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Forum: Mess Deck Yesterday, 18:17
Replies: 6,300
Views: 411,416
Posted By Engine Serang
Rounded up to half a gallon.

Rounded up to half a gallon.
Forum: Mess Deck Yesterday, 15:28
Replies: 6,300
Views: 411,416
Posted By Engine Serang
As Tmax and myself often say to one another, it's...

As Tmax and myself often say to one another, it's better to hear it than smell it. And we are unanimous on that.
Almost unanimous.
Mostly unanimous.
In fact blood has been spilt during...
Forum: Mess Deck 4th June 2020, 06:21
Replies: 6,300
Views: 411,416
Posted By Engine Serang
And Ypres mud will get into the turn-ups in your...

And Ypres mud will get into the turn-ups in your trousers.
Forum: Mess Deck 3rd June 2020, 19:21
Replies: 6,300
Views: 411,416
Posted By Engine Serang
Did you hear about the couple who didn't know the...

Did you hear about the couple who didn't know the difference between Vaseline and putty?
All their windows fell out.
Forum: Mess Deck 3rd June 2020, 10:29
Replies: 6,300
Views: 411,416
Posted By Engine Serang
Shipmates Good News..... Tmax has invited us down...

Shipmates Good News..... Tmax has invited us down to the Changing Room for drinks and nibbles at, at sex, which is 18.00 hrs on the H&W clock. On past performance it could descend into a bit of a...
Forum: Mess Deck 2nd June 2020, 13:17
Replies: 6,300
Views: 411,416
Posted By Engine Serang
Gentlemen normally take them out and put them in...

Gentlemen normally take them out and put them in a glass on the bedside locker. Be nice, T.
Forum: Mess Deck 2nd June 2020, 07:35
Replies: 6,300
Views: 411,416
Posted By Engine Serang
The Bond has not been refreshed in living memory,...

The Bond has not been refreshed in living memory, nearly 3 months. We're all Covid 19 and have forgotten Vat 19. Priorities Gentlemen, Priorities. If we neglect our wellbeing we will loose our...
Forum: Mess Deck 1st June 2020, 11:14
Replies: 6,300
Views: 411,416
Posted By Engine Serang
This ship is becoming a coven for old women...

This ship is becoming a coven for old women gossiping, lets have no more of it. We have a treasure trove of manly stories, we should start telling them and let the rest be amazed.
Forum: Mess Deck 30th May 2020, 11:09
Replies: 6,300
Views: 411,416
Posted By Engine Serang
I set my clock by Tmax's bowel movements, perhaps...

I set my clock by Tmax's bowel movements, perhaps that's why i'm always late on Watch.
BTW the toilet brush is a stranger to him; and the smell...………..
Forum: Easy/Hard Jig/puzzle 29th May 2020, 08:23
Replies: 8,615
Views: 524,089
Posted By Engine Serang
Mea Culpa, I got a little overexcited and clicked...

Mea Culpa, I got a little overexcited and clicked on the Submit button.
I hate smartar5es who spoil it for others.
Forum: Easy/Hard Jig/puzzle 28th May 2020, 21:26
Replies: 8,615
Views: 524,089
Posted By Engine Serang
P&O Chusan. Base of funnel spoiler.

P&O Chusan. Base of funnel spoiler.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 26th May 2020, 05:48
Replies: 551
Views: 88,363
Posted By Engine Serang
As I sang “Amazing Grace”, the workers began to...

As I sang “Amazing Grace”, the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together.

As did I.
This is the most convincing joke I've heard in a long time.

PS. Are you a tenor or...
Forum: Mess Deck 24th May 2020, 21:35
Replies: 6,300
Views: 411,416
Posted By Engine Serang
Engine Serang is bloody good but he can't be both...

Engine Serang is bloody good but he can't be both in the engine room and the pipe tunnel. He (me) (I) is currently deeply involved in a mission of mercy to keep Senor Varley lubricated. A...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 21st May 2020, 20:25
Replies: 551
Views: 88,363
Posted By Engine Serang
Bet his jacket could tell a few tales.

Bet his jacket could tell a few tales.
Forum: Easy/Hard Jig/puzzle 18th May 2020, 19:48
Replies: 8,615
Views: 524,089
Posted By Engine Serang
Costa Allegra Although could be Costa A35.

Costa Allegra

Although could be Costa A35.
Forum: Easy/Hard Jig/puzzle 18th May 2020, 11:35
Replies: 8,615
Views: 524,089
Posted By Engine Serang
Costa neoRomantica

Costa neoRomantica
Forum: Mess Deck 15th May 2020, 17:41
Replies: 6,300
Views: 411,416
Posted By Engine Serang
Keep a good weather eye for the Kish Bank Light,...

Keep a good weather eye for the Kish Bank Light, Fl (2)20s It is one worth paying for.
Forum: Mess Deck 15th May 2020, 15:46
Replies: 6,300
Views: 411,416
Posted By Engine Serang
No, Light Dues are for the upkeep of lighthouses...

No, Light Dues are for the upkeep of lighthouses and buoys, boo ees in USA, Trinity House etc. They can be heavy, especially as no one uses them anymore. Do you expect our wheelhouse rats to look out...
Forum: Mess Deck 15th May 2020, 11:19
Replies: 6,300
Views: 411,416
Posted By Engine Serang
From star gazing to navel gazing, why do we pay...

From star gazing to navel gazing, why do we pay light dues.
Forum: Mess Deck 14th May 2020, 21:40
Replies: 6,300
Views: 411,416
Posted By Engine Serang
Where the hell is this ship? The star gazers have...

Where the hell is this ship? The star gazers have taken to their bunks in case some virus strikes. They all have full blown HIV and Aids, touches of Gon and Syph, weepy willies and balls down to...
Forum: Mess Deck 14th May 2020, 21:31
Replies: 6,300
Views: 411,416
Posted By Engine Serang
The sludge tank I can handle but the faecal tank...

The sludge tank I can handle but the faecal tank causes me problems. OK, Granny wins again and the bugger on the fo'csle with his muffler and piece-box can drive her home to...…. Scunthorpe, I...
Forum: Mess Deck 14th May 2020, 11:00
Replies: 6,300
Views: 411,416
Posted By Engine Serang
And who puts the granary in the loaf?

And who puts the granary in the loaf?
Forum: Mess Deck 14th May 2020, 08:52
Replies: 6,300
Views: 411,416
Posted By Engine Serang
Ah yes, they really do put the tea in teabags but...

Ah yes, they really do put the tea in teabags but who puts the tomato in the sambo?
Forum: Mess Deck 12th May 2020, 09:55
Replies: 6,300
Views: 411,416
Posted By Engine Serang
A good pub carvery is hard to beat, an average...

A good pub carvery is hard to beat, an average carvery is also hard to beat. And I am unanimous on that and will book no opposition.

And the good news is that you don't have to visit the UK,...
Forum: Easy/Hard Jig/puzzle 10th May 2020, 11:15
Replies: 8,615
Views: 524,089
Posted By Engine Serang
Just like the Townsville Star but much better...

Just like the Townsville Star but much better paintwork.
Showing results 1 to 25 of 500

 
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