

Quack Varley????
How very dare you!!...Our comunications/electical technician will not be best pleased with you calling him that.
Whilst working in close liason with Chief Tmac (thet legal?) he has helped to keep this fine ship in fair fettle.

[I]Not a lot of enthusiasm lately. For those who done know. I was bitten by a kitten (wow I am a poet) the cursed animal died the next day. I have holes in both shoulders now from many jabs. I get the last dose of Anti Rabies shots on August 8th (with luck).
I am not allowed to bite anyone before then.
first time i find a pussy with teeth like needles.[/I

[QUOTE=Red-17;15884]After the recent problems we have had with ES should we really take his word that IJC 38 is a sound man? Is there anyone else who can vouch for him.



Red-17, I can vouch for IJC 38, he is an absolute gentleman and quite the mover and shaker on the dance floor, has been known to associate with high society:smoking:

As to your qualms re ES, 'I have never met such a contrary Irishman,' he's pussy cat compared to a fellow countryman on another site!:paper:

IJC38 is a gentleman of the old school , despite the beard ,I would vouch for him 24/7/52 , and a fellow refugees from 'tother place [ not SN ]

Thank you Red, Let's make it this evening. Don't worry about ES -- I think he is just jealous of our refinement and appreciation of what we, anyway, consider the finer things in life. :)

I don't know about Gulliver's udders, but someone asked me how many birds there were in the walk-in cooler -- I opened the door and there stood two topless blondes -- I said "There's four blue-tits in there!" :bounce:

Don't humour him Red -- he's just winding you up!

I think i'll transfer him to the holding tank with a shovel -- he seems ideally suited for stirring the contents. :jester::jester:

Welcome aboard IJC -- I see from your profile you are an ex-trawler man. In that regard you are now offically appointed as our lead fisherman. Your duties will be to organise three cutouts to be seconded from Mr. McCloggies deck crew to assist you in providing fresh sea food for our consumption as and when required. I suspect that as you can drink a whole case of Pusser's and talk about it the next morning, you should fit right in with our crew. Fortuneately we do have many more cases aboard, together with all sorts of other fine libations. Please join us in the PAX lounge for a welcome aboard party. We should also welcome our resident stowaway, Rob Page as he is still hanging around. (Memo to self - got to find something for him to do as well!) Tmac, you might as well join us as we have just had a fresh supply of Black Bush flown in for your personal consumption. :pint:

[QUOTE=gray_marian;15890]Marian, if I may call you Marian? --- would you like to sign on the crew here on the GD II ?? I think you'd make an ideal companion for Red.

I see you were just a twinkle in your Dad's eye when I sailed out of Princess Dock in Glasgow. Had some friends up in Cardonald -- was quite the ride taking the last tram down the Paisley Road to get back to the ship.(A bit like a roller coaster on steroids as I gather the driver wanted to get home.) I also had a nurse friend who worked in the York Hill hospital, and I used to take the Goven Ferry over to see her. Now there's maritime nostalgia for you! :brain:

Cuid a do:


A shipmate keeps referring to Dodgy Mona as the Isle of Man. Red 17 regards this as a form of sexual harassment and whilst I do not fully agree with her, she can be a trifle sensitive, we must protect her. It is proposed that from henceforth, on the GD2, the Isle of Man will be called the Isle of Persons. No drink spilled and no horse frightened. QED.

Argh! it be a long time since this poor Yorick cast a net in those welcoming cold waters off Iceland and Bear Island, I was but a tiddler myself, St Peter my fellow net caster was yet a boy also, joining the MN was like going to heaven after trawlers, forsoothe I shall endeavour to fulfil the duties cast upon me, so that my shipmates may enjoy the fruits of my labour of sticking my hand up a fish and ripping its guts out.


I am humbled by the references given by the fair maid Marian and stowaway Rob and I shall endeavour to live up to their disappointment in me. As one teacher said, this boy will not get far' but alas he had not reckoned on me joining the MN, I went so far I met myself coming back!


And as for the gentlemen some erstwhile time earlier said I should expose myself, forsoothe, oddboddikins sire have yee but little knowledge that it would transgress all known laws of Her Majesty's Realm and Governance to exhibit what little I have left and I have no wish to inconvenience Her Majesty's Constabulary in trying to find something that I find hard to locate even though it is still attached. :confused:

IJC 38, you might get on well with Dartskipper as you are from Torquay.

With his background maybe Rob Page could lend a hand to Tmac when required below.

Grey-Marion, with her background she may be able to stand an occasional watch in the Radio shack when Mr Varley's busy.

Ijc 38
 

Thanks to gray marion and Rob Page I am more than happy to extend my hand of welcome to IJC 38, and also to Marion and Rob. We are normally a happy fun loving crew but just occasionally there are issues that need to be aired. I do apologise for my outburst this morning but I do not like Furphys to be told about me.


Tom, please meet me on the wharf at 1900 so that we can head out for the evening.:princess:

Repeat scuttlebutt, of course I repeat scuttlebutt it's how the ship communicates. Little of import comes from the bridge, the wireless shack is manned (Personned) by an inhabitant of Crooked Mona and all that drifts up from the black hole is technical jargon and drunken ramblings. Hence; Ask the Cook.


As to the contrary Irishman you are half right, under the Good Friday Agreement I have both an Irish and a UK of GB and NI Passport. This allows me to be two faced as it does Tmac, although he was two faced long before the GFA. Tmac's two little friends only have a GB passport as they were graded too intelligent to have an Irish one.
Be nice Red 17, or perhaps be even nicer.

You can see how out of date are the denizens of enemy occupied Hibernia. We are in the era of GMDSS - we do not communicate by scuttlebutt or by the cook's range but by broadband GalleySat.

The Isle of Man is good enough for my Sovereign's personal representative who signed my Passport for me. And my mona is not the slightest bit crooked, even after a good night out (the frequency/load curve might be a little steep but no elbow to the baby's arm).

Capital idea Mr V, we'll digitise the cook, McCloggie will henceforth be known as 001011101011. Bit of a mouthful but tastier than his Cock au Van.

That sounds a little more like octal to me.

wow this is a nice place. Red velvet furnishings. Maroon Bar, Red Carpeting....even the lights outside have red bulbs.
The waitresess!!...wow, If she wore anything I bet that would be red too.
Bottle of Rum and two glasses please miss.