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Old 1st January 2020, 16:13
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Varley Isle of Man Varley is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Isle of Man, G.B.
Posts: 2,403
Consider yourself on the guest list, I don't know why mine as I bet you'll choose to play for the Irish Lady's team. But you are wrong about the lawn.

I offered the pile to the family of a 90 year old friend for her funeral breakfast. Although not a heavy drinker herself she liked to have the favourite tipples of all her friends to hand which she bought in industrial quantities such that the stock outlasted most of the friends for which it had been intended. Amongst the contents of her wardrobe 'cellar' were, as examples, several bottles of 'Grande Empereur' which Pa took as good brandy (which it isn't), Lambs Gravy (for me) and cases of champagne.

It was a lovely day and her guests wandered the garden. A week or so later I noticed quite a lot of comma shaped streaks of dead lawn. I remembered that one bottle of fizz had been discovered off and so the barperson was instructed to check each before serving and simply open another bottle. The dead lawn was a result of guests, being too polite to complain, slinging the fine French vinegar before going for a refill.

(Having discovered a bottle of Gordon's orange gin in the hoard, which was delicious, I tried to buy a supply for myself. No one had heard of it. Looking at the label again I noted the Royal Warrant. "By appointment to His Late Majesty King George V". A vintage bottle indeed).
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David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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