I wonder if statuettes of Napoleon still figure in the 'foreign body' annals of A&E.

Pa got a tour of a medical museum by Uncle Bruv and discovered a common object used for self gratification in the lonely lady were statuettes of Napoleon with the consequential occasional 'retention'.

He did not mention if the same was true of the lonely gentleman when 'in' for the 'other side'. Perhaps in those days everyone batted for the right side.

It all depends on whether or not they were on sticky wicket, or perhaps a proper turner. Nothing worse than a wrong'un coming at you sharply out of the rough, bouncing off a short leg and getting caught in the slips.

Indeed. I did wonder whether I should have said 'fielded'.

You definitely should. We now know you are a Player rather than a Gentleman. A bit of a shock for some but I always had my suspicions. "Lord V" indeed.

You dare do me down? I have never smoked cigarettes (that means not habitually rather than never had a fag) Balkan first then Havana (and not them Balkan fags either).