[Farmer John]

Tom, you will be transported around the ship on a luxurious cloud, like the first 3 drinks of booze combined with the Mekon's little green platform.

Bad hips are a torture, our next door neighbour was offered a replacement in the airy future broke hers when she capsized her electric wheelchair while racing for pink slips in the supermarket, the replacement is coming good now.

A quick 4 Bells in the chart room from time to time and some quiet advice when things look like going a bit wrong would be very welcome, I am sure Sir William would be reassured to know that we won't be going up the pyramid again.

A few rounds in the Pax lounge? I don't mind if I do. Plaggy stewards, set out some heavyweight horses doofers and break out the Champagne for all who apply in person, no more than 2 bottles per glass. The idea that a champagne glass should be the model for the perfect ladies breast has rather gone the way of the dodo, seems more like a bucket to water a horse is our preferred measure.

Did we tell you about the near loss of the Owner's barge? Damn, that horse can swim. Also, we had a little trouble with anchors not holding too well. Tied one of the Panama mules on and sent it over the side, never moved after that.

Keep an eye on us Tom, that is all I need.