Considering that she is holding a horse's tail, I wouldn't want the lady to grip me by any tender dangly bits when in a bit of a temper.

Yes, I've heard Ladies in a mood can do that FJ

Tmac has not posted for a few days, he is sulking because his shirt is AWOL. He refuses to sit at the Laptop in his string vest with his hairy chest visible to all the world. Would that he was as modest on our runs ashore.

Ah, the string vest! Good for fishing, straining vegetables, catching small animals and giving the impression the wearer is stuffed with horsehair and has burst.

Rubbish. No bust at all. I've not seen a pink horse either. Elephants, of course, pigs, perhaps. Just not horses.

Send you a private message

Received today from Red - :) :)


"Please reassure everyone, even ES, that my R&R is going well and that I have had a clearance from my specialist to say that all test results etc have shown that he has done a good job.


I have been enjoying lots of quiet time at my brothers and walks in the country with his border collie, Casey, she is such a lady and very well behaved. Which is just as well because I would not be able to chase after her. ��


Am trying to imagine ES being 'almost' civil, I am sure he will be OK for a week or two and then I will be back, He is top of my list for inoculations. I knew that I could count on FJ to look after the garden, a good man to have aboard.


St Maarten, warm sunshine sounds good, it is very chilly here still. I look forward to my trinkets Tom, sounds like Sir Williams platinum card is getting a workout again?


It was good to hear from you Tom. Please tell the crew, scurvy and otherwise, that the first round of drinks will be on my tab when I return."

That's very good news from Red17, but you have to wonder if a short spell in drydock with a bottom scrub and boiler clean under the supervision of our Chief Injuneer wouldn't have delivered similar results? After the Chief's tender administrations, ably assisted by ES, Red would have been out and about far sooner, and probably overtaking her brother's collie when chasing rabbits.

Rabbits are quite slow, when we were harvesting I used to catch rabbits by running after them and diving on them. No bolt hole, they quit very soon.
This does not work with ladies, they turn on you with their parasols. This is why rabbits are not so equipped.

I know Sir William's got a barge but the Chief's now got a tender? Why don't we all have our own bloody boats so Red can choose who goes to collect her. "Leckie's Launch" has a ring to it.

Good news Red. We look forward to your return.:flowers::wave:

Great news RED. See you in the PAX Bar when you return. Plenty of cold Champers waiting for you.

I haven't even seen the Pink Panther.

(Knock, knock --------- who's there? -----------Panther ---------- Panther who? ------- Panther stuck in the door - open up!! :jester: :bye:

Howdy Gang.. SSR481 here.. apologies for the long absence, but C-in-C-House has recently come home from hospital.. spending almost 7 weeks in whilst undergoing FOUR (4) spine surgeries in the same spot (the last one of which to resolve an infection which almost killed her).. thus, my opinion of the medical profession (here in the Colonies especially) has cratered deeper than the Lochnagar Mine crater and sunken lower than whales**t at the bottom of the Marianas trench...



But I'm BACKKKKK

welcome back SSR. Just in time for the splicing of the main brace.

Varley's Northumbrian Spoke-shaver's Coracle also has a certain ring to it -- notable around the waterline! :jump:

I'm glad it's you SSR -- I thought that noise was one of my ventilation fans running amok.

If you want a cool one we have kept #1 hold ready for your return. Surface is perfect and the bar is set up and ready to go. No visitors, but those of us with a nostalgic bent could probably lace up for a game of shinny. :jump:

Sir Williams Titanium credit card is developing an unnatural bend so we need to give it some time to cool off.

Leaving tomorrow for Oranjestad, Aruba. Weather forecast for a nice steady, lightly building breeze -- should make for a lazy 3 day sail.

Injuneers can use the slack time to get a new batch of mash going in the scotch boiler. :pint:

Slack Time!!!!
Slack Time my arse.
Any more of these platitudes and we will distill a batch so weak that you will be in danger of appearing on the Bridge in the terrible state of sobriety.
Steward a plate of cold turkey sandwiches for the OOW with a side order of humility chutney.

Red is coming back, good news or as they say in the Outback; Bloody Good News. The Crowd are already painting the gangway in anticipation and there is an air of bonhomie on the vessel. Bloody Good News indeed.
BTW I have always regarded Nursing Sisters who wanted to give me inoculations as really being interested to see if my botts is naturally pert or if I use botox.

Research has now shown that consuming any alcohol is dangerous.

All sing:
We never eats biscuits
'cos biscuits 'as yeast
Too many biscuits
Turns a man to a beast.

Can you imagine
A more awful disgrace
Than to be found
In the gutter
With crumbs on your face?

We all know the chorus.

Well I don't. (Ought I ?)
Its not safe to assume anything on this ship. Half the crew are doddery oul men relying on the odd snifter to keep them upright.

The oul men may not be upright to the standard human optical perception, but the correct amount of alcohol ingestion makes it look as if they are.

Do Dod Doddery!
Suppose he could be right on my part. Had a fall a couple of days back and now have painfull knee caps. do doddery I could well be classed as at the moment.

I have painful kneecaps after sex on the Axminister.

You mean you imported some of those platy-pussies from Oz?? Tmac will not be pleased if they cross breed with Squeek. And thou of little understanding --- the bridge personnel will not be in danger if their libations are diluted -- but we will be more likely to run aground, lose our way, emulate the foo-foo bird, etc.

We don't mind the chutney, as long as we get a liberal helping of curry paste on the cold turkey. :)

Mainly for ES's benefit, here's perhaps the whole song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WsD_Wu6waQ

:pint:

Well I'm speechless, this site and its members have contributed greatly to my education.


But why would anyone pick on rum and ignore sodomy and the lash, or as is in vogue in the more louche areas of London, bum and baccy?

What's this bit about the odd snifter --- what do think this is -- a Mother's Union picnic at Southend??

Indeed, Sir, we are a hardened bunch of doddery oul men who are dedicated souses. Kind of like Scousers with spouses? :mad:

Mr. McCloggie -- I perceive all are aboard, so we can quietly raise the hook and slip away into the deep blue yonder --- "Away, away with fife and drum, here we come full of rum, looking for :hippy: :hippy: ."

got to drive down passed Pindasan and back tomorrow and hoping my left knee holds out.

Nothing odd about my half pints of creme de menthe.

Chippy gave me my monthly haircut on the aft deck yesterday afternoon. He offered me a Brazilian. A Brazilian I ask you. Who told him we were going to Brazil, we down the Machinery Spaces have bunkered for a trip to Aruba and Bonaire. If we head south we will be chopping up the Wardroom piano to put in the boiler. Perhaps a good idea, my eardrums are worn out. Gripitini douches help but then taste mildly of wax.

If you put any gripetini in your ears you will be assailed by loud whistling noises as the faintest breeze will whirl around the empty cranial cavities.

Actually, maybe you already have. It explains a lot.

Raise the anchor it is then.

Focsle cut-out party mustered, hoses rigged and anchor recovered using the GD silent winches (capstan and bars).

Everything secured for sea and ready to proceed.

McC

Under way under all plain sail -- broad reach on the port tack.

You may stand down your anchor party and repair to the pool deck for Elevenses. :pint:

In fact, we have finished with the capstan, let us proceed with the bars.

Bar?...someone say Bar? On my way lads!
I'll have a large one please Steward!

I think McCloggie has opened a bar on the capstan deck. Will the spray dampen the bbq?

I think that's the deck where we store the tobacco. :yawn: