virtual crazy gang, part II

[Engine Serang]

When I was in the North Sea the Mate was Winch-King what has changed?

[billyboy]

[QUOTE=Engine Serang;53942]When I was in the North Sea the Mate was Winch-King what has changed?[/QUOTE

We aint got a Mate at the Mo. I have to do everything due to lack of crew.
Excuse me while I go do the Chart corrections.
then i have to go check the towing bridle, grease the horses and see the anti chaffing is done right.

[Engine Serang]

As far as I'm concerned Malcolm G has an acid enough tongue to be a Bucko Mate and YM has the ability to be Second Mate, I'm holding the fort down below and his Lordship's bum is solidly filling the Wireless Shack. The remaining layabouts are understudying their betters and soon will be so tasked.
Social life will resume but as Jimmy Reid said, no bevvying on watch.
BB get your arse on the Bridge and start earning your crust. Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Have I been kicked upstairs?
In the light of BB's comment about having to do everything himself I was about to say that under ES's professional management that everything in the ER was performing like a two bob Swiss Watch but as he has nominated me as suitable for Second Mate I will withdraw that compliment. Obviously, he is trying to get rid of me but no idea why. Perhaps affirmative action might be involved as he was interviewing some bird in a short skirt the other day.

[Engine Serang]

" Like a two bob Swiss Watch", praise indeed. Tmax always said I was, "Like a tuppeny Watch" .

[Malcolm G]

Watches? Did someone say watches?
What kind, Watches that I can repair or watches that I have to stand?
If the first, then I warn you that I have a bench full of the mechanical type waiting work so I am only doing replacement batteries at the moment.

[billyboy]

Ah there you are Malcolm. welcome to the Bridge. Your Mates uniform with three rings my Steward will get you in the morning.
Ah YM as second Mate you will double as tow Master. you will also get new uniforms in the morning. your salerys will increase too.
Now, both Radars are running and clear. ECDIS is on and guiding us well. Iron Mike is steering at the moment. Chart is up to date and our courses marked. Coffee machine just been filled. I will take the 12 -4. I'll let you two decide which watch you want. just let me know later. I'll be down in my day cabin. buzz me if you need anything.

[Varley]

That's a good way to lose your Rolex Sir W. If you've got an open faced gunmetal of reasonable diameter I'll have that off you. My Hebdomas is a bit testing of the eyesight when worn from the buttonhole-buttonhole and the hunter and half hunter too awkward to open unless Albert tethered.

[Tmac1720]

Ahoy fellow crew type persons,, yes it is I, the ghost of Injuneers past and indeed this one is well past it. I just wanted to crawl from my sick bed, its even worser (is that a word?) than I am to wish you all a very Happy Christmas and smooth sailing in the New Year to each of you and your families.

I've been away far too long and I know Squeek and Eric have run riot in the injun room but fingers crossed I will return in the near future and what passes for normal service on the GD will return. It hasn't been the year I would have wished for but as they say in Harland and Bluff shit happens and I've had a sewage farm load dumped on me. Cheer up they said things could be worse, so I did and they were.

Stay safe my friends and have the very best Christmas you can, enjoy every minute and live life to the full and remember never drink and drive.... you'll spill most of it.

[Engine Serang]

it has done my heart, including the stent, a power of good to hear that the Bowler Hat is getting a lot of wear and will be needed for many years to come.
Thank you for your greetings and we sincerely wish you and the family Good Tidings and a powerful New Year.

[Engine Serang]

On a lighter note;
I've had a sewage farm load dumped on me.

We hope this is not the alternative to dumping in Belfast Lough.

[tweediekiwi]

Tidings. That's apt for an ocean going crew. Wonderful time of year and I hope you all have Safe and Happy time during the festivities.
Beware of Santa Claus though, as he only comes once a year and that's normally down your stocking.

[billyboy]

A very merry Christmas to each and every one of you. wishing you a very happy and healthy New year.

[Varley]

The furnace pressure has shot up and there seems to be 'sewage' of the reindeer variety all around the funnel suite. How are we going to tell the children that until Tmac returns to do a little soot blowing there'll be no trace of Santa - an even then I doubt he will be doing much ho-ho (please let me do it!).

Perhaps if we light-off both GG's together that would give a big-enough blow job to launch the fat bugger high enough to clear the monkey island. de,de,de,d...Slay bells ringing .. de,de,d

[Malcolm G]

Following from my little chat with the Grocer chap the other day I decided to have a check on the Galley stores myself:
When did anyone last order stores?
There are potatoes which seem to have grown from previous stock.
There are loaves of cut bread that I had to look up the maker on Wikipedia to know that it was bread.
Having said that, there are boxes and boxes of fish in the freezer - I wonder where they came from..
But, and a big but at this time of year, I could not find a turkey, none, not even a frozen crown whatever that is.
I mean, even a goose would be good, good enough in Dickens' day.
Maybe I can lay my hands on a brace, they might be a bit tough though, not enough time to hang before the festivities.

[rustytrawler]

Fish & chips for me please, heavy on the chips and two slices of Warburtons with lurpack slightly salted.

[Engine Serang]

We passed a Port Health inspection in Eastham less than 5 years ago. And we have a Certificate to prove it. Keep out of the fridges, my friend and stop putting things on paper. Ask yourself "Am I a Career Officer"?

[Malcolm G]

Without a cook it does tend to be every man for himself in there.
I couldn’t resist a quick peep - I just noted the things that were attacking me before I had a chance to attack them.
Never fear I’m not taking an inventory.

If you want fish and chips Rusty, you know where the deep fat fryer is - help yourself.

[billyboy]

Cheese beanies again I expect tonight Coxwain (cut out) at least we have fresh coffee up here to keep us going till 04:00.
Tiny blip on Radar 1 mile astern of us seems to alter course same as we do? strange that!

[Malcolm G]

1 mile? That is one really long towline we’ve got there.
When I went ashore in Monte I found some interesting scrap but the locals did not seem keen to let it go.
They just pointed to an old tug stranded on the breakwater and said - That’s what happens if you try…

[tweediekiwi]

Ooooh! I'm down here by the stern with six big tubes that have Limbo Mortar MkIV stamped on them. Will they shoot for a mile? I'll read the manual whilst I await your instructions ...

[Engine Serang]

Does it look like a hedgehog? If so light the blue touch paper and retire to a safe distance. I would advise the ForeCastle.

[billyboy]

someone is following us, still a mile astern, cant make anything out through the Binopeculiars.
most odd! wonder if its a Submarine?

[YM-Mundrabilla]

I tied our stern to the old tug on the breakwater that BB mentions when we docked.
Didn't anyone untie it when we sailed? Could that be what is following us?
You cannot get good help these days!
Can we insure it before ES lights the blue touch paper?

[billyboy]

old Tug you say...Hmmmmm. Reduce to a tick over .. get the work boat over the wall lads! Cut outs prepare to go check out that tug, take Squeak and Eric with you as there might be something usefull worth Nicking for Tmac,s collection of usefull bits for ''Down Below''. (Known as Raping the Tow readers).
whats left we might sell along the way. always someone wants a cheap live aboard that floats.