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Forum: The Pig & Whistle 27th March 2020, 17:13
Replies: 492
Views: 75,364
Posted By BobClay
**** the groan-o-meter !!! Two prawns were...

**** the groan-o-meter !!!

Two prawns were swimming around in the sea.
One called Justin and the other called Kristian.
The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 27th March 2020, 17:07
Replies: 492
Views: 75,364
Posted By BobClay
What's this 'water' stuff you lot are on about ?

What's this 'water' stuff you lot are on about ?
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 26th March 2020, 17:59
Replies: 492
Views: 75,364
Posted By BobClay
I had to Google Armagnac !! Thus confirming...

I had to Google Armagnac !!

Thus confirming my origins as a West Midlands lowlife ... who thinks people who drink 'sherry' are posh.

(VP Sherrry at that.)

(Touches forelock, but reloads...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 25th March 2020, 23:08
Replies: 492
Views: 75,364
Posted By BobClay
There's a strong echo in here .... :eek:

There's a strong echo in here .... :eek:
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 24th March 2020, 23:10
Replies: 492
Views: 75,364
Posted By BobClay
"Word Up" .... (although I'll admit, I'm being a...

"Word Up" .... (although I'll admit, I'm being a bit dark and cynical.) :eek:
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 21st March 2020, 18:11
Replies: 492
Views: 75,364
Posted By BobClay
Definitely, although Trump might go for it ......

Definitely, although Trump might go for it ... (dumb f***** that he is.)
Forum: Mess Deck 18th March 2020, 12:07
Replies: 52
Views: 1,545
Posted By BobClay
A quote from the legendary KGB Colonel Stok...

A quote from the legendary KGB Colonel Stok should explain that fully.

"Capitalism is the exploitation of man by man, whereas Communism is exactly the reverse." :egg:
Forum: Mess Deck 18th March 2020, 09:21
Replies: 52
Views: 1,545
Posted By BobClay
I never noticed that ..... it must be a...

I never noticed that ..... it must be a conspiracy ... :eek:
Forum: Mess Deck 17th March 2020, 23:13
Replies: 52
Views: 1,545
Posted By BobClay
All this bog roll stuff is a boon for the...

All this bog roll stuff is a boon for the cartoonists ....:wink:
Forum: Mess Deck 17th March 2020, 17:02
Replies: 52
Views: 1,545
Posted By BobClay
Pah !!! Bunch of pansies. There's no...

Pah !!! Bunch of pansies.

There's no sandpaper shortage is there ... ? Perfect substitute. :p
Forum: Mess Deck 17th March 2020, 14:08
Replies: 52
Views: 1,545
Posted By BobClay
"Is it safe ?" Depends on who you ask .......

"Is it safe ?"
Depends on who you ask .... :eek:

https://youtu.be/mqrpPaNm8yw
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 15th March 2020, 12:44
Replies: 492
Views: 75,364
Posted By BobClay
Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for...

Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner.
He lives with a female roommate, Maria.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate is....
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 14th March 2020, 17:01
Replies: 492
Views: 75,364
Posted By BobClay
It's a mystery ... but just in case there's...

It's a mystery ... but just in case there's something in it ... make sure the pooch is properly trained, or you could lose the family treasure ... :D
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 14th March 2020, 14:03
Replies: 492
Views: 75,364
Posted By BobClay
This panic buying is getting out of hand...

This panic buying is getting out of hand .....:sweat:
Forum: Mess Deck 10th March 2020, 10:20
Replies: 52
Views: 1,545
Posted By BobClay
A guy on the telly the other night explained how...

A guy on the telly the other night explained how alcohol kills the Corona virus stone dead.

I'm saved, I'm saved !! :sweat:

One of those sods gets into me, I'll just take another swig, and...
Forum: Mess Deck 7th March 2020, 15:45
Replies: 52
Views: 1,545
Posted By BobClay
That's it ..... now I am going to panic !!!!...

That's it ..... now I am going to panic !!!! :eek:

Coronavirus gives you pointy ears ... :egg:
Forum: Mess Deck 7th March 2020, 11:06
Replies: 52
Views: 1,545
Posted By BobClay
There's a fair amount of consternation here in...

There's a fair amount of consternation here in the West Country about Flybe. The railway service is close to non-existent once you're off the south coast, the roads now bear a strong resemblance to...
Forum: Mess Deck 6th March 2020, 14:09
Replies: 35
Views: 972
Posted By BobClay
My guess flashing a credit card would have been...

My guess flashing a credit card would have been closely followed by: 'Man overboard.'

Coinage only, scrutinised carefully by the eyeball.
Forum: Mess Deck 5th March 2020, 22:57
Replies: 35
Views: 972
Posted By BobClay
I did meet a nice human being once. I shot...

I did meet a nice human being once.

I shot the ****er.

I mean, you can't have that sort of behaviour going on or everybody will be doing it.

https://youtu.be/Q-a5TAL-IXs
Forum: Mess Deck 5th March 2020, 18:49
Replies: 52
Views: 1,545
Posted By BobClay
Breaking news ....

Breaking news ....
Forum: Mess Deck 5th March 2020, 10:32
Replies: 52
Views: 1,545
Posted By BobClay
Sorry but I've cracked it ...... :p

Sorry but I've cracked it ...... :p
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 4th March 2020, 22:39
Replies: 492
Views: 75,364
Posted By BobClay
It is groan-o-meter joke ... but it made me laugh.

It is groan-o-meter joke ... but it made me laugh.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 29th February 2020, 14:52
Replies: 492
Views: 75,364
Posted By BobClay
One for the groan-o-meter:

One for the groan-o-meter:
Forum: Computers and The Internet 29th February 2020, 14:43
Replies: 20
Views: 1,200
Posted By BobClay
"If you hadn't nailed that disk to the...

"If you hadn't nailed that disk to the motherboard, it would be pushing up the milliamps !! "

:sweat:
Forum: Mess Deck 29th February 2020, 12:45
Replies: 35
Views: 972
Posted By BobClay
I seem to remember getting a slap on the wrist...

I seem to remember getting a slap on the wrist for using a '1' for an 'i' in a certain four letter word that describes excreted brown matter, thinking I might bypass the bad word discomnobulator. ...
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