Why are we leaving? Oh well, money to be made I suppose.

As a special surprise for occasions such as this I have been tutoring some of the Plaggy stewards in musical entertainment, so tonight, after their excellent work on the free bar, the BBQ and all other things we will have the Barstewards Band, a gentle little combo, a cross between Wee Willie Harris and Captain Beefheart and his Magic Band, with a smooth vocal reminiscent of Astrud Gilberto. This is to thank the people of San Blas and ensure we are welcome again.

Is Wee Willie Harris a person or a condition? If the latter don't seat him at my table.

You deserve no special treatment, so you probably won't get Wee Willie Harris.

It's the urine that helps with the thickening of the material, hence the sign in the urinals "This is where we get felt".

Feck sake, I struggled to bring my big Lambeg Drum to the party only to find the bloody place in darkness and the bar closed :(

I went for the pulled pork but apparently some bugger called Cameron got there first :angry:

If anybody wants me I'll be in my funnel suite, sulking :o

Reminds me of the time I was in a large drapery store in Old Belshaft (don't ask) and I asked the young lady "Can I get felt here?" she replied "well you can take your chance with the rest of us" :jester:

C'mon out, Tmac, we were all waiting for you and dozed off. This is the place to be cheerfully relaxed, we need you to bang your big skin, the Barstewards Band has a backing for your elemental bashing.

We know you enjoy a sulk, but you also enjoy a hooley.

That's why the Good Lord burnt down the Bank Buildings. A den of iniquity. Can I get felt, indeed.

Just to make sure we can round off the evening on a high note, I have engaged Jock Strapp and his All Elastic Band to "pipe" us back aboard after the Beach do. Night caps on the pool deck on me.:pint:

Mega sh1t Captain, Stan Getz is at the gangway looking for his Missus. Tmac and Herr Strapp have previous, expect fisticuffs and a lack of Queensbury. Me and Capt Morgan will be hiding in the Steering Flat.

No worries mate. Tmac will soo lay him out with a swift shifter blow.

T is beginning to sound like an hourly paid employee. Surely shome mistake.

So, Tom, what are we doing next? I do have to stand watch and I find "carry on" is scarcely sufficient orders, and with the more skittish has been known to cause problems. I will be sorry to sail away from here, but does anyone fancy somewhere more straightforward? A trip to the famous twin jetties of Brest would be a change.

pair of brests always welcome FJ

As previously announced the plan is to traverse the American ditch and cruise the West Coast of South America at our leisure, and then work our way across the Pacific to the Antipodes (to us English blokes) and then do our Christmas annual dry docking, leave taking, etc. in Aus. (Please note that it is now working into summer in the Southern hemisphere, so staying in the warm. (Note to keep Tmac and ES happy so we have the refer units keeping the beer cold.) :thumb::thumb:

Are we nearly there yet?

Relax FJ, ECDIS will take us there. See if you can find an excuse for a crew party mate.

You found your belly button lint remover? (She looks remarkably like that young maiden that was sitting on your lap over on the beach. :hippy:)

Mr. McCloggie -- we will raise the anchor in 4 hours. Heading for the Panama Canal. (Departure time gives us sufficient time for a sobering second draught. :pint: )

sobering second draught!!! excellent idea Tom. I just happen to have a bottle of very old Pussers at hand that should do the trick.
Cheers Skipper!!

An excellent idea, Sir William --- but when I said "Bottoms up" every plastico steward aboard bent over. ;);)

Hmmmm yes the Plasticos are a bit like that. Varley finds it most embarassing.

Indeed V can be a bit prudish at times. I put it down to his Home Counties upbringing and his time spent in Glasgow.


As for myself I was always intrigued to find out if the Plasticos are solid or inflatable? Hopefully inflatable.

Plasticos are inflatable only up to a point :wink: I had one allocated to the injun room but it burst... I went back to the Bosun to complain saying "That went down on me!!" to which he replied "If I'd have known it did that I would have charged you extra" :curtain_call:

Tank yew, I'm here all week :chuckle::chuckle:

I always expect an ambitious engineer to carry a bicycle pump in his locker along with a bicycle puncture repair kit. Ready for all eventualities. Be-Ready.
I,m relieved you're here all week, its a quare while since you put a full week in. Varley mutters "Slacker" under his breath.

Surely, just being an Injuneer is a pineapple of achievement?

Please don't go round bursting my Plasticos, the do serve your drinks and food and now play in the Barstewards band. The one who plays the Oompah is particularly resounding.

Cleared directly through the locks tomorrow, but scheduled to anchor in Gatun Lake until our turn to transit the cut. Shore station transmission indicates the pilot wants to interview the pussers when he gets aboard. When we replied we don't even have one, he said he would bring his own. Good man! :)

Mr. McCloggie -- please have the cutouts rig the necessary winches for the mules. :supercool:

Is Mr Varley a First Tripper?? Tell him he has to feed the mules. Oh how we all will laugh!!!

Mr McCloggie, please make sure the cutouts are provided with safety helmets and body protectors. Those lads on the quaysides of the locks are lethal with their heaving lines. I'm sure they have weighted monkey fists on the end of them.

I think they have ball bearings in them --- I do know they have contests where the idea is to get the monkey's fist through a life ring at a predetermined distance. :shock::shock:

I have heard about the "fist through ring" thing, I had no idea it was competitive. I think I will pass on this.

Will you please stop inflating the plasticos. No one will not know what gauge of brass bound bumstretcher to use if they are overblown.

(SOD IT!! Bring me another smally boy, This one's split).

(Postings erratic. Blowing out in the Smoke - home tomorrow)

I wouldn't feed that one if I were you. By the sound of it rumbling when it does fart it'll not only be the ozone layer that'll suffer.

Varley's in the smoke, The Smoke.
Has Sgt Dixon been informed, and has Lyons Corner House been stocked-up to festival levels.

And have Simpson's and Whites stocked up with vintage product from the Douro?

The nurses in Nobles are in for a treat when our hero arrives with galloping gout.

Believe me, if you have gout you don't gallop. The sensible story is told of a man watching a fly circling round his gouty toe, praying it would not land.

I am still not convinced that my (15 years ago) diagnosis of gout was right. Both knees swelled to the half the size of my abdomen the pain was unbelievable.

Seems that nowadays everything swells immeasurably, except that one thing we would be delighted if it did. :chuckle:

Indeed we all miss Red 17.

Comestibles at club and elsewhere sufficient. Funds not.