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Forum: Mess Deck 28th May 2021, 15:55
Replies: 8,971
Views: 1,654,011
Posted By Farmer John
As an interested arachnologist, I can assure you...

As an interested arachnologist, I can assure you that they only bite under extreme provocation, their bite is like a wasp sting and they have been in this country for many decades. London...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 22nd May 2021, 12:05
Replies: 26
Views: 8,127
Posted By Farmer John
I did tell one gentleman that I had had carnal...

I did tell one gentleman that I had had carnal knowledge of his sister, he completely lost it. Funny standards really.
Forum: Mess Deck 23rd March 2021, 10:08
Replies: 8,971
Views: 1,654,011
Posted By Farmer John
I find it is wise to stay away from subjects such...

I find it is wise to stay away from subjects such as politics and religion.
Forum: The Engine Room 10th March 2021, 22:06
Replies: 42
Views: 8,955
Posted By Farmer John
I have a manual that covers the Armstrong...

I have a manual that covers the Armstrong Siddeley "Cheetah", "Tiger" and "Lynx" rotary engines, you could teach the basics to almost anyone and take most it apart with a handful of tools. They must...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 27th February 2021, 10:16
Replies: 1,836
Views: 583,919
Posted By Farmer John
Do you wan that measurement in London buses or...

Do you wan that measurement in London buses or Blue Whales?. Both seem to be valid measurement systems.
Forum: Mess Deck 19th February 2021, 17:44
Replies: 8,971
Views: 1,654,011
Posted By Farmer John
Speak for yourself, I have done the crime.

Speak for yourself, I have done the crime.
Forum: Mess Deck 27th January 2021, 21:57
Replies: 8,971
Views: 1,654,011
Posted By Farmer John
Someone left his "King Dick" collection lying...

Someone left his "King Dick" collection lying around, was he deserting to Mole Grips?
Forum: Mess Deck 8th January 2021, 22:06
Replies: 8,971
Views: 1,654,011
Posted By Farmer John
It doesn't worry me that much, I am where I am...

It doesn't worry me that much, I am where I am and that can't change, I just seem to spend more time doing other things.

I haven't inspected Tmac's fundament, that is one blessing.
Forum: Mess Deck 8th January 2021, 17:05
Replies: 8,971
Views: 1,654,011
Posted By Farmer John
My mind is elsewhere right now, just wish by bum...

My mind is elsewhere right now, just wish by bum was, major malfunctions.
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 7th January 2021, 22:51
Replies: 1,836
Views: 583,919
Posted By Farmer John
Bob, I hate to break into your fantasy but small...

Bob, I hate to break into your fantasy but small ropes such as those to moor a dinghy are not woven. As an alternative to your ending you could have the man explaining to the woman how to make rope...
Forum: Mess Deck 15th December 2020, 00:03
Replies: 8,971
Views: 1,654,011
Posted By Farmer John
Surely you mean "Frigging reindeers leads to...

Surely you mean "Frigging reindeers leads to nothing but trouble."
Forum: Mess Deck 11th December 2020, 18:35
Replies: 8,971
Views: 1,654,011
Posted By Farmer John
I hate people that do this, but, me too.

I hate people that do this, but, me too.
Forum: Mess Deck 10th November 2020, 18:58
Replies: 8,971
Views: 1,654,011
Posted By Farmer John
Raster is just dots, vector is much more...

Raster is just dots, vector is much more intelligent.

Vector Meldrew.
Forum: The Engine Room 9th November 2020, 19:04
Replies: 29
Views: 9,114
Posted By Farmer John
There must be a very good precedent for this kind...

There must be a very good precedent for this kind of thing, in one of John Steinbeck's books someone has a collection of engine parts from very obscure engines. Possibly Cannery Row.

I still have...
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 21st October 2020, 19:43
Replies: 7
Views: 3,303
Posted By Farmer John
An angry sea must be one of the most scary things...

An angry sea must be one of the most scary things you can experience.
Forum: Mess Deck 19th October 2020, 17:00
Replies: 8,971
Views: 1,654,011
Posted By Farmer John
I have a strong agnostic leaning, with some...

I have a strong agnostic leaning, with some thoughts. Best described by "I don't believe in God, but if I am wrong, I don't mean to be rude."
Forum: The Arts & Entertainment forum 18th October 2020, 09:59
Replies: 117
Views: 94,167
Posted By Farmer John
I remember hearing this quite a few years ago,...

I remember hearing this quite a few years ago, great to hear it again.
Forum: Recipes & Cooking 15th October 2020, 15:21
Replies: 55
Views: 29,939
Posted By Farmer John
It can still be bought in our local supermarket,...

It can still be bought in our local supermarket, together with Sterilised milk oin a bottle with a crown cap to it.

The darker gentleman on the label is now sitting down as well, after many years...
Forum: Mess Deck 15th October 2020, 09:56
Replies: 5
Views: 2,853
Posted By Farmer John
Wasn't Tallboy one of Barnes-Wallace's little...

Wasn't Tallboy one of Barnes-Wallace's little projects?
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 9th October 2020, 16:37
Replies: 21
Views: 5,646
Posted By Farmer John
I think Hitler read it. Everybody else just...

I think Hitler read it. Everybody else just nodded when said "Have you read my wonderful book?"
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 4th October 2020, 15:30
Replies: 21
Views: 5,646
Posted By Farmer John
Of course.

Of course.
Forum: Mess Deck 1st October 2020, 17:13
Replies: 8,971
Views: 1,654,011
Posted By Farmer John
Ooh, I we go to La Belly France, can we stop at...

Ooh, I we go to La Belly France, can we stop at Marseilles for a good old Boiledbaseball?
Forum: The Arts & Entertainment forum 24th September 2020, 21:34
Replies: 41
Views: 47,735
Posted By Farmer John
Abba? Not quite (this is a very poor recording). ...

Abba? Not quite (this is a very poor recording).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KY9KozW8O9U
Forum: The Pig & Whistle 19th September 2020, 18:01
Replies: 1,836
Views: 583,919
Posted By Farmer John
!960s, Kenneth Horne, and I bet he didn't make...

!960s, Kenneth Horne, and I bet he didn't make them up. I have a vision of humorists subtly edging Chekov towards a career as a writer, then fighting when he was first published to be the first to...
Forum: Mess Deck 17th September 2020, 10:12
Replies: 8,971
Views: 1,654,011
Posted By Farmer John
Don't forget, you ARE the captain. All eyes are...

Don't forget, you ARE the captain. All eyes are turned to you, all hands wait your every whim. Well, not that one.
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