One time I'd just gone on the first morning watch and I was trying to put my eyeballs back in (they were hanging out on the springs) when a first trip deck cadet opened the bridge door and told me: "The Old Man told me to tell you that the radar scanner is squeaking."
"OK" I replied. "You're sure it's the scanner ?"
"Yes, the Old Man had me climb the mast ladder just to check, and it's definitely the scanner."
At this news I perked up, and spotted an opportunity.
"You mean he sent you up the mast ladder while the radar was still on !!" I exclaimed. "You've been exposed to microwave radiation … very dangerous … it's likely you've been sterilised and will never be interested in sex again." I told him.
He look startled and scurried away.
He came back about 10 minutes later and told me he couldn't have been up there long enough to do damage, as everything was working.
Believe me I didn't ask …
