[BobClay]

A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: To get their parent
to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, 'My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens.
One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of
the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs got broken.'
'What's the morale of that story?' asked the teacher.
'Don't put all your eggs in one basket!'
'Very good,' said the teacher.

Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, 'Our family are farmers too.
But we raise chickens for the meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs, but
when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story
is, 'Don't count your chickens before they're hatched'.'
'That was a fine story Sarah,' said the teacher.

The teacher turned to Little Johnny and asked: 'Do you have a story to share?'
'Yes. My daddy told me this story about my Aunty Sharon. Aunty Sharon was a
flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit.
She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of
whiskey, a machine gun and a machete.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she
landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them
with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty
more with the machete until the blade broke and then she killed the last
ten with her bare hands.'
'Good heavens,' said the horrified teacher. 'What kind of moral did your
daddy tell you from that horrible story?'

'Don't f**k with Auntie Sharon when she's p1ssed!'