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Forum: The Pig & Whistle 27th February 2021, 09:16
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
Do you wan that measurement in London buses or...

Do you wan that measurement in London buses or Blue Whales?. Both seem to be valid measurement systems.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 7th January 2021, 21:51
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
Bob, I hate to break into your fantasy but small...

Bob, I hate to break into your fantasy but small ropes such as those to moor a dinghy are not woven. As an alternative to your ending you could have the man explaining to the woman how to make rope...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 19th September 2020, 18:01
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
!960s, Kenneth Horne, and I bet he didn't make...

!960s, Kenneth Horne, and I bet he didn't make them up. I have a vision of humorists subtly edging Chekov towards a career as a writer, then fighting when he was first published to be the first to...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 3rd September 2020, 22:12
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
Bob, I can see my wife and my daughters all doing...

Bob, I can see my wife and my daughters all doing that. Eldest daughter went to shop, told she had to take clothes hangers and that the clothes had to be packed in their bags. She left with the...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 25th April 2020, 22:08
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
Bob, in these difficult times you might curtail...

Bob, in these difficult times you might curtail your testing of the Groan-o-meter.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 10th August 2019, 16:41
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
Electricity? No, power.

Electricity? No, power.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 10th August 2019, 15:17
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
Never mind North Cornwall parts of Yorkshire lost...

Never mind North Cornwall parts of Yorkshire lost power !

Not me.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 8th August 2019, 14:11
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
It would be interesting to build a recording...

It would be interesting to build a recording meter, you could run it alongside a barograph and attempt to see if there is any correlation between humour and atmospheric pressure. I have long felt...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 20th July 2019, 22:29
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
Bob, only because you only know good jokes now. ...

Bob, only because you only know good jokes now.

(Sniggers into hand)
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 25th June 2019, 22:38
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
I can refute this, I bought myself, my wife and...

I can refute this, I bought myself, my wife and my two daughters a Kindle apiece for Christmas. They didn't even say thank you.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 22nd June 2019, 22:45
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
Makko,...

Makko, https://www.google.com/search?q=devil+in+disguise&rlz=1C1CHBF_enGB763GB763&oq=devil+in+disguise&aqs=chrome..69i57.7430j0j8&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 21st April 2019, 21:38
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
It'll get worse, mark my words.

It'll get worse, mark my words.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 14th March 2019, 21:57
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
I went to value a house, I was the tape holder...

I went to value a house, I was the tape holder and scribe.

"Main room, 12' 6""

Elderly owner "Doctors saved my life"

"Really? 10' 3""

"Yes saved my life"
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 13th March 2019, 20:51
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
You'll get your coat? You will get it handed to...

You'll get your coat? You will get it handed to you for that.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 14th February 2019, 15:59
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
There is something about a cassette, I bought...

There is something about a cassette, I bought some about 2 years ago, which is silly because I didn't really mean to use them and I have a digital sound recorder that you can plug anything into and...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 25th November 2018, 17:59
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
You don't want to see what others have done to...

You don't want to see what others have done to that little elf...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 25th November 2018, 13:43
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
You hear the phrase "suicide by cop". Same sort...

You hear the phrase "suicide by cop". Same sort of idea.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 18th November 2018, 10:05
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
If you build it, they will come.

If you build it, they will come.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 2nd September 2018, 13:25
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
I spent 10 seconds trying to make sense of the...

I spent 10 seconds trying to make sense of the first part before I looked at the second part.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 18th June 2018, 17:18
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
Damn, Tmac, I was going to say that.

Damn, Tmac, I was going to say that.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 3rd June 2018, 10:14
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
I must say I like it very much without. Many of...

I must say I like it very much without. Many of us are approaching that age, and it does make you consider.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 2nd June 2018, 21:52
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
Please be careful.

Please be careful.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 16th May 2018, 22:38
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
I agree with you Bob. Shouting with glee...

I agree with you Bob.
Shouting with glee "facebook here we come" or some such phrase is a bad attitude to your neighbours, but it does seem a common thought.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 15th May 2018, 16:33
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
Confusing people.

Make a 3 cornered duvet, a fairly heavy weight one, tie a knot into it (loosely) and put
it onto a cover that is bigger than the quilt, then you tell someone
to sort it out while you go and answer...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 10th May 2018, 09:37
Replies: 1,837
Views: 602,270
Posted By Farmer John
That Edgar Allen Poe, he knicked stuff from...

That Edgar Allen Poe, he knicked stuff from anyone.
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