Comfortable Bed by Ida Down,
20 years in the Saddle by Major Bumsore. :)

Quote[ The injuneering department should not have to rely on the deck department advising to connect Tmac's posterior orifice] Quote.


The Injuneering Department knows nuttin abart Tmac's posterior orifice, once again we bow to the Deckies superior knowledge.
( ps, what is a superior orifice and do we all have one?)

It depends upon which one you use for intelligent intercourse E-S.

Those of us with Morse can manage rudimentary conversations with both, the ladies of the key sometimes in stereo.

Varley, Old Chap, the Smokeroom would be astounded if you had more than two words per minute.
Morse is like the Sharples Super Centrifuge or the Walkers Patent Log, just get over it.

I agree. A more musical usage would be more entertaining but my only instrument is the CD player where the problem of white noise is all but eliminated. The virtuoso, whether of lower lieder or biopneumatic Morse, has to overcome interference of a different hue.

(For the hell of it: https://monologues.co.uk/Anonymous/Farting_Contest.htm)

I think this is as close as one can come to intelligent intercourse:-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkfwmB8jeSU

:) :)

Young, Gifted and Black.

I know Tmac likes to run the engine room manned but really you can't have all three of the new guys on watch with you.

(You haven't made a mistake on the manifest have you? Gifted is my middle name.)

We have just signed on Old, Careless and Grey. They will be working with the other three sign-ons in a synergistic way.

Can somebody update me on the GD location please?


Equipment now returned - well most of it - courtesy of DHL who still have an iPad and have relieved me of a couple of hundred quid in customs duty! I had to pay and if I want my money back, need to apply to customs and prove that I am not importing new goods to the EEC!!! FFS!!!

Whatever, we learn.

I hope GD is somewhere nice as I need to relax with several large drinks and some suitable company!

Let me know and I will re-join in an instant.

McC

I knew her a long time ago, she was very proud of her lovely Black Bush as I recall :thumb:

Injun room crew :-

Me = Boss
Squeek = Thinks he's boss
Eric = Doesn't give a sh1t who's the boss
ES = When he has nothing better to do

Supernummery = Sir William when he feels nostalgic and craves the smell of HFO in the mornings.

We are either here or somewhere else, us injuneers never know where the hell we are :confused:..... left hand down a bit :huh:

Although the Chief's directions are logical, I would advise leaving your current place of residence early one morning and then, keeping the sun on your left hand,(don't touch it, unless you have thermonuclear rated oven gloves,) head South. When the Sun is directly overhead, keep heading in the same direction and observe the sun setting on your right hand side in the evening. When you reach the Equator, (there should be a signpost somewhere informing you that you are about to leave the Northern Hemisphere,) turn right. Then by keeping the Sun behind you at daybreak, and keeping a straight course so that it sets ahead of you in the evening, you will eventually come to an Ocean. Start swimming. Keep heading West until you hear the unmistakeable sounds of a Steel Band. You are now in the West Indies. Bear left, head for a canal, and thumb a lift. When you exit the canal, look for a dried ketchup stain that Tom mentioned being on the chart. We are somewhere in the vicinity.


Navigation? Easy peasy……….

Just don your ruby slippers and click them, you will be back in your old cabin. We have tidied it up a bit, I hope you like Floribunda Roses on your wall paper (if you don't we will sort it out).

Thanks DS. Right - I'll be as quick as I can then!

I think the ruby slippers seem a bit easier - either that or I'll speak to my mate Harry and try to apperate.

The wall paper can wait until I give it the once over.

McC

[QUOTE=Tmac1720;19578]Injun room crew :-

Me = Boss
Squeek = Thinks he's boss
Eric = Doesn't give a sh1t who's the boss
ES = When he has nothing better to do
QUOTE]



This man has been smoking something stronger than Gallagher Blues. I don't mind him thinking he is Chief but he is now believing it and those two hamsters are aiding and abetting him for their own simian means. Bloody marsupials.
Some lovely rabbit dishes on MasterChef last evening, Eric better watch out or his little squeeky bum will be introduced to Sage & Onion. Yum-Yum.

Is that Harry Houdunnit?? Maybe he can re-apperate after. By all means join us on the pool deck for horses ovaries and very large double gin fizz Rickies. :pint:

Sod it. I accidentally messaged the pilot to rendezvous at the curry stain. Must be about a linguini and a half from the ketchup stain.

Very close to the third diced carrot.


This chart is a Bio-Hazard, get the Flit Gun out and give the chart a couple of pumps. If you boiled the chart you could have a pot of hearty stew.

You leave our chart alone ----- you might have a hearty stew, but then we would be able to see where we are going, and that would be no fun at all. :supercool:

Also be warned that Tmac is not just the boss of the injun room, but the King of all he surveys down there. In his injuneering eminence he has the rights to the freedom of the Funnel Suite, and wields the Golden Shifter with impunity.

Who is this impunity chap?


McC

We could use my GPS as a sort of stock cube, I suppose.
Impunity is the brother of Impudence. If those two get hold of the Golden Shifter...

I just hate to think what the Golden Shifter may be used on!

McC

Are not all shifters (golden or greasy) used on NUTS.

Excuse moi !!! but my nuts are certainly NOT greasy or indeed covered in any other nefarious substance. Admittedly my nuts remain unwashed because even as an injuneer of my considerable ability I have yet to find a method of extracting them from the bag in which they reside. The bag is frequently laundered but alas the nuts within remain inaccessible.

Point of information the Golden Shifter is exclusively for use on the Golden Rivet however any necessary chastisement or correcting of the error of the ways is carried out by my 7llb pound lump hammer liberally applied to the requisite areas.

What are you after? or what have you broken? you silver tongued devil :smoking:

It cum away in his hand, Chief.

Priming the pump again, Eh? (The correct term is "It come orf in my 'and, sur!") :smoking:

Surely "It wisnae done on my watch, Chief, it's how the 4 to 8 left it"

That Oxo cube is some vintage, the chart says "First surveyed by HMS Sparrow in eighteen oh burnhole"

Doing Willie and the Hand Jive again?

Ah, eighteen oh burnhole, a very good year for soup.

But Chief!...I was only cleaning it and it went off....Honest!

I didn't do it - it just happened!

Thought we should head down the coast a bit to Lima, Peru. Here's an excerpt from one of their tourist sites which the crew might find enticing:

However, let's make some clarifications, since the label "night club" may be a bit confusing here in Lima; actually, most places that define themselves as "night clubs" in Lima are in fact bordellos in disguise. We are aware of the fact that adult fun businesses have a great demand nowadays, but to avoid confusions or misunderstandings they are not to be listed here, but under "burlesque" or other similar category.

All those not interested take one step back. :supercool: :jump: :king:

Tom, the Port Chaplin is not best pleased with your Post. He says you are exploiting a vulnerable ethnic minority. A touch of humble pie could be in order.
Our esteemed shipmate Tmac believes, If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried, so your best tactic is to blame Tmac for hacking into your account. Result.

I thought a Port Chaplain (or as our American shipmates would have it, the left footer) would be more interested in bells and smells rather than belles and smalls.

It is the Starboard Skypilot that you have to watch out for. He's on the lookout to grill any wee free soul aboard if they try 'Burlesque' on Sundays. Pie instead of tart, however, is acceptable providing not cooked on the sabbath.

Ah, the benefit of a Glasgow education.

Bordelo?..that a surf board you pedal?