I am steering clear of Red-17 because she has already threatened me. For some reason she is convinced that it was me who was responsible for the 17 x 500 ml jars of Marmite that went over the port rail at 2314 last Monday. She is unaware, as yet, of the half jar that disappeared at the same time.
I am not guilty, of course, as I was on watch in the ER at the time............

Laughing so much I think I may have wet myself. Think the joke is on me.

Hang on?? If she jabbed you in the bottom what has that got to do with not being able to use your hand? :mad:

That's the half jar that went into Varley's mash. Shame on you Varley. I expected better from a senior member. Remember 1925??? No peanut allergies.

I think you lot are ganging up on me and taking the mickey.: mad: And to think that I stayed up tonight to be able to join in the conversation. Where is Pat when I need her and Tmac and Skipper Tom.

I thought that you were on my side billy boy? You are no better than Sir William! I am going back to England's Got Talent. Humph! ( These smilies just do not give me what I need at moments like this.) thank god for Grande Marnier!

Looks like there is only the two of us on watch at the moment.
I hope that we are on course and not making too much smoke especially from the second funnel where Pat's chooks are roasting nicely.

:eek:No! How could you?

The ones in my arm were innoculations. the ones in my butt were for an infection i picked up ashore. (as they say in the Navy "I caught the boat up").

You won't tell her that it was me will you, pleeeaaasssee?

Grande Marnier eh! I'll join you for a nightcap before i do my deckhead inspection (turn in for the night)
Been a long hot day here.
Cheers!

I'm sorry, I seem to have lost the plot a little.

Now, what do you want me to do with the sharp end of a Polish Submarine, Sir William?

Tom, the Stainless Steel bar has been rigged and is stocked and manned.

Who has been shaving the Golden Rivet (strictly Tmac's Purlieu) and paying for some peanut butter with it?

Why is my hand so numb, I haven't... erm... for ages.

Steward, a Marmite and Banana Sandwich please, and emulate the crocodile.

I had to pay for the Vegemite with something.....

Just about to put the ER on auto pilot and turn in. Leaving the bridge to Red.

Cancel turning in; the YMs just tells me there is a St Trinians episode on Foxtel

Oh? this is just too much for me I am going to bed. Your right, I think that St Tinian's has just taken over!

Foolish of me, but I thought that there were some sensible crew on board the GD.

ER ?????? Please explain?

Just curious why a beautiful young lady would want to dance with a crusty old injuneer? especially one whose trust she finds somewhat suspect :confused:

I have been in the injun room working as usual making sure we get to where we are going and all on board systems are A1 at LLoyds :cool:

No need to thank me that is what injuneers do :rolleyes:

We DO NOT make smoke.... EVER my injuns are finely tuned machines and operate at maximum efficiency at all times.

Incidentally whoever had the "bright" idea to roast Pat's chickens in my second funnel suite had better remove them toot sweet otherwise I shall be forced to insert copious amounts of chicken nuggets into the culprits stern gland :mad: you have been warned !!!! :mad:

Engine Room aka the black pit where we are UMS anyhoo, well most of the time.

Oh dear just realised....before you ask....UMS = Unmanned Machinery Space :rolleyes:

Just been catching up with events after some seriously long perusal of a magazine I found under the deck boards in my cabin. It was a most fascinating collection of art studies of nubile young females demonstrating some interesting yoga positions. :eek:

I see that the peanut butter situation hasn't been resolved completely. I enjoyed it in my younger days, but it always seemed to retard the natural digestive processes, so small doses of castor oil would have to be imbibed to help internal lubrication. Because of this, I discovered that stern tube grease has the same consistency as peanut butter, and is sometimes vegetable based in composition, thus having no detrimental effect on the human food processing equipment. i.e, It won't kill you, and it won't hang around very long.

For those of the crew who prefer something less savoury than Vegemite and Marmite, I have hung several long sticky fly catching papers up around the midships accommodation. When I have caught enough flies, I shall take them down to the Galley so that they can be baked into some faux Garibaldi biscuits. I find that normal houseflies can be a bit chewy, so I am hoping to catch some nice juicy bluebottles.:D

There may be other members of the crew who can claim Aussie heritage. I know of one, personally. Never been there myself though. :rolleyes:

I love a challenge Tmac. :) Why else would I be on the GD.;)

I have a whole heap of relatives who live in Australia (They're Australians, put simply), but I don't think that works back osmotically to me...does it?

Just been checking in the Galley fridge and cold store. I was going to order stuff but nowhere to put it. its all stacked out with Anchovys.
Red-17. Please detail off the cutouts to clear away at least 50% of the anchovys to make space for fresh meat and fish please. The pantry store needs a good clear out too.
You look good in your white shirt and shorts. Can see your underwear through them.O know why they call you Red now ha ha

Sadly no Farmer John, but the family here could adopt you and then you could become an Australian, you would, off course, have to pass the vegemite test first.:)

I was just checking Tmac because ER means something different to a nurse and thanks for explaining UMS, I would never have got that one. Very thoughtful of you.:)

Should have made myself clearer. The smoke was from the roasting chooks not your engines which I realise would only make invisible nuclear smoke.

The roasted chickens will be gone by lunch time today. What's for dinner tonight?