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Forum: Mess Deck Today, 10:20
Replies: 5,174
Views: 193,028
Posted By Varley
Plumbers should know of that whereof they post...

Plumbers should know of that whereof they post (or have at least a briefs acquaintance bar that left by the Maytag).
Forum: Mess Deck 17th June 2019, 00:21
Replies: 5,174
Views: 193,028
Posted By Varley
I have the savory flare alright. I just don't...

I have the savory flare alright. I just don't have the socks.
Forum: Mess Deck 16th June 2019, 09:32
Replies: 5,174
Views: 193,028
Posted By Varley
Well, continuously monitor its state anyway.

Well, continuously monitor its state anyway.
Forum: Mess Deck 15th June 2019, 19:15
Replies: 5,174
Views: 193,028
Posted By Varley
What you eat is between and the chief plastico's...

What you eat is between and the chief plastico's neatly tryped menu de jour. How you eat it is down to Sir W and your fellow orifices. Gum boots and birthday suits are strictly for the OSSP (Olympic...
Forum: Mess Deck 15th June 2019, 17:02
Replies: 5,174
Views: 193,028
Posted By Varley
I'll have you know Pa taught me always to stand...

I'll have you know Pa taught me always to stand my round (even when it was from the pocket money he supplied). If you have not caught me in the chair then it was probably because you were stuffing...
Forum: Mess Deck 15th June 2019, 12:52
Replies: 5,174
Views: 193,028
Posted By Varley
I prefer the first handle however this is the one...

I prefer the first handle however this is the one actually attached. So:

Have at you! - damned denizens of the dark and polishers of pig iron.

(See you in the forward cocktail lounge when you...
Forum: Mess Deck 15th June 2019, 10:13
Replies: 5,174
Views: 193,028
Posted By Varley
What? wot-wot (I hope this is the downstairs...

What? wot-wot (I hope this is the downstairs telephone). Shouldn't you be polishing something?
Forum: Mess Deck 13th June 2019, 10:24
Replies: 5,174
Views: 193,028
Posted By Varley
Thub1lls? Another Indian chief?

Thub1lls? Another Indian chief?
Forum: Mess Deck 12th June 2019, 10:47
Replies: 5,174
Views: 193,028
Posted By Varley
Jesus in the old testament? Mind you I didn't...

Jesus in the old testament? Mind you I didn't expect to find Buzi there either. Well, not without Snudge anyway.
Forum: Mess Deck 11th June 2019, 18:23
Replies: 5,174
Views: 193,028
Posted By Varley
Boys wear. Indeed they do. Steward, bring me...

Boys wear. Indeed they do. Steward, bring me another ……………….
Forum: Mess Deck 11th June 2019, 00:16
Replies: 5,174
Views: 193,028
Posted By Varley
No. He intimated that it was necessary to have...

No. He intimated that it was necessary to have only one. Silver service in the saloon is safe. I cannot, however, answer for what seem to be port drinking penguins (mind you, Guild Hall pf a day in...
Forum: Mess Deck 7th June 2019, 10:04
Replies: 5,174
Views: 193,028
Posted By Varley
Hopefully amusing aside. Friend of mine has...

Hopefully amusing aside. Friend of mine has capitulated to infirmity and now on oxygen (bottles for some reason, not generator?).

This, evidently, calls for personal introduction by qualified...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 6th June 2019, 18:04
Replies: 344
Views: 31,228
Posted By Varley
Their model of an ideal recruit may have been...

Their model of an ideal recruit may have been updated since you last flew with them E-S.
Forum: Mess Deck 6th June 2019, 17:58
Replies: 5,174
Views: 193,028
Posted By Varley
Should I acquire a pile I will ask cook what...

Should I acquire a pile I will ask cook what colour she would like. You know I talk of a live-in pile, different from the ones I have been modelling in MIG in 2018 (although both can be uncomfortable...
Forum: Mess Deck 6th June 2019, 10:05
Replies: 5,174
Views: 193,028
Posted By Varley
You call me louche! I cook with gas. An Ag Walla...

You call me louche! I cook with gas. An Ag Walla is simply a fashion of the nouveaus unless one has a stately pile and staff.
Forum: Mess Deck 6th June 2019, 00:49
Replies: 5,174
Views: 193,028
Posted By Varley
Submit your injuneer proper now found. ...

Submit your injuneer proper now found.

Managed to finesse it (without brute force I may add).

Locksmith still arranged for tomorrow AM - suggest reputation would take a turn for the worse if...
Forum: Mess Deck 5th June 2019, 16:21
Replies: 5,174
Views: 193,028
Posted By Varley
Just been across the road (felt a fart coming on...

Just been across the road (felt a fart coming on and thought I'd see if could get it to McDonald's before it escaped). Roads were closed but opened again before I got back across the road so looks...
Forum: The Engine Room 5th June 2019, 16:12
Replies: 31
Views: 830
Posted By Varley
1~24? Well, there is the mention of chain saws.

1~24? Well, there is the mention of chain saws.
Forum: Mess Deck 5th June 2019, 14:49
Replies: 5,174
Views: 193,028
Posted By Varley
I say E-S is a bit previous isn't he? The Sun's...

I say E-S is a bit previous isn't he? The Sun's not over the grandstand yet (and it ain't. Haven't heard the bikes yet today - they're not getting a marvellous TT under their belts).
Forum: Mess Deck 5th June 2019, 12:37
Replies: 5,174
Views: 193,028
Posted By Varley
Crikey! All those anniversaries. A barrel of 1812...

Crikey! All those anniversaries. A barrel of 1812 Gripe will be available from 1900 (on me). The Noilly is already behind the bar. All we need is a little bit of left hand down a bit and we can have...
Forum: Mess Deck 5th June 2019, 09:39
Replies: 5,174
Views: 193,028
Posted By Varley
No, not that end. Not even for ready money! ...

No, not that end. Not even for ready money!

(I understand that he claims ancestry with the Admiral as do I, one cannot choose one's relations only consider them often removed - perhaps I would...
Forum: Mess Deck 4th June 2019, 15:36
Replies: 5,174
Views: 193,028
Posted By Varley
My apologise E-S. I had no idea when teasing you...

My apologise E-S. I had no idea when teasing you that you were a senior member of the Dull Men's Club (for shipmates who may not know that can be found on a "social" medium in the bottom intellectual...
Forum: Mess Deck 4th June 2019, 10:37
Replies: 5,174
Views: 193,028
Posted By Varley
Gripetini, indeed, keeps me free of any...

Gripetini, indeed, keeps me free of any discomfort caused by wind. That is not to say those in close vicinity are not quite often offended by the therapeutic release that necessitates. And that's...
Forum: Mess Deck 3rd June 2019, 12:33
Replies: 5,174
Views: 193,028
Posted By Varley
I could add some weight to a belaying stay but...

I could add some weight to a belaying stay but will take advice on arrangement of bedlinen from the chief steward not from a plumber. We are not US flag and fear we will have to dunk a cadet rather...
Forum: Mess Deck 2nd June 2019, 18:54
Replies: 5,174
Views: 193,028
Posted By Varley
I rather think it is what we are floating in that...

I rather think it is what we are floating in that covers much geography. There is a little machine that helps us determine where it is despite it hiding in this fashion. (Two wishful thoughts there!)
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