The wonderful thing about the English language is there is always something to take the mickey about.
The Scottish accountant who emigrated to Ausdi in sixties as a ten pound pom, Eric Bogle wrote and sang a hilarious folk song called Silly Slang Song. He also wrote Green Fields of France, the song the British Legion took up a few years ago.
Silly slang song by Eric Bogle
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SOdHNG...3ZCJmeKArnw%3D
Do you remember the day that if you said that you were gay
It meant with joy that you could sing and shout
A fairy was enchanting and dressing up and camping
Was something you did with the scouts
That care free age when an urgent case of aids
Was powdered milk we sent to the Sahara
A fruit was something nice to eat a poof was something for your feet
And a queen was an old tart in a tiara
Chorus:
Ah look what we've done to the old mother tongue
It's a crime the way we've misused it
It's been totally tis woggled, crumb and blonged and golly woggled
And we've strangled, mangled frangled and abused it
Ah those far off times when a bong meant a chime
And a buzz was a noise insecticidal
And joint was something between bones and getting really stoned
Only happened to bad people in the Bible
When if you had a bad trip it meant you fell and broke your hip
Cold turkey just meant Christmas at Aunt Dottie's
Coke was something that you burned; a smack was something that you earned
From your mumzie wumzie when you had been naughty
Chorus
The years have gone I'm afraid when only eggs got laid
And only the rhinoceros got horny
Only kangaroos jumped and only camels humped
Getting stuffed meant a little taxidermy
Swing was for trapezes and Tarzan's chimpanzees
Tossing off was something Scotland did with cabers
Now it means something quite obscene
And heavy ugly scene is any movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger
Chorus
CODA:
They're only words and words are what we use
When we got sod all to say