The Lorry Driver
 

German lorry driver sat in Liverpool bar mouthing off about how lazy the British are...
He says 'I drive my truck from Hamburg to Liverpool via Holland/Belgium over to the UK and up to Liverpool, drop the load off and I'm back to Hamburg in under 2 days.
Drunk old scouse man can't help but hear him and mutters 'Fuck off lad, I used to pick my load up in Liverpool, drop it off in Hamburg and make it back to Liverpool the same day!'
German man, gives a sarcastic laugh and replies 'Oh yeah old man, what rig were you driving?'
Old fella replies 'a Lancaster Bomber!!'

A little mean, Uncle John! But, maybe, true.

A big Maybe.

Most Scousers thought a Strike Force was a mob of militant dockers.

:applause::applause:

A very good friend of mine, sadly recently deceased tells the story of his vacation in Cuba.
He and his wife booked an all-inclusive vacation to a resort in Cuba but only found out when arriving there the resort was owned by a German company and as a result, the majority of guests were from that country.
One evening when entering the dining room for dinner an elderly gentleman confronted him. Englisher he said (he was speaking to a Scot) during the war I was on u-boats sinkling Englisher ships. Nonpulsed Jim responded. That is OK as during the time you were doing that I was dropping bombs on Berlin.Later on he was involved with the "Berlin air lift" and was a guest of the German govermant to celebrete the 50th anniversary.

Same old guy was sitting in a bar reminiscing about his time in the RAF during the battle of Britain.. "We had Fokkers to the right of us and Fokkers to the left of us and most of those Fokkers were Messerschmitts"

True story...honest !!! a colleague of mine was asked by a German visitor if he had ever been to Germany? "no" he replied "but I flew over it at night" :thumb:

I believe that. When I first came down to Cornwall the nearest pub was way out in the wilds and the landlord was ex RAF Bomber Command. One of the oldest pubs in Britain. We get a lot of tourists down this way and I always remember him answering a German visitor's query if he'd ever been to Berlin.
"Only briefly," he politely answered, and left it at that.

Was Bomber Command the outfit disowned by Churchill after the war?

I think he wiggled a bit following the Dresden Raid. Pouring the blame on 'Bomber Harris,' who was to become something of a pariah after the war.

I always remember questioning my Old Man about the scale of the bombing on Germany, which far exceeded the Blitz. My Old Man was ex infantry who shipped out for El Alamein going across North Africa, up through Sicily and Italy before being wounded out.

He thought about my question for a minute, then shrugged his shoulders and replied: "They started it."

At an international meeting that I attended in London, another delegate was, a director of Debeg, a German marine radio supplier. During a coffee break there was discussion about the provision for the delegates' wives of a conducted tour of St Paul's cathedral, which included access to the top of the dome. The question was asked of whether any of the delegates had themselves ever been to the top of the cathedral.

Herr Schachtsneider said that he had never climbed up there but he had been 5,000 metres above it. He was an ex-Luftwaffe bomber crew-member.

Allegedly a Douglas Bader story....

courtesy of the Alan Clark Diaries...

Bader was giving a talk during assembly at a posh girl's school, and was recounting one of the many dogfights in which he was shot down....

"I had two f*ckers to the left of me, two fuckers to the right, another two f*ckers below, and one f*cker coming in from the sun"

At this point the headmistress interjected "I must inform you girls that there is a type of aircraft called a fokker spelled f-o-k-k-e-r"

"I don't know about that", said Bader, "this lot were all flying Messerschmitts"

The Lorry Driver
 

Yes i understand this story and i find it werry fonny 3 stars from my :supercool:

I heard that as the speaker being a gallant from our Polish allies (and which of them is not that?).

Errm. Very few if any Fokkers in WWII. Lot's of Willy's products however.

When I was involved in establishing a production facility for substation equipment in Veracruz, the senior staff was about 50/50 Argentine/Italian and me, in the middle, as a Brit. I got along very well with the Italians, but the Argentines are another story......

Recently arrived was Lujan, an Argentine with no particular value as as "engineer" or anything else!. He had been assigned to us on a project on the Mexican Pacific Coast, where he was famous for having done nothing, acquired a mistress, a VW Beetle and then eating virtually nothing/spending nothing ("Che, I don't have my wallet - could you pay for me!"): It was to pay for the car/ mistress etc. One day he didn't show up for work: turns out that the night before, he drove his car into a 3M wide channel dug for the installation of a major drain system.........!

Anyway, in Veracruz, I had to go to the production facility (I was head of engineering) and I asked for a Pick-Up. I was given the keys and, after starting it, I checked my mirrors and rear window to reverse out.

I spotted Lujan coming behind me, so I waited, checked my mirrors, rear window, front windows - He had disappeared.

I put the truck into reverse, and then there was a furious banging on the tailgate. I stopped, applying the parking brake and switched the engine off.

When I disembarked, there was Lujan behind the Pick-Up........."Che!, you tried to kill me!", he said.

"What?" , said I.

"I was tying my shoelace behind the truck when you started reversing!!" remonstrated Lujan.

My immediate retort:

"Oh! What a shame! I would have got a medal a few years back for killing an Argie!!!"

The end result was that the Argentinean gang did not speak to me for about two weeks! What a shame! The Italians were quite amused!

Rgds,
Dave

Some of us are renowned for tact and diplomacy Dave. :curtain_call::wave:

EVH.

Not by the end I suppose but the following from Wiki suggest that that was not because their fatigue lifetime had expired.

The Fw 190 Würger (Shrike/butcher-bird), designed from 1938 on, and produced in quantity from early 1941–1945, was a mainstay single-seat fighter for the Luftwaffe during World War II.

Probably.

He was non to PC with his doggie.

According to my Great Uncle, who had dealings with him professionally at Shell Petroleum, he had some very admirable qualities, but many more that were less so.

I think you`re thinking of Guy Gibson.

Douglas Bader worked for Shell Aviation after the War. I worked with a Dambuster Pilot - David Shannon - who had also worked for Shell Aviation after the war and who was friendly with Douglas Bader. We often had phone calls in the office asking for David from DB and I think they frequently met up at one of the clubs in London.

Guy Gibson, of course, was killed towards the end of the war so didn't work for Shell, although I have read that he could be very acerbic, especially to those less senior to him.

Howard

But don't doggies' lives matter too?

What a gentlemanly way of correcting me. You are of course correct but I suppose they had many similar personality traits; driven, single minded, obsessive and in the WW2 RAF, scheming.

It`s only cos I`m new here. :angel: