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Don't panic !

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  #26  
Old 10th March 2020, 10:20
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A guy on the telly the other night explained how alcohol kills the Corona virus stone dead.

I'm saved, I'm saved !!

One of those sods gets into me, I'll just take another swig, and say: "Suck on that you little f***** !!"

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  #27  
Old 10th March 2020, 13:28
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I'm drinking pints of Domestos as it reputedly kills 99% of all germs..... bloody awful taste but if followed by several large Black Bush it is palatable.
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  #28  
Old 10th March 2020, 13:31
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That Greek stuff is almost as bad as the Spanish. Better than Hibernian Black lacquer-lifter I suppose.
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  #29  
Old 10th March 2020, 16:18
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I can take or leave Domestos regardless of its origin.
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  #30  
Old 10th March 2020, 19:32
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I used to think that Demis Roussos should have used the stage name Domestos. Once he hit those high notes he could send the audience clean out of their minds.
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  #31  
Old 15th March 2020, 21:29
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Snow flakes need not look.

https://youtu.be/Hks6Nq7g6P4
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  #32  
Old 16th March 2020, 12:19
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We have a lock down situation here. Cant go west to Davao city or East to Tagum city. we are self isolated at our house. and I spend a lot of time in my little workshop (man cave) so its making so little difference to me. we are short of nothing we need so no problem we even have toilet rolls (for cleaning my glasses). we bake our own breads, grow our own veg so no Panic here Steve...LOL
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  #33  
Old 16th March 2020, 12:32
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Self sufficient on vegetables? Are you sure it's only for cleaning your glasses?
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
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It is the duty of the wealthy man
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  #34  
Old 16th March 2020, 18:10
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Confusis he say; man eat plenty veg need plenty toilet roll. Wise man.
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  #35  
Old 16th March 2020, 23:34
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Our Government is battling valiantly, as is the EU, to control the spread of the virus by imposing restrictions on travel and closing borders.

Which must explain why I saw articulated rigs travelling North on the M1 this morning displaying registration plates from Poland, Romania, Germany, Portugal, Hungary, France and Spain.

Yep, our masters of the absurd know exactly what to do.
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  #36  
Old 16th March 2020, 23:52
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we are fortunate here to have 2 bowel disposal areas, (2 Loo's la trec) and both are equiped with "Bum- Gun's" of suitable pressure to be able to dislodge cling on's, Fecal mater, Grapes or whatever. Darned clever these H&W sanitary boffins and at high pressure can remove anything that hangs.(testimonials supported with tother hand of course) Chromium hoses of 1.5 meters in length in order to accommodate the larger of the species.
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  #37  
Old 16th March 2020, 23:53
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dartskipper View Post
Our Government is battling valiantly, as is the EU, to control the spread of the virus by imposing restrictions on travel and closing borders.

Which must explain why I saw articulated rigs travelling North on the M1 this morning displaying registration plates from Poland, Romania, Germany, Portugal, Hungary, France and Spain.

Yep, our masters of the absurd know exactly what to do.
Very valid point there Dartskipper. Wondered if they had been refused entry.
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  #38  
Old 17th March 2020, 11:30
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I'm keeping 3 foot from my laptop when on-line to Shipping History, will I be safe?
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  #39  
Old 17th March 2020, 14:08
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"Is it safe ?"
Depends on who you ask ....

https://youtu.be/mqrpPaNm8yw
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  #40  
Old 17th March 2020, 14:08
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As long as you are not sharing the CAT 6 socket with an IoT ventilator.
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
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  #41  
Old 17th March 2020, 15:43
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Have no fear about a toilet roll shortage, each head has been retro fitted with a steam purge line direct from the No1 boiler for your convenience. One blast from the orifice to the stern gland will be sufficient to remove any residue of fecal matter, dingleberries, nobbly bits and any remaining skin. No need to thank your kindly injuneers, we are here to assist. Free drinks in gratitude will be gratefully accepted from those standing at the bar (for obvious reasons)
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I try so hard to make things idiot proof but they keep making better idiots
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  #42  
Old 17th March 2020, 16:46
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Unless you've put a non return valve in that line the problem is going to be when you come to clean that convenience. I would put the power of my sprouts vindaloo with baked cabbage and artichoke surprise up against anything Scotch boilers could produce, double ended or no.

I applaud the attempt to make that highland lacquer loosener into drink by boiling but so far it has just been a waste of fuel.
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David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
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  #43  
Old 17th March 2020, 17:02
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Pah !!! Bunch of pansies.

There's no sandpaper shortage is there ... ? Perfect substitute.
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Corporal Hicks
(Actually Ripley said it first.)
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  #44  
Old 17th March 2020, 17:33
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In days of old when men were bold
and toilet roll wasn't invented
They wiped their ass on a bit of grass
and went away contented.
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Oul scabby knuckles

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Anything God didn't create was made by engineers.

I try so hard to make things idiot proof but they keep making better idiots
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  #45  
Old 17th March 2020, 20:31
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Many boilers have an ogee ring fitted and that's what your ring will be like if you go anywhere near Tmax'ss steam purge contraption.
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  #46  
Old 17th March 2020, 22:08
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClay View Post
Pah !!! Bunch of pansies.

There's no sandpaper shortage is there ... ? Perfect substitute.
Wet'n'dry is more economical as you can rinse it off after every use.

Failing that, 40 Grit emery cloth works a treat. Works just like a grinding wheel but without the detrimental effects to the climate as it uses no fossil fuel generated power supply.
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  #47  
Old 17th March 2020, 23:13
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All this bog roll stuff is a boon for the cartoonists ....
Attached Images
File Type: jpg asteroidroll.jpg (50.1 KB, 35 views)
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"I say we take off, nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."
Corporal Hicks
(Actually Ripley said it first.)
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  #48  
Old 18th March 2020, 07:11
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Bob, your asteroid looks awfully like a big corona virus. Did T-Rex die in vain.
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  #49  
Old 18th March 2020, 09:21
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I never noticed that ..... it must be a conspiracy ...
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Corporal Hicks
(Actually Ripley said it first.)
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  #50  
Old 18th March 2020, 10:26
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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It is of course a conspiracy but is it a Right or Left wing conspiracy?
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