Varley, tell them who you are, surely they will waive the bill. Do you want me to speak to them?

A gentleman only settles up for those demands which must absolutely be settled, his Turf Accountant, Commission Agent, and his Wine Merchant. All the rest can be treated with hauteur and distain. I think V excels in such abilities, he has rarely settles his Mess Bill on this ship.

He has extended credit at every bar on this vessel. It extends from here to infinity.:pint:

Don't be bitter, just because I insist you pay for everything in cash. All the Plasticos know you carry a bucket for all the left over drinks.

he has rubber lined pockets so he can get all the left over soup from the galley too......LOL

Rubber pants and cycle clips as well.

We have traversed the Gatun Locks, and are now anchored in Gatun Lake. The pilot is sleeping it off behind the curtain in the wheelhouse berth. The sun is sinking in the West. (Just let her go - too much trouble to launch the rescue boat.) The lights of the surrounding anchored vessels are twinkling in the fading light -------------- which means it's time for another drink. Everyone gather at the bar on the Garden Deck. :pint:

Garden Deck it is then Tom.
Cheers!

Garden deck, fine. Just let any of those pesky mules get in, they'll graze it flat.

Every blade of grass will go, but they will leave plenty of presents. Big turdy shaped presents that are subject to MARPOL. Let them aboard and Farmer J will have a right load of it on his lap. The STP is striggling to hold its own with the permanent crew of loose bowelled buggers, it will give up with tons of mule pats.

Indeed. It is best to keep one's tradesmen and the like in the cleft stick of credit. Providing it is not overdone they are less likely dispense with one's custom if there is a bill or two outstanding.

With clubs it is better members use the black ball than to get them out after joining. A lesson mine has now learned very well.

One of Pa's jokes (perhaps real and even first hand) was a naval officer who paid up his tailor in full. "Oh, Sir, you are not abandoning us for another clothier I hope?".

Is this not the principle adopted big the banks towards their larger clients (No, not those of high avoirdupois (though why having some peas...)).

Nothing to worry about at all --- out here in the lake we are far removed from the mules. I would, however, suggest that skinny dipping in the lake is not recommended due to the possible (probable?) present of crocodiles. :bounce:

And alligators, and hippopotamusses, and rinosorsuses, and camels.

This might be a good place to open a zoo.

Have two on board???

The GD is almost overrun with Bisons. Mixing bison, Lavatory bison, Pudding bison, Wash bison...

I could go on and on, but I prefer to be brief and succinct.

Like - What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison?? A buffalo is a North American animal, and a bison is somefink you wash your fice in in the mornin'. :king:

Hi Guys;

Apologies for my absence.

I have closed up my flat in Kuala Lumpur and gone back to UK for a bit - hopefully not that long - so have been very busy. Arrived home only to find that my bags were in Amsterdam and that I had left the laptop and UK phone in KL!!! Utter confusion!!!!!

Will resume my duties ASAP and update you as required.

McC

We could start a whole new thread about stuff that ends up in a completely different country to its intended destination.

Are you sure that your cutouts wrote the addresses very neatly in block capitals and black ink?

Weighing anchor in 2 hours -- should Mr. McCloggie not be present, perhaps Farmer John would be so kind as to supervise the cutouts in the operation. Entering the Gaillard cut, Mira Flores and Pedro Miguel to berth in Panama city later this afternoon. Then, please gather on the pool deck for Gripetini infused Vichyssoise, Roast beast (choice of buffalo, venison, or boeuf) marinated in well aged Burgundy, and seasonal veg. Cherries Jubilee for dessert on a bed of vanilla ice cream. A variety of cheeses, and Columbia coffee.
----- then off ashore to sample the delights of the town. :pint: :pint:

A variety of cheeses, and Columbia coffee.
----- then off ashore to sample the delights of the town.


Mothers Pride and Dairylea for Tmac and me, a run ashore for a few bottles of Guinness West Indian Porter. Ahh luxury.

Tom, I will of course stand in for McC.

Can I ask if I may eat my cherries standing up, a bed of ice cream does not appeal and must be rather messy.

Some of the cutouts write with a very delicate hand.

No need to weigh the Anchor Tom ...Its got 5 Tonn stamped on it.

time to splice the Main Brace is it?

This ship has more cherries than it ought. I demand a recount.

The cut-outs inform me the anchor weighs very heavy, and it's wet. These lads are very sharp, but a bit prone to complain.

No sign of the Gilly-Gilly Man or the electrician. Varley has set up the Canal Searchlight and is awaiting his lordships arrival. I'm waiting to see the Ladies freak out when the Gilly-Gilly Man starts pulling day old chicks from their cleavage and the fun when Tmac and his two friends buy Spanish Fly from the Bum Boat men. I love the canal.

By all means eat standing up --- but the bed of ice cream is there to cool your ardour so you can save it for shore side later. :hippy:

Wot? Are you having me do heavy lifting E-S? Not sure you're in the right canal, the camel drivers seem to be speaking Spanish and the camels have no humps.

(It's surprisingly cold on the forecastle head and my feet are smelling of vanilla)

The term, " Varley has set up the Canal Searchlight and is awaiting his lordships arrival ", means Varley has supervised the plastic chaps to rig the spotlamp and is awaiting in the Smokeroom. Gentlemen such as V does not do manual labour, he breaks out in a sweat at the thought of it.


I am aware we are not in the MSC but I wish we were. (Hint to Nav O ).

I had a Cherry once....Lost it somewhere!

(been busy the last few days. will get back on track soon though)

A touch of a hangover BB ?????
Suggest full fat milk and a wee drop of Powers or Bushmills.

Nothing better for a hangover than a full fry up breakfast, (bacon, sausage, eggs, beans, tomatoes, black pudding, fried bread doorsteps,) followed by a small snifter of lemonade with a dash of Angostura bitters.

A proper breakfast has never had that effect on me. An 0500 start on the Gordon's, on the other hand....

…….is a glove wrapped around a Tanqueray...……?

My goodness ES, surely you don't mean you would rather be in the open sewer commonly known as the Manchester Ship Canal than the balmy, tropical Panama Canal???

If that is the case, I think we can line you up with a good psychiatrist here in Panama. :quill:

At my age and experience it is a toss off, sorry a toss up between catching crabs from a Scrubber in Elsemere Port or Beri-beri from a dusky maiden from Panama. Advice on a postcard please.

Beri-beri is a dietary imbalance, anything you catch from a dusky maiden is an indescretion, anything caught from a scrubber in Ellesmere Port is a lack of engineering competence.

It appears, lads, that until Red returns in her nursing capacity, that we will have to go back to the time honoured recipe of a wad of cotton waste soaked in paraffin? :(