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Search took 0.10 seconds. Search: Posts Made By: Ron Stringer
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 28th December 2022, 10:22
Replies: 1,844
Views: 872,592
Posted By Ron Stringer
My mate had his luggage stolen on the way back...

My mate had his luggage stolen on the way back from holiday. When it was found the thieves had left just the handle and wheels.

He took them to the Police but they said they wouldn’t be pursuing...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 23rd December 2022, 10:56
Replies: 1,844
Views: 872,592
Posted By Ron Stringer
Monday - Greg Tuesday - Ian Wednesday...

Monday - Greg

Tuesday - Ian

Wednesday -Greg

Thursday - Ian

Friday - Greg
Forum: Royal Navy 22nd December 2022, 18:02
Replies: 10
Views: 6,089
Posted By Ron Stringer
Privatisation has worked so well by enhancing the...

Privatisation has worked so well by enhancing the performance of the country's railways and the utilities (water, gas, electricity) that it is now time to outsource our military operations and bring...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 22nd December 2022, 00:16
Replies: 1,844
Views: 872,592
Posted By Ron Stringer
Try saying it in a sexy French accent ......

Try saying it in a sexy French accent ......
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 21st December 2022, 10:14
Replies: 1,844
Views: 872,592
Posted By Ron Stringer
My mate is delighted that his wife is so naïve. ...

My mate is delighted that his wife is so naïve.

He’s told her that the reason it's called Boxing Day is that men don't have to come home from the pub until they’ve had twelve rounds…….
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 20th December 2022, 10:09
Replies: 1,844
Views: 872,592
Posted By Ron Stringer
Apparently one of the sayings of the French Navy...

Apparently one of the sayings of the French Navy translates into English as "To the water, it is time"

In French it's…….."A l'eau, c'est l'heure"
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 17th December 2022, 10:43
Replies: 1,844
Views: 872,592
Posted By Ron Stringer
My mate, who’s a footballer, went on an exclusive...

My mate, who’s a footballer, went on an exclusive Sailing holiday round the Caribbean. On his first night at sea he tripped over & damaged his leg.

The Doctor performed a scan & told him the worst...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 16th December 2022, 20:56
Replies: 1,844
Views: 872,592
Posted By Ron Stringer
You'll just have to learn to accept lower...

You'll just have to learn to accept lower standards now that you're ashore.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 16th December 2022, 20:53
Replies: 1,844
Views: 872,592
Posted By Ron Stringer
Just curious…….. If ex TV Celeb, Isla St Clair...

Just curious…….. If ex TV Celeb, Isla St Clair had married Barry White, presumably she’d be Isla White?

And if, when Barry White died, she remarried the lead singer of Roxy Music, would she be...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 16th December 2022, 10:31
Replies: 1,844
Views: 872,592
Posted By Ron Stringer
My pal’s neighbours, Tom and Lisa Hall, came...

My pal’s neighbours, Tom and Lisa Hall, came round for a pre-Christmas drink. They’re always quite argumentative especially after a lot to drink.

As expected, a fight broke out and to defend...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 13th December 2022, 10:15
Replies: 1,844
Views: 872,592
Posted By Ron Stringer
I told this kid in my street to ask his Dad if he...

I told this kid in my street to ask his Dad if he wanted my old sofa and chairs.

He told me he wasn't allowed to accept suites from strangers
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 10th December 2022, 10:02
Replies: 1,844
Views: 872,592
Posted By Ron Stringer
When my mate woke up this morning, his wife had...

When my mate woke up this morning, his wife had him in a head lock.

He said “I think she had a wrestler’s night.”
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 6th December 2022, 09:52
Replies: 1,844
Views: 872,592
Posted By Ron Stringer
My pal’s wife came home with four cases of beer,...

My pal’s wife came home with four cases of beer, three boxes of wine, two bottles of
whisky and two loaves of bread.

"Are we expecting guests?" he asked.

"No," she replied.

"Then why did...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 2nd December 2022, 10:27
Replies: 1,844
Views: 872,592
Posted By Ron Stringer
A South American fern has been found that can...

A South American fern has been found that can cure constipation.

A medical spokesman said “With fronds like these, who needs enemas.”


And seeing as it’s Friday……

Just read a great...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 29th November 2022, 12:09
Replies: 1,844
Views: 872,592
Posted By Ron Stringer
Armed Police in Manchester were called out...

Armed Police in Manchester were called out yesterday, when a man attempted a robbery by silently showing a pencil sketch of a firearm.

A police spokesman said, "Thankfully we have the suspect in...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 28th November 2022, 09:13
Replies: 1,844
Views: 872,592
Posted By Ron Stringer
My Spanish mate got a black Friday deal this...

My Spanish mate got a black Friday deal this weekend on his new dentures.

Basically it was tooth for Juan.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 25th November 2022, 10:07
Replies: 1,844
Views: 872,592
Posted By Ron Stringer
A thought for today The guy who invented...

A thought for today

The guy who invented queuing wouldn't have been as successful if we hadn't got behind him.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 25th November 2022, 09:05
Replies: 1,844
Views: 872,592
Posted By Ron Stringer
To be or not to be a horse rider, that is...

To be or not to be a horse rider, that is equestrian.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 23rd November 2022, 13:53
Replies: 1,844
Views: 872,592
Posted By Ron Stringer
My friend keeps trying to outwit me by using bird...

My friend keeps trying to outwit me by using bird puns.

Well toucan play at that game
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 21st November 2022, 11:35
Replies: 1,844
Views: 872,592
Posted By Ron Stringer
Ring any bells?

Ring any bells?
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 11th November 2022, 10:05
Replies: 1,844
Views: 872,592
Posted By Ron Stringer
The Annual Hecklers Anonymous Christmas meeting...

The Annual Hecklers Anonymous Christmas meeting is on 10th December @ 7pm.

Bring your own boos.
Forum: Stormy Weather 28th October 2022, 12:03
Replies: 14
Views: 6,740
Posted By Ron Stringer
My great-grandfather's family were Protestants...

My great-grandfather's family were Protestants from South Armagh (somewhat endangered species in recent times) but his sons seemed rather more secular, more likely to worship the British Army than...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 27th October 2022, 14:11
Replies: 1,844
Views: 872,592
Posted By Ron Stringer
His Doctor told my daft mate that he was...

His Doctor told my daft mate that he was suffering from insomnia.

He asked "Is it serious Doc?”

The Doctor said "There's no need for alarm!”
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 26th October 2022, 09:22
Replies: 1,844
Views: 872,592
Posted By Ron Stringer
My mate Philip went to a fancy dress party last...

My mate Philip went to a fancy dress party last night dressed as a screwdriver.

Excitedly he said, “I can tell you, I turned a few heads!”
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 26th October 2022, 09:22
Replies: 532
Views: 225,014
Posted By Ron Stringer
A thought for the day. Solar power is the way...

A thought for the day. Solar power is the way forward. However, it won't happen overnight.
Showing results 1 to 25 of 240
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