If we train up one of Red 17's goats to clean the mud off the ground tackle by using its horns, would it be the Anchor Butter? :bye:

Dartskipper, if you look, we still have excellent gardens, thus, we have no goats. It really like storing gunpowder in the furnaces, it can't be done.

Gunpowder and furnaces bad? You had better excuse me for a moment or two. I thought adding an element of Huygens to Tmac's supersecret reciprocating gas paddle turbine driver might have been fun.

What happened to the goats?
Someone will have some explaining to do when Red returns.

Is anyone else sick and fed up sailing the Spanish Main? All the lovely people, our types, are currently cruising between Antibes, Palma de Mallorca and Sardinia, let us lay-off a course to the Meddy with all dispatch. Black Spots will be considered.
Rhumb line is better than Rum line.

The goats all turned out to be sheep. It often happens when there is garden in the area. You plant goats, grass comes up and gets turned into sheep. Simple (and irreversible).

I understand but I will leave it to you to explain it to Red. :yawn:

Goats and sheep can be milked, me neither, but if we had a Farmer on the crew list he could do it. Step forward Farmer John.
Anyways this milk can be turned into quite a delightful cheese, me neither, which will add a touch of Gordon -Blue to our sherry receptions. Yum-Yum.

Did I ever tell you about the time I gatecrashed the West Sussex Mother's Union picky-nicky at Southend? No. Well young man please refresh your glass and pull up a chair...………. and I'll begin.

One dark and stormy night, three smugglers sat in a cave,
Tell us a story ES,said one,
And so the tale began:

One dark and stormy night, etc, etc, etc. :eat_arrow:

An interesting thought --- we have never taken the GD2 off planet before, but with Tmac's expertise it is certainly an option to be explored ----- mind you I don't know whether there are any bars, sleazy bordellos, etc. on Titan. :)

It was a dark and a stormy night and the captain said to the cabin boy, tell us a tale, so the cabin boy began.

One dark and stormy night, three smugglers sat in a cave, and one of them said, this is more interesting but just as circular.

It was a dark and a stormy night and the captain said to the cabin boy, tell us a tale, so the cabin boy began.

One dark and stormy night, three smugglers sat in a cave, and one of them said, this is more interesting but just as circular.

He was just about to tell his storey when he was discovered by the Home Guard. Were doomed - doomed said one of the Home Guard when another said "Ere, leave it out! we can take this stuff and - well you know - use it properly and everyone will be happy".

McC

Be afraid, be VERY afraid....I will be back on board very soon and if my injun room is not how I left it those responsible will be off the planet propelled by my boot up their jacksie...:yawn:

I take it I have been missed?.... nah don't answer that I might not like the answer :chuckle::chuckle::chuckle:

Of course you have been missed, your smiling face, your cheerful whistle, your spotless blinding white boiler suit, why have they never been seen? I understand that your domain is heavily booby trapped and also contains toxic liquids, solids and gasses, not to mention the danger of severe mechanical mangling from the whirling and whizzing levers and wheels, and that applies only to the Funnel suite.

Miss you? 'cause we do, grumpy old blighters are hard to find, aren't they?

Come and have a drink. That should cheer you up.

Drinks are on all of us.

That miserable old injuneer is back, let's try and stop him moaning.

Nice to hear you back Tmac. I know it has not been easy dealing with that project under the plates. Steward!!...see to it that Chief Tmac gets anything he wants on my tab please.

Tmac - we're glad you let us know you are returning aboard -- we will ensure that the Black Bush header tank is pressed up. :pint:

well this is nice, relaxing up here listening to the wind through the sails. Steward! peel me another grape please.

Listening to wind? Been at the curried eggs again I guess. And you are not supposed to eat grapes. They are for trampling by Portuguese people who then make it turn Tawny.

Something's taken all the paint of the funnel by the breather pipe stack. Did you leave the Black Bush transfer pump running unattended again, Tom?

No -- anyway the Black Bush is of such superior high quality that it wouldn't remove the extreme quality moisture cure polyurethane coatings we use on the funnel. I suspect that it is more likely that someone (some animal?) in the injuneering dept. either accidentally, or on purpose cross connected the gripetini condensing tube to the breather pipe ?? :egg:

The Black Bush transfer pump? Black Bush is not pumped, every drop is magically moved by ethereal sprites. You might as well suggest that the produce of a lovingly prepared wine, carefully imbued with a delightful petillant bubble, might be pointlessly sprayed over braying chauffeurs after some foolish contest. The very idea!

When I were a wee young whippersnapper, and stuff was still fairly difficult to buy in t' shops, the height of luxury at Christmas was a bottle of Lutomer Laski Riesling medium sweet white wine. This came from Yugoslavia, imported in bulk by Teltscher Bros. Ltd. (i.e. it was shipped in huge containers into London.) The wine, ( I shall have to call it that, because that is about the most approximate description of the slightly amber coloured liquid) was pumped ashore into the bottling plant, where thousands of bottles were filled, labelled, packed into boxes and delivered to off - licences and restaurants all over the United Kingdom. Where did all this highly sophisticated activity take place? Why, on the Isle of Dogs of course. In the docks.

You're right and I'm wrong, Tom. I have just examined the coating damage again. It's actually dissolved the A60 funnel casing away from the paint. You can see right into the funnel suite ablutions through the coating.

Neat Gripetini would have had them both off in one go.

Perish the thought !!! You mean that looking aft from the wheelhouse we'll be able to see Tmac resplendent in his tightie-whities (well they were white at one time) brushing his tooth? (He left the rest in a glass of water beside his bunk.) :curtain_call:

Better you see him in tightie-off-whities than without!

Awwwwww geese, just look at the state of ma bonnie wee funnel suite.........och I don't know you go ashore for five minutes and when you get back chassis and disaster prevail.. who is respsoni.....respison....repsioeni.... wot did this? :mad:

Vandals !!! reprobates !!! saboteurs !!! ... I am shocked, stunned and not a little amazed that somebody, anybody would have the nerve to desecrate my humble abode :very_sad:

I shall retire to my injun room to contemplate my revenge however I trust the Bosun will have his plasticos up top repainting and refurbishing said accommodation toot sweet. Otherwise retribution shall be swiftly forthcoming in the shape of no a/c, no heads, no hot water and no electric current. :bad_mad: also the bar will be closed until the miscreant is brought forth and hung from the cross trees by his dangly bits :yawn:

Excuse moi !!!!! but my teeth are like stars, they come out at night and while I may be incapable of exerting a bite I can apply one hell of a suck when necessary.

Further my tightie-whiteie bits are as pure as the driven slush, well apart from the skid marks incurred in the operation of one's duties :big_tongue:

Finally as for water, I never touch the stuff, drinking, ablutions, laundry or otherwise as it is a most unhygienic concoction.... fish pish and crap in it don't you know and you heathens DRINK IT !!!!!! :pint:

See, our old injuneer is back to his cheerful old ways. Brings a tear to your eye to think of the camaraderie that exists on this ship.

Tmac, come and have a drink.

Ah welcome back aboard Tmac. I trust all went well with your business ashore shipmate. we were with you in Spirit.
Steward! see to it that Chief Tmac gets all he wants on my Tab please.

I don't know about your skid marks, but I see that you have been smoking in bed again by the nicotine on your shirt tails. :yawn:

Oh Ha Ha very funny...NOT !!!!! which one of you scurvy wretches decided it would be a good idea to repaint my funnel suite PINK I am NOT amused as an old queen once told me :bad_mad:

Sooooooooooooo it's jokes and jolly japes you enjoy.... no problemo I enjoy such childish amusements so I have connected the a/c system to the slop tank coupled with a mixture valve to the sewage settling tank just to give the mixture an added piquancy :curtain_call: Enjoy your change of "air"....oh and may I remind you there is no hot water, actually there isn't any water.... cheerio:yawn:

Isn't it nice to have your "friendly" Chief Injuneer back again? :p

A lady once asked me if I smoked after sex, I informed her I had no idea as I had never had cause to look. :curtain_call:

Heh Heh Heh. Attaboy Tmac, My aircon vents closed off and Portholes open and kettles on heh heh.
Steward! case of Black Bush for Tmac please. JUst leave it in the control room with my comploments if you please.

I have my punka-walla actively engaged by my open port-hole and have this fresh, spice laden Caribbean breeze circulating in my quarters. Also reclining on my chaise lounge on the monkey-island after sunset with a large triple Cuba Libre in hand is far removed from the mekannashions of those pit-dwellers.

Mind you, if they weren't so obnoxicating we could take the long-boat off the injun room skylight so they could open it and enjoy the benefits of clean air.

OK Tmac -- before you respond just imagine yourself being entertained on the pool deck by some dusky maidens serving an unlimited supply of Black Bush. :pint:

yep, you are talking Tmacs Language there Tom. Dusky Maidens with Black bush right up his street..

I keep peeping out the front door at home, but I've never seen a dusky maiden's black bush up or down my street.

Hang in there John ---- As they say Hope Dies Eternal --- or something like that. :) :)

Closing in on Oranjestad.

Mr. McCloggie -- Please hoist the G flag (Not the G string -- where the hell did you get that anyway??). Rig the pilot ladder. Prepare the lines for a starboard tie at the cruise ship dock.

Strike all sail.

Injun room -- dead slow cog, if you please.