Sounds bizarre this I know but I saw a party of ramblers yesterday, being led by a man on stilts, wearing a crown & barking orders.

When I asked who he was they replied, “He's our high king coach.

.... and I thought I could match this !!!!

(Dream on Bob.) :chuckle:

I vote to lobotomize Mr. Stringer! He really has reached depths that no other human can! But, then again, he is a Sparkie - Maybe he isn't human? Most Sparkies weren't, I am sure they were infiltrated by the Men in Black!

Tee-Hee!
Dave

Or too many Volts and Jolts Dave.:cloud::brain:

Yes, U. John. The electricians that would check for current using their fingers on two bare wires!
Rgds.
Dave

But the old bare fingers job never fails to detect .... (well, for the first time anyway.) :eek:

It is usually ascribed to morse code. It can't be bare finger detection, until one graduates to electrician the voltages risked are too low. Anyway it can't be that either as there's nothing wrong with MEeeeeeeeeeeee!

Came across a street fight in town last night when suddenly, a low loader lorry arrived at the scene with a small group of trees on the back.

I thought, “Eh up, someone must have called the copse.”

Retires to study. There will be the sound of a hammer being pulled back on a .357 magnum. Followed by a shistol pot ... I mean a postol sh1t ... I mean a shostil pit.

Ahhh sod it I didn't want to do it anyway.

There will be the sound of a beer can opening instead .. (close enough for government work.):pint:

My daft mate plays in a brass band and heard that toothpaste is good for cleaning the instruments.

He phoned me and said “Ron, do you know where I can get a decent tuba toothpaste from?”

My mates’s not had much luck this week & everything he touches seems to go wrong.
Yesterday he paid a joiner up front to make a king-sized bed and he's gone and done a bunk.

He said, “Honestly, it's just one thing on top of another.”

Jesus lads, are youse making these up or stealing them from the Bob Monkhouse book of shitty jokes.

Delete Bob Monkhouse and insert Dave Allen, negative Catholic Priest.

Some sound just like Tommy Cooper. Not like that, like that, Hahhaaha......

At the Olympics, Greece entered some canoeists in the slalom event. One of them accidently overturned and lost his paddle. He struggled upright, shook the water out of his ears, and was encouraged to carry on using his hands when he heard the crowd chanting,


"Up the Greek without a paddle....."

Alternatives…
https://youtu.be/xt0V0_1MS0Q

Note - Mods: This I found on a Youtube video of non-PC advertisments from the past. If you think it is unsuitable, please take it down. It not only evoked a titter and a snigger from me, but also various guffaws:

Rgds.
Dave

Bring on the Kippers.

It's not You-Tubing for me. But I'll take advice and stop using Lifebuoy in/on my mimsy, which I think is near my, near my.......... What do you mean I'm disqualified? I have declared that I have a mimsy and therefore I have one , just ask that Mordaunt chap.

I just re-read it and had a belly laugh! Sorry if anyone thinks that it is over the top.............WOKE ALERT!
Rgds.
Dave

Dave did you read the captions under the small photos.

Yesterday I was driving down a lane near here when my car was suddenly covered in sour cream and chives. What a mess!

I must have missed the sign for a hidden dip in the road.

I just cannot make them out, but they appear to be rude too!

I googled the soap and got clearer images!!!!!

You were looking for Non-PC soap adverts?
They don't get much more outrageous than this.
I suspect it was even 'frowned upon' at the time.

David, I enlarged the photo YOU POSTED and I was shocked to the bone.
Go and and wash your mouth out with Lux and then sit in the corner.:jester::king: