virtual crazy gang, part II

[billyboy]

Originally Posted by Varley

Ezekiel 15:4, perhaps.

roughly translated (as one does)...Hard at both ends but soft in the middle.

[billyboy]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

John 11 : 35.... and that was before the injuneers marked his card.

"As indeed he may well have done Tmac...LOL

[billyboy]

strange these foreign lassies. Once ,while in the throes of copulation, one once said "Keeeeeeeece mefast am i arriving" Never did get a translation on that. She was asleep when I left. did'nt like to wake her and enquire.

[Farmer John]

The most lively response I have ever engendered was a young lady dropped one of her chips that she was eating from a paper on my back.

[Engine Serang]

On my last ship crewed by ratings from the Gold Coast "The Ezekiel" was just below the "Topaz" in the Cast pecking order. He carried out those tasks that Topaz found distasteful primarily retrieving lobsters from the Sparkies bum. The poor creatures were not fit for consumption so they were given to the Bhandahry for disposal. Sparks took two suppositories 4 times daily with a tumbler of BOT lime juice until he saw a witch doctor in Bonny who gave him sudofed and a jar of thermidor sauce labelled only to be opened in case of extreme hunger. The Ezekiel was ever so happy.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by YM-Mundrabilla

Business class on Qantas will be fine thank you.
My last trip by rail on the Nullarbor followed something of a disaster and was on 'my private breakdown train' where the catering was better than both Qantas and the Indian Pacific albeit we travelled at a maximum speed of only 50 km/h.

Looking forward to seeing you in Freemantle then.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

Looking forward to seeing you in Freemantle then.

Just polishing up my firing shovel - it's been a while.......................

(Just in case, however unlikely, that all the other finely built, tuned, polished and maintained machinery fails and we have to go back to the T3 for a while.)

[Varley]

FJ goes a long way to explain why I fail in the Lothario department. Previously I imagined one attracted the hungry ones with a posh dinner and a bottle of Mateus rather than trying to feed them in bed from a paperfull of fried potatoes laid out on ones back.

How does one get them there in the first place? A ground bait of chips leading 'upstairs'?

I do not see how the averagely built missionary and his hungry primitive would arrange themselves to dine thusly. Is this perhaps the McDonald's position? I would find an illustration educational.

As for E-S's encounters with one of the Brethren who had his ration of crustacea up aft instead of forward I can only say that we were not all like that....

...Ducky.

(And I do know they're arachnids!)

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Varley

FJ goes a long way to explain why I fail in the Lothario department. Previously I imagined one attracted the hungry ones with a posh dinner and a bottle of Mateus rather than trying to feed them in bed from a paperful of fried potatoes laid out on ones back.



(And I do know they're arachnids!)

Bed? Oh you are wishing for the very moon, pile of old sacks was all I aspired to.

If you have anything walking and tickling on the body it's that nasty lot, The Insects, from a very different class to the arachnids (Aranea, Acari, Scorpiones and the Opiliones).

[Tom Alexander]

Course Due North - Rottenest Island abeam to starboard. Engine telegraph dead slow ahead. Should be ready to berth in Freemantle in four hours -- Time for a "livener" so we are sharp and on our toes.

[billyboy]

Steward!...Break out the pre Docking Bottles please.

[Varley]

By gum you're right. What on earth is the telegraph doing ahead of us and moving so slowly? Look! there are another two. I wonder if anything methylated has got into the predocking cocktail.

(Pa claimed one could tell if there was a meths drinker about from the gents - smell like a tom cat).

[Dartskipper]

Originally Posted by Varley

By gum you're right. What on earth is the telegraph doing ahead of us and moving so slowly? Look! there are another two. I wonder if anything methylated has got into the predocking cocktail.

(Pa claimed one could tell if there was a meths drinker about from the gents - smell like a tom cat).

Must have been hellish in asparagus season.

[Farmer John]

Fenugreek, that'll get rid of the tom cat piss. I think there is a lot to be said for... almost anything rather going round sniffing for urinary exoticness. I only we had a few ladies on the old GD.

[billyboy]

Bit of Vic vapur rub on your top lip and you will hardly notice the Tom Cats calling card.

[Tom Alexander]

We are cleared to dock at the Passenger Terminal. Please get us all tied up with those stringy thingys with the loop de loops on the end. Pilot to get us a personalised map of all the good bars and clubs. Only cost us a bottle of Ouzo -- strange man that pilot. (He just said "it's all Greek to me!")

[billyboy]

sounds good to me Tom. The Pilots know the type pf places we like to drink in.

[Varley]

I wish I could join you but two of the cutouts misunderstood your order from the bridge. When I have managed to untie myself and unhook the loopy things (and hook them again around the necks of those two soon-to-be-delaminated cutouts) I will be for a spot of recovery fluid in the "Cable-View" fwd cocktail lounge.

[Farmer John]

The rope things have been redundant since Tmac invented the magnetic tier-upper. Mind you, it makes navigation and position fixing by compass a little problematic. I also suspect it is fooling with the Earth's magnetic field.

[Dartskipper]

So we may not be where we think we are? I thought that was the normal state of affairs.

[billyboy]

maybe we forgot to allow for the wind..... This family did as the duke dropped a cracker

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

The rope things have been redundant since Tmac invented the magnetic tier-upper. Mind you, it makes navigation and position fixing by compass a little problematic. I also suspect it is fooling with the Earth's magnetic field.

OK - except when we go into one of those out of the way places when we we dock at dilapidated old wooden piers.

You might be right about the earth's magnetic field, ----- if we stay in Freemantle too long, we might wind up in the Northern Hemisphere without going anywhere.

[Engine Serang]

Bloody Australia has caused a large degree of torpor amongst the crew, just as I prophesised, no one could be arsed to string a few words into a post. Lets make haste, make steam and get to fcuk out of this cultural hell-hole. As Nelson said to his troops before the battle of Hastings; Man can not live on nostalgia alone. We must learn from his mistakes, Billy Boy.

[billyboy]

I am only along for the ride these days ES. Toms the man to see. If you request a destination written on the back od a large banknote I am sure he fit your destination in somehow.

[Engine Serang]

I think you are misunderestimating your influence on this fast and commodious vessel. The engineers cannot order a chateaubriand in the Duty Mess without Mr Mccloggie running it past Capt. Billy. although a bowl of Lobscouse can be gotten without reference to yourself.