[Varley]

I had thought that we might hold conferences onboard again. Then I remembered the problem we had with the Flat Earth Research Society's Survey Group.

One good night at the bar with our bridge team and they want to take sights with a Planimeter and Plumbbob.

(Mind you I have often thought that their efforts would be outdone had we dowsing rods interfaced with the ECDIS)

There was the Homeopathy conference that doubled as a blind testing for their proposed seasickness cure - a teeny weeny concentration of rough-sea water (the inevitable failure was blamed on the purity of the evaporator output used in the dilution). A similar potion using quinine water and gin proved more effective although some complained of strange aftereffects of loss of appetite, headache and sleeping-in- the-wrong-cabin syndrome. I think the plastcos did quite well with tips (certainly some of the chatter was quite gratuitous).

We daren't offer the facilities to the Institutes of marine engineering or navigation. We would have our lots on the razzle full time and the delegates would be sneaking about trying to re=live old times with our ultra modern tech stuff (that escapes our understanding, they would have no hope).

We will have to do something 'though or YM will start hurling ordnance around (and that is certain to disturb the Old man's afternoon forty winks).