[Dartskipper]

I posted this one on t'other site years ago, but it might survive retelling here.

The very old Head of the Clan was on his deathbed, and asked for each of his three sons to see him so he could grant them a last wish.

The first son asked for a new tartan kilt, as his current one was getting a bit faded, as well as tight around the waist. "That's fine son, I shall grant your wish. Go and order a new one and put it on my account."

The second son asked for a tartan bonnet, as he didn't own one himself. "Why of course son, go and order a new one and put it on my account."

The third one approached his dying father.
"What would you like son? Your brothers have chosen to have a new tartan kilt and a new tartan bonnet. What new tartan thing would you like? Tartan trews perhaps?"

"Well father, it's like this. I would really like to have a thousand pounds please."

"A thousand pounds? What on earth do need a thousand pounds for. Have you been gambling again?"

"No Father, it's not that at all."

"Well, what could it possibly be for then?"

"I got a tart in trouble," the son replied.