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Forum: The Pig & Whistle 7th March 2024, 11:53
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
RAF humour can be somewhat unconventional. A...

RAF humour can be somewhat unconventional. A Shackleton based at Changi in 1970/1971and the subject of an Airfix kit, was decorated so that to any interested observer it was flying on behalf of...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 29th February 2024, 12:17
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
He's the vampire who only appears on Mondays.

He's the vampire who only appears on Mondays.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 20th February 2024, 19:53
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
"Everything you were ever afraid of......." ...

"Everything you were ever afraid of......."

So they give it a "15" Certificate.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 19th February 2024, 23:13
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
The only bar code I understood was you can't...

The only bar code I understood was you can't stand at the bar unless you have a drink.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 27th January 2024, 12:42
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
Two chaps left a traditional East End of London...

Two chaps left a traditional East End of London Fish and Chipshop. One said,"My fish tastes funny." The other replied, "No wonder, it's wrapped in the cartoon page."

Boom-boom.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 25th January 2024, 20:43
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
Further to my earlier post, here are some more...

Further to my earlier post, here are some more names of settlements near the two previously mentioned in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. They are all in or near an area populated mostly by Amish...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 22nd January 2024, 13:51
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
There is a place in Pennsylvania named Bird in...

There is a place in Pennsylvania named Bird in Hand, and another named Virginville.

Never saw any there though.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 13th January 2024, 23:37
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
I never worked out why a fireman on the railway...

I never worked out why a fireman on the railway or at sea kept a fire going, but a fireman on the land put fires out.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 10th November 2023, 11:17
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
I was taught to use standard measurements such as...

I was taught to use standard measurements such as a "Gnat's Whisker," and use the end of your thumb to represent one and a half inches. Another "Rule of Thumb" that always guaranteed precise results...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 20th July 2023, 20:55
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
There is definitely a Climate Emergency. My...

There is definitely a Climate Emergency.

My barometer fell all the way down last night.

I have ordered a stronger hook to hang it on.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 20th July 2023, 20:54
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
I have one of those John. Very useful for...

I have one of those John. Very useful for catching drips from the roof in the garden shed! Also, when I was selling industrial chemicals I was asked to visit a potential customer looking for a better...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 18th July 2023, 19:25
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
Were the criminals on day release from the prison...

Were the criminals on day release from the prison up the road?
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 16th July 2023, 19:51
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
Or "Shank's Pony", my Dad always said. (Or was it...

Or "Shank's Pony", my Dad always said. (Or was it "Shanks's Pony?)
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 15th July 2023, 15:48
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
All aviators must remember the golden rule. ...

All aviators must remember the golden rule.

Take-offs are optional. Landings are compulsory.

And if you don't think that the whirly thing at the front isn't just a fan to keep the pilot cool,...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 3rd May 2023, 11:43
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
Very good!

Very good!
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 26th March 2023, 14:31
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
[QUOTE=Varley;50914]Much to my guests annoyance...

[QUOTE=Varley;50914]Much to my guests annoyance all but the too-clever-by-half wireless clocks remain on GMT. Proper house time would be GMT less 14 minutes or thereabouts. To be that horologically...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 29th January 2023, 09:27
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
Or football fields, if the swimming pool is...

Or football fields, if the swimming pool is closed. Another scientific measuring device consists of London buses and one of Queen Mary's funnels.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 28th January 2023, 22:19
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
"An asteroid the size of a truck missed the...

"An asteroid the size of a truck missed the Earth."

It wasn't another delivery by Evri was it?
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 21st January 2023, 11:39
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
You also know you're old when recycling means...

You also know you're old when recycling means "Didn't we pedal up this road an hour go?"

And also when your computer screen doesn't display the letters you typed in the same ordre yuo tyepd tehm.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 27th December 2022, 15:04
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
A burglar was stopped late one night outside the...

A burglar was stopped late one night outside the British Museum in London by a policeman. (This was in the days when they actually arrested burglars!) The burglar was carrying some ancient artifacts...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 22nd December 2022, 00:45
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
And "a falling tide reveals who was swimming...

And "a falling tide reveals who was swimming naked."

Something I heard during the Bernie Madoff scandal.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 28th November 2022, 11:06
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
A surgeon liked to stop in a cocktail bar on his...

A surgeon liked to stop in a cocktail bar on his way home after work. He liked to try different cocktails, depending on his mood. One day, he asked the barman for something a little different to his...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 24th November 2022, 22:47
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
The recent mini thread about businesses with...

The recent mini thread about businesses with amusing names, combined with ornithological puns running currently, reminded me of a company whose lorries I used to see on the road frequently:-
...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 23rd November 2022, 23:23
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
Been out all day so apologies for a not so swift...

Been out all day so apologies for a not so swift reply. Some of the previous postings have been hard to swallow, or even to pigeon hole. But still, we can't all be culture vultures.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 14th November 2022, 23:04
Replies: 1,837
Views: 600,872
Posted By Dartskipper
I saw a furniture van once that I'm sure wasn't a...

I saw a furniture van once that I'm sure wasn't a mobile dentist but the name on it was Tooth Removals.
Showing results 1 to 25 of 72
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