virtual crazy gang, part II

[Varley]

That's OK. I'm finishing the curry this evening, now a 5 dayer but not only that lots of surplus broad beans. Not sure if my belly bugs make methane or hydrogen but it'll certainly do until we can get a cheap bunker stem. Sprouts would be gilding the lily, well possibly not gilding but altering the colour, certainly.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Red-17

You have far too much time on your hands Tom Alexander, surely Mrs Tom has a list of chores for you. Doesn't really give me a solution to the worming of Llamas. By the way, I have been meaning to ask, if we have enough room on the garden/farm deck might we add a few goats?

For anyone that is interested, and is spending Sunday on board, I will be doing a Roast Lamb dinner with all the trimmings followed by an old fashioned trifle made with some beautiful sherry that I discovered in one of the old lockers. Please let me know if you would like to partake.

Roast lamb - my favourite along as we have some of that lovely fresh mint from your garden mixed with fine malt vinegar.


As for goats, best kept on the retractable roof -- please see:


http://www.oldcountrymarket.com/

[Tom Alexander]

Happy birthday tmac. ---- lang may yer lum reek !

[billyboy]

Of his lum starts reeking it only by special request from the bridge. (for smoke screen purposes) Either that or the funnel suite is on fire.....LOL

[Tom Alexander]

Even in this hot clime, we can still find a Blue Peter --something like keeping international Code flag P in a refrigerated locker. Hoist on the starboard yardarm. All ship's personal drag yourselves from whichever sleazy tavern, bordello, speakeasy, or similar establishment as we are sailing tomorrow morning at 14:00 hours, right after breakfast. Oh! Alright then -- One for the road.

[billyboy]

Cheers Tom!

You know I been thinking....It is a rather long road....a man could get a real thirst walking all that way back to the Ship. Maybe another one for the road?

[Varley]

Who has allowed any of the company ashore without the regulation hip flask (full)? There is no excuse for returning late due to the need for refreshment stops (rather begs the question of comfort stops 'though).

Blue peter 24 hours before departure? Is that because some fool has introduced some sobriety requirement to those 'doing standby' or do you expect us to only be sufficiently unblind drunk to see it for a few minutes in the drinking day?

I suppose you could be signaling Tmac for repairs on board - we all know he does all of those to do with plumbering of the infernal contraption engine.

[Farmer John]

[QUOTE=Varley;641Blue peter 24 hours before departure? Is that because some fool has introduced some sobriety requirement to those 'doing standby' or do you expect us to only be sufficiently unblind drunk to see it for a few minutes in the drinking day?
[/QUOTE]

I kind of rely on a meaningful wave of the hand and a careful "carry on" to impart my wishes and make them commands.

I remember as a youth grasping the back of the sofa and muttering something about "long day, ver' tired" and then attempting the North Face of the staircase, maybe upright but not always.

Oh the days of youth, we thought we deceived but we were just tolerated.

[billyboy]

here we are then Lads. Strewth look at the angle of the gangway!. Like climbing mount Everest!! Must be a spring tide or something.
Hang on, I must relieve myself into the Dock first. Oops sorry cut outs. should have closed your porthole anyway.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by billyboy

here we are then Lads. Strewth look at the angle of the gangway!. Like climbing mount Everest!! Must be a spring tide or something.
Hang on, I must relieve myself into the Dock first. Oops sorry cut outs. should have closed your porthole anyway.

It seems, Sir William, that through your incoholic haze, you are trying to board that light ULCC that's moored just ahead of us? The "porthole" was more likely a ballast water discharge.

[billyboy]

Hic!,,,hew insinuatin I'mmmmmmm under the affluence hof Hincahol;.....Hic!

[billyboy]

next morning:
OOh my head. Coffee and paracetamol Steward. and a large bloody Mary for starters. followed by a full English.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by billyboy

next morning:
OOh my head. Coffee and paracetamol Steward. and a large bloody Mary for starters. followed by a full English.

I'll join you for the full English, but hold the black puddin' -----Leave room in the mug for a double Four Bells. ---- Please!

[Tom Alexander]

Leaving Phuket after breakfast -- will have to go alone as there is a line of pilots on the quay who flatly refuse to proffer their services -- something to do with us leading one of their number astray when we arrived?? There is also a lilne-up of mothers and fathers with young daughters right behind them breathing fire and breathing slaughter. (Can't imagine why!)

[billyboy]

We will depart in stealth mode. Cut outs!...single up to a slipper. raise the gangway. Fore and aft thrusters to port....aft thruster to starboard.....all stop!. there you are Farmer john. the ocean is straight ahead. take us to sea while I finish my breakfast.

[Tmac1720]

HOI !!!!! who the *@$# moved my VLCC ???? I tied the bloody thing up at the sharp end but some bugger has shifted it........ grrrrrrrrrrrrrr... can leave bugger all lying about round here and especially after I went to all the bother of nicking it in the first place.

Somebody....ANYBODY..... had better bring me a flagon of Black Bush toot sweet and explain themselves before I emerge from the pit spouting fire and brimstone and also being rather cross.

[Varley]

Better put water on deck and maybe alter course to take best advantage of the wind. That brimstone stuff is worse than tube blowings, especially if it gets into the Gripetini.

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

HOI !!!!! who the *@$# moved my VLCC ???? I tied the bloody thing up at the sharp end but some bugger has shifted it........ grrrrrrrrrrrrrr... can leave bugger all lying about round here and especially after I went to all the bother of nicking it in the first place.

Somebody....ANYBODY..... had better bring me a flagon of Black Bush toot sweet and explain themselves before I emerge from the pit spouting fire and brimstone and also being rather cross.

Full ahead, course steady till we have cleared the bits of the VLCC some fool left tied up at the sharp end.

Tmac, we have plumbed your whole domain with Black Bush at three different temperatures, any more tantrums while we are trying to work out how to get all the bits out of the Thrusters and you will only have the icy cold available after running through the chiller of our collective outrage (I like that bit). We respect you and we like you, but we won't be browbeaten.

I have marked the course for (hopefully) missing Banda Aceh, then we can steer West and aim at India, I think I can hit that.

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

We respect you and we like you, but we won't be browbeaten.

excuse me young man but I have never laid as much as a spanner on your brow much less have beaten it



I have marked the course for (hopefully) missing Banda Aceh, then we can steer West and aim at India, I think I can hit that.

Ha you lot couldn't hit a cows arse with a banjo

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Ha you lot couldn't hit a cows arse with a banjo

I would have you know, I trained on a buffalo and a Ukelele.

Never quite understood the assessment practical.

[Tmac1720]

I trained on testicles, craniums, noses and assorted limbs...... which makes me the gentle soul that I am...

Injuneers have no favourites... we hate everybody equally

[Dartskipper]

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

I'll join you for the full English, but hold the black puddin' -----Leave room in the mug for a double Four Bells. ---- Please!

Full English without the black compilation of mysterious left overs Tom? Perhaps the cooks could rustle up some Scrapple instead? (For non American members, scrapple is mostly left over porky bits combined with various ingredients from the fridge and vegetable locker.)

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Dartskipper

Full English without the black compilation of mysterious left overs Tom? Perhaps the cooks could rustle up some Scrapple instead? (For non American members, scrapple is mostly left over porky bits combined with various ingredients from the fridge and vegetable locker.)

Mysterious leftovers? Blood and fat with cereal and herbs, get it down you, it IS lovely.

[billyboy]

Any more toast Steward...Oh and the vegemite please.......Have to keep my Vitamin B level topped up.
Carry on with the amusing banter lads! just take care not to push your luck too far with the engineering dept; he can be a rough handful when he's upset...."You wont like him when he's angry"...LOL

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Dartskipper

Full English without the black compilation of mysterious left overs Tom? Perhaps the cooks could rustle up some Scrapple instead? (For non American members, scrapple is mostly left over porky bits combined with various ingredients from the fridge and vegetable locker.)

Sounds vaguely like "Bubble and Squeak" (No! No! No! Tmac, it's nothing to do with your pet ferret -- just another term for that which ferments in intestines and causes deletirious gasses to exude from the exterior anal orifice.)