Aukland eh!...golly good. nice run ashore there will do us all good.
Steward!...full English please and dont forget the Coffee and Rum to wash it down.

Roger that. The Wimshurst machine is at full belt while I get the two Van de Graff's on line. If that doesn't encourage a little discharge or three I don't know what will. Please keep the corks in the Gripewater and White Gloss. A cold discharge might not cause ignition but one cutout, careless with the Leyden jars, and there'll not just be delamination but crispy disintegration followed by a tippy-flaggy-stiffy-over-the-wall ceremony.

Arggh, the bathwater's going the wrong way I've washed the wrong leg first.

Hmmmm My in suite compass is 180 degree out??? strange that! Gyros still right though.

Pool bar opening on my tab guys.
Jim flew off in stealth mode during the night. Gone to a secret destination to obtain unmentionable items for us.

Sir William, Sir, I still have in my possession one of your Titanium American Express Cards, but it has expired. Might I get a new one? Lots of shopping to do, you know. The crew's shopping list is extensive and a bit kinky....though no one has asked for a patch kit for their blow-up dolls....yet. :p

I had to take mine back to the shop and told the lad "this went down on me"... he replied "if I'd known it did that I'd have charged you more" :)

What a welcome, okay, where do I sign on?

I'm planning a sailing night welcome dinner for all hands:

Menu:

Double Consommé Celestine with cheese pastry straws

Fillet of Sole au beurre noisette

Individual Beef Wellington, Sauce Béarnaise

Caesar Salad

Chocolate Souffle

Kenya Dark Roast Coffee

Assorted Petits fours

Oh heck! I just read the last post where vegemite sarnnies (sp.? (ugh! Sorry, not the spelling, it's the vegemite)) are expected. So I guess I should remake the menu.

Cream of Cauliflower Soup.

Fillet of Kippered Herring on Toast

Grilled Mutton chops, Mint Sauce, Roast Potatoes and 2 Veg.

Mixed Salad with Heinz Salad Cream

Bread Pudding

Tea with Condensed Milk (Please, no fighting to lick the crusty bits off the lid (engineers and greasers excused.))

Chocolate Digestive Biscuit

The offer of bespoke uniforms and pinny clinched the deal, along with my own suite...I'll sign on deep-sea!

Rodney

Ps. In thinking the menus over the second one is more in tune with the spirit of Brexit, my first menu is just a bit too European.:D

Yes Pats of course my dear. Come to my suite and I will give you one.(a card that is readers)

So good to have a professional chef aboard.

Does Rodney take bookings for private dinner parties. I did like the look of the first menu. Yum!:)

Shore Leave
 

Skipper Tom, how does one go about applying for shore leave? I'm off to Tasmania, Van Diemen's Land, in a couple of weeks time for a reunion of a rock group from the 70's. I'm one of the appointed groupies. :D

I see you have it well in hand, as the actress said to the Bishop!:rolleyes:

But the smoke goes up the chimney just the same!!! :p

You don't have to apply -- just state you are going, although, thank you, it is nice to know for how long and what you might be up to while away.

(Got me all excited there for a minute -- thought you said you are going to be one of the grope-ees -- and I'm wondering if any gropers are needed? :cool:

A thought crossed my mind that we could give you a lift to Tas, but then thought, no, it's getting a bit too chilly down there at this time of year. :o

Auckland in 6 hours -- Pilot in 4 -- requesting berth close to the best bars. Was thinking of slipping him a 6 pack of Fosters for his trouble, but then thought he might not be too impressed by that.

Give him a bottle of blended scotch, He will be happy enough with that. We will get him bevied up on the way in. heh heh heh

Trust Vivki D leaves vessel before rendezvous with group of rocks. Extra lookouts please and for heaven's sake check the paper chart and take your eyes of the telly-navy-steery-fixy thing for a moment.

There must be cupboards in my suite that I haven't found? Must have a closer look. Oh dear, I feel quite embarrassed now. Hmmm, I wonder with whom I should share the 'fine champers' ? :rolleyes:

If you think Tassie is cold in May, wait till you get to En Zed. Hope you have woolly undies or you might be dealing with brass monkeys.:D

What a great idea Skipper. Fresh vegies, fresh eggs and, occasionally, fresh chicken (when they have passed there egg laying years) and lamb for roast dinners. Oh for a sailors life on the GD. ;)

And you can leave the fizz with me for safekeeping while you're finding your rocks.

Ah? But Varley, could I trust you with the fizz?:confused:

Hmmmmm interesting day aboard. Pilot getting piscatoriaal on the bridge, Varley volunteering Champer sit while Red-17 get her rocks off (whatever that means) and our berth drawing closer. Hope Tom shows the Pilot how to put the brakes on!

Well, you are between those rocks of yours and a hard place. Anyone else on this tub you'd sooner choose?

(Lets face it they'll be drunk by the time you get back anyway. Brighten up Sir W. Platyhelminthian card will buys us all more to replace it).

Stocks of Champers are rolls Roycean (adequate). Just ask the steward for what you require.

I'll have a pint of Bass Charringtons draft Dark Mild.

Make mine a draught Guinness please steward.

Hmmmm seem to be slowing down for out berth....thats always a good sign. Late commodore Briggs would have been alongside and in the nearest pub by now, complete with his Hog cape.

Yes, but the late Commodore Briggs had a secret reverse thruster -- he just faced aft, flatulated, and the whole lot came to an immediate stop. It was also very effective in fumigating the holds at the same time -- was no wonder the GD is rat free! :mad:

AND -- seeing this site is still about sharing nostalgie, I wold like a Double Courage Please. :rolleyes:

There we go ---- came to a no bump stop on the West side of Princess Wharf, just ahead ot the three masted barquentine, the "Spirit of New Zealand". Dartskipper (forward) & Farmer John (aft) please ensure all lines are doubled up and the rat traps rigged. (All you need to do is tell the cutouts and relax while they do it. Usually done within 5 minutes -- Danny Doolans pub is just across the street at the end of the quay. Pats, if you're still around please get a coule of cutouts to rig the accomodation ladder and escort the pilot to his waiting car. (Two cutouts needed as the pilot will need a stretcher as he appears to have no control over his legs at the moment!)

Thirsty work that ----- Doolan's it is then.

To the pub I say....to the pub.

Shore supply connected Tmac. knock the genny off mate and come with us to Doolans bar. Pats, grab your bags, heres your new titanium card. take two cutouts with you for carrying. when you have all you need get the cut outs to carry it aboard and join us in the Pub.
Red-17, you may go shopping with Pats, she has a titanium card. get what you need.

I won't say no to the use of someone else's titanium card. Thank you billyboy, I'm sure Pat and I won't have any trouble spending your money. :D Where is Pat anyway, haven't seen her around for awhile, not since she went off to fit up Chef Rodney with his uniform?? Should we be concerned:confused:

yes they did rather take a shine to each other. Only ever had one romance between two members of crew (of opposite sexes) aboard here. well errrr ummmmmm the plastic stewards all seem to be married to each other aboard here. except one who seems to be a bit sweet on cut out No 10.

All lines forrard ashore and secured. All lines doubled up with triple preventers. Rat traps secured. Backsprings secured. Fenders rigged. Windlass and capstan secured.

Right, which way was the pub?

sniff sniff!!....That way! lets follow the smell of burning rubber from Toms sea boots heh heh heh

Seeing as you are intent on doing such a complete job, where is the sh1t shute?? Can't have any deleterious material splashing over the wharf, can we?? :eek:

Ah! Tarbender, I'd like a N1ggers Blood please -- yes 3 oz of Old Tawny Port in a pint mug topped up with draught Guiness. Puts hair on your chest and lead in your pencil that does.:D:D

Glad to see everyone here in the pub -- live music due to start any minute.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGyPuey-1Jw

Too bad whoever wrote the lyrics doesn't know the difference between a barrel and a scupper!

(For those who don't know -- this is actually a Canadian group)

Galvanised buckets are ready at the gangway, Tom. :rolleyes:

I hope you have somewhere to write, Tom?;)