Tmac's cherryometer is a finely tuned organ and is spoken off with awe in his home patch. Hence his nickname as .

Very rare to find a ripe cherry in a Black Bush but very tasty it was as I recall...It was more years ago than I care to remember.

My cherryometer is indeed world renowned and is a object inspiring both shock and awe, in that order when first made ready for operation. Has been known to bring tears to the eyes of those in receipt of its power. :rolleyes::rolleyes:

Some of the scallywags in the Messroom are saying they must be tears of laughter. I myself did not join in the general merriment. Shipmates can oft be very cruel.

I seem to recall, when we visited that naturist beach a few years back. Tmacs party trick was to walk the sandy beach on all fours.....and leave five tracks. I Jest you not my friends.

As I recall that was also the year that Tmac won the Romney Marsh Ploughing & Cultivations Society’s Annual Ploughing Match. The straightest, deepest furrow of them all. :egg:

The fifth track was his tongue hanging out. But the Romney March incident is still being talked about by the locals in between rogering their animals and nieces and nephews. Own up now, who in the crew bought a house in Dymchurch recently? You dirty dog.

It was not so much the straightness and regularity of the furrows, the clincher was the excellence of the openings and closing and the complete burial of all the trash.
This may be a bit technical.
He was also admired for his reversible work, more mechanical but executed with aplomb and panache.

I have both a serviceable plomb and a panche that only needs a bit of WD40. Unfortunately neither of them are metric.

Panache is Urdu for cottage cheese or feta or that wobbly one, but not near as salty.
WD40 may not be metric but it works on metric threads, not as good as on BSF, BSW or the fiddley one used by Lecky. It is ambidextrous and asexual, handy in these testing times.

Leckie usually used grown-up ironmongery. It was Sparkie who used BA (but had, by regulation the tools to go with them. He didn't need a shifter to round off the flats either as a set of small files were mandated for that).

I think for a sexual handy work KY would be more comfortable - it is water based and should NOT be used as easing or protective fluid in the mechanical field. Vaseline would be more ambidextrous.

No more do I want a knowing glance or wink-wink from the plasticos should I walk passed wearing a slight whiff of WD40, especially from one of the pretty ones.

Right next to the railway tracks, too, they can sit in the garden and watch the little engines go past all day long and daydream about steam engines, reciprocating pistons and connecting rods, simple expansion and aromatic exhaust fumes.

Wicked.....:big_tongue:

Do I gauge a rather narrow view of the rails in that area???? :yawn:

I have negotiated for and acquired a miniature steam railway to carry the gravy round the dining tables. Would every one ensure their glasses, esp. those with Gripetini, are kept beyond the reach of the heat and flames from the engine. If you wish to toast your dinner rolls, please arrange a stop with the Fat Controller and ensure you keep the boiler adequately fired whilst it is at your sidings.

In very heavy weather this service may have to be suspended, no-one (that I know of) wants a small steam locomotive down their trousers, and it is strongly frowned upon to use said locomotive to chase ferrets from ones pantaloons.

Your attention to these requests will ensure life continues on it's merry way.

Tea is not not be made with water from the boilers and/or injectors of passing locomotives nor is Scotch to be contaminated therewith. :rolleyes:

Come, come, now, Farmer John. Surely our injuneering department can enable a gimballed arrangement for the boiler, cab, and tender and use magnetic wheels to ensure adhesion to the track. Together with our high tech stabilisers motion should all but be eliminated. So, keep the trains a-coming -- pass the gravy boat, please. :wink::wink:

I don't want to cause any distress to our highly respected and revered (ahem) injuneering department, but some of those steam propelled locomotives were built by a company whose name, when spoken in marine engineering gatherings, causes much mumbling and grumbling, mixed with muttered curses and much mopping of brows at memories of horrible experiences.

I shall try to whisper it quietly, so as not to upset any delicate nerves.


"Davey Paxman." :shock::sweat:

It wasn't us in Harland and Bluff wot made them midget steam injuns, we built full size 'lectric ones that hummmed along without any puffing or weezing from various orifi .... we did try a windy up version but the key was too big and kept falling out.:big_tongue:

Your "friendly" (stop sniggering at the back) Chief Injuneer has designed manufactured and installed a mag-lev system to the injun and rolling stock gravy boats so service in the dining room trough will be available in all weather conditions. A Black Bush branch line has also been installed for the private use of the injuneers.... you have been warned :pint::pint:

Knew him well, broke many an injuneers heart :very_sad::very_sad:

You are friendly you just conceal it under your carapace. Thanks for the mag-lev upgrade. The Black Bush branch line, can we use it to send the good stuff to you?

I think, before anyone gets above themselves, it should be made clear that THIS is the Gravy Train.

Actually I thought we are talking about the gravy boat that is hauled around the dining table on this gravy boat by the gravy train. :yawn:

The GGDWR - Great Golden Dreamer Wardroom Railway!

McC

Now we know why we are going round in circles. A Maglev. No respect for compass safe distances at all.

Wardroom? Are we now a Greyfunnel liner? Or is this another harangue against my occasional Havana?

Well, I think perhaps we should carry on regardless and perhaps head West and spend a couple of lazy days in the San Blas Islands. Then perhaps head through the ditch through the Isthmus of P. and spend some time cruising the ports of the West coast of South America. Then head for the Antipodes (colloquially speaking, of course.) Should be able to find a dry dock somewhere for our Christmas lay-up and by that time, hopefully, we'll have Red back aboard. :ponytail:

No trouble in getting here as it's all down hill on my map.
Getting away might be a bit more expensive on the fuel bill assuming that we cannot steal some enroute.

Wardroom!!!
Perhaps Sir would prefer a cafeteria.

I wouldn't assume that, we have a very low fuel bill. Very low. We have sold quite a bit on as well, so we may be showing a profit.

I want a saloon to eat in, a smokeroom to drink and smoke in and a duty mess to pretend I have been working in.

A cafeteria is far too small. It only makes three cups.

Hear, hear! :thumb:

We must hope that the agent doesn't secure a cargo of iron ore, destination China. It will take as long as it takes to sail to China to dismantle the ice rink and heliochopter workshop and spares store in the forrard hold.

You ambitious bugger, you'll be after my job next.
Tmac we may batten down the Fiddley a driven Manxer is on the prowl, he'll want to blow tubes or something.
McCloggie polish your os handcuffs.

No worries-- we have just bunkered and with our technology we only burn 3 tonnes a day at 30 knots. Plus with our solar conversion kit we can even scrape dilbit off the beach and convert it into aviation gas. :) :)

IF we burn 3 tonnes a day I will be asking very severe questions of the second injuneer. :cloud::cloud: With our tecknol....teckino....teknolo.... patent oily bits 3 tonnes will last for a month at 30 knots. (and that is with the handbrake on !!!)

We don't even make that sort of fuel consumption when Sir William indulges in his water skiing :thumb:

Fiddley has been welded shut for months now, how come you didn't notice? Steer well clear of our Manx type person, he has been known to blow more than just tubes :wink:

Those dinky little tins of three in one oil was the type I was thinking of. When Sir William indulges in his water skiing his mighty flatulence ensures we burn nothing. Too bloody dangerous!

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Have I blotted my copy book again??????

The love that dare not speak it's name?

Some software I used to use a lot had an error mesage (never displayed to me)

"Never was called, it shouldn't have been ".

You must not read to much into my leather lined handcuffs the Plasticos find them less uncomfortable. And its "Suck, honey, suck. Blow follows squeeze, bang and just after bottom dead centre" (apologies to Playboy).

I was trying to write something erudite?? BUT --
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Awe! Come on -- it wasn't that bad was it???