virtual crazy gang, part II

[Tmac1720]

Slight problem my friend, Squeek and Eric drank the last 50 gallon drum, will Duraglit do instead?

[Farmer John]

Tmac, that pair, mind you, they do gleam when on watch.

I carry Brasso in my stores, many passengers ask for it, especially the retired Naval Officers. Very popular on a Winter's evening.

[Dartskipper]

Originally Posted by Red-17

Oh, that's a relief! I know I don't use it much but it is nice to know that it is safe and dry. Umm, when you say choppers, do you mean helicopters or motor bikes?

Yes billyboy, I play a couple of musical instruments but haven't done so for awhile.. The bagpipes(Scottish), the bodhran (Irish drum),ukulele (badly) and piano. I can also read music, sort of!

What sort of music were you intending for the band to play and are all crew members expected to participate? It will be interesting to hear about the musical talents of other crew members and which instrument they prefer. I have started to put certain people together with certain instruments so I will be interested to see how close I am. This should be very interesting

Oh, I forgot to mention recorder and tin whistle.

I used to be fairly good on the tape recorder. I also used to play an old Joanna too, but the relationship broke up when I tried to tickle some ivories. I then played second string in the Billy Cotton band, but moved on to the porcelain gravy boat in a jug band in the Potteries.

[Farmer John]

For years I played on the Lino...

[Varley]

Does no one play the Gramophone any longer? That was my introduction to music. Your suggestions will be my good-bye to it.

[billyboy]

my mum got vaccinated with a gramophone needle and theres nothing click nothing click nothing click wrong with me.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Red-17

Can someone please remind me what my role is on the GD? I seem to have lost the plot! Must have been the Grande Marnier.

Red, you're doing so well fitting in that I recommend to Sir William that he promote you to the Interdepartmental Communications Expert (ICE). Commonly found in drink so you will be very welcome.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Varley

Does no one play the Gramophone any longer? That was my introduction to music. Your suggestions will be my good-bye to it.

I used to play the Luxemburg Radio on my blind grandma's Braille set. (The only one I've ever seen - no numbers on the dial -- just Braille)

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

I don't play the comb and paper anymore, the fluffy quilted stuff does not give the clear notes I seek.

Farmer John -- If you see Pats, she may just have some Izal (It's medicated) left over from the Nostalgia days -- just like wax paper - tough as nails -- but produces superb sound when draped over a comb. (Bad as it was it did beat little squares of last weeks Daily Mirror hung up on a piece of string behind the loo door.

[Tom Alexander]

Just in case anyone is remotely interested, we will be passing Noumea on New Caledonia tomorrow. I'll scout out what they have in the way of bars, just in case anyone wants to stop off for whatever it is that one stops off for in a foreign port?

[billyboy]

Foreign port you say....Varley loves a drop of Port.

Busy writing out the notes for Air on G string. Might try it out later if we all got instruments to hand.

[Varley]

Don't rub it in. I think it is getting worse. I'm down to fizz and Angostura with plain water. Does a disbelief in god(s/ess/esses) mean I can't believe in hell? A little tinnitus too this morning although GP look-alike reports middle ears free of liquid.

4 more weeks of this and if no improvement I'll have to have shore leave to visit "The ENT man". I am not sure if he lives hermit like in some mountainous eyrie but I know I will have to 'go' somewhere. Unless Ssr can drop me off I'll have to take some Captain's leave (kind if you don't tell Macaroni or they'll dock the entitlement by a day or two).

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Slight problem my friend, Squeek and Eric drank the last 50 gallon drum, will Duraglit do instead?

Not familiar with Duraglit myself.
Do you drink it or eat it?

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by YM-Mundrabilla

Not familiar with Duraglit myself.
Do you drink it or eat it?

I think it is Brasso flavoured candy-floss. An acquired taste.

[Varley]

I think it's used in place of earmuffs. Removes earwax-trapping hairs and polishes up the External Acoustic Meatus. Max the earwax smell a bit like No.1 vase after its ceremonial annual up-tarting.

I don't think Tmac has read the HSE Leaflet properly. Its not for internal consumption unless one fears verdigris of the belly, rare on GD due avoidance of wetting the target area with anything with high water content. Don't use externally on the head either - the toupee won't stick after one's buffed it off.

[billyboy]

(I take it you have already tried Dyno-rod David)

O must get back below. got to adjust tappets on No 3 aux Gen. and polish the shifters and hammers.

[Red-17]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

You probably would have had more success if you used your fingers instead

Yus you lot had better be afraid 'cause I is on the way back just as soon as I can drag Squeek and Eric out of the bar

My injun room had better be in pristine condition otherwise the brown stuff will hit the fan BIG TIME

Tmac, I am so looking forward to having you back on the GD. WHERE have you been.

Please tell me that you play the clarinet!

[Red-17]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

I don't play the comb and paper anymore, the fluffy quilted stuff does not give the clear notes I seek. I see you play one of the Badly group of instruments, I too play a number of these instruments and am considered an expert on the Badly tuning. I think we could rustle up a good few who can play Badly.
Nothing raises the heart quite like the sound of the National Anthem played Badly, on Badly tuned instruments. You fists clench, your eyes fill with tears and you murmur "That's Badly, Badly done".

I find it hard to believe you don't play the fiddle! It just seems to be the right instrument for you.

[Red-17]

Originally Posted by Varley

Don't rub it in. I think it is getting worse. I'm down to fizz and Angostura with plain water. Does a disbelief in god(s/ess/esses) mean I can't believe in hell? A little tinnitus too this morning although GP look-alike reports middle ears free of liquid.

4 more weeks of this and if no improvement I'll have to have shore leave to visit "The ENT man". I am not sure if he lives hermit like in some mountainous eyrie but I know I will have to 'go' somewhere. Unless Ssr can drop me off I'll have to take some Captain's leave (kind if you don't tell Macaroni or they'll dock the entitlement by a day or two).

Try some hydrogen peroxide. Heat a teaspoon in a little hot water in a saucer, place a couple of drops in spoon to heat then pour into ear. It froths and bubbles and clears blockages wonderfully.

[Red-17]

I seem to have lost the plot with the conversation. Think it might be the three glasses of HV Merlot that I have partaken of this evening.

[Red-17]

Are you supposed to eat when you are drinking? Drinking seems to make me forget about eating. Think I will get the bagpipes out, the neighbours don't like it but then I don't like the fact that their dogs bark all night long. Strange though, they bark even more when I play the pipe's.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Originally Posted by Red-17

I seem to have lost the plot with the conversation. Think it might be the three glasses of HV Merlot that I have partaken of this evening.

That should leave a wee bit in the bottle. Don't waste it!
Don't tell them what HV stands for we don't want to share it too widely. Do we?

[billyboy]

phew. all done. Just go take a shower then its Splice the main brace time.

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Red-17

Tmac, I am so looking forward to having you back on the GD. WHERE have you been.

Please tell me that you play the clarinet!

Will be back very soon, I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you and that would be such a waste.

Apologies dear lady but I have an aversion to wrapping my lips around anything tubular. However as Sir Billy has previously advised I enjoy beating the crap out of a Lambeg drum

David, I fear your ear and nasal condition is affecting your cognisant ability.. Me read the HSE manual..... what ever gave you the impression injuneers could read?... we only look at the pictures

Duraglit... indeed Brasso flavoured candy floss or chewing tobacco for Squeek and Eric

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by billyboy

phew. all done. Just go take a shower then its Splice the main brace time.

in which case why are the tappets rattling away like a skellington abusing itself in a biscuit tin?

Sir William, CED and I taught you better than that, methinks you were using the wrong size tool