The farmer in Co. Kerry in Ireland was visiting his fields when he saw a tourist with a bike attempting to drink from a stream. The farmer called out in Gaelic "Don't drink from that. It's full of cow s**t!"
The tourist shouted back "I'm British and I can't understand you. Talk to me in English!"
"Use both hands. You'll get more of it!"
I am long married to an Irish girl, have been an Irish resident for thirty years and with a large Irish family. One night over a few beers and taking the p*ss out of each other, my brother-in-law said "You know why Irish jokes are so simple?"
"No?"
"So that you English can understand them!"
Then the pub sign in Dublin: "Full seven course Irish dinner -- six pints and a potato."