virtual crazy gang, part II

[billyboy]

??? heard of Hot mail and G Mail seems we have crap mail now then

[Engine Serang]

BillyBoy has never had a surprise in the post, a wee 3 door Advent Calendar c/w 3 cardboard spatulas, with directions not half as useful as Mr V's, believe it or not. Indeed I would suggest he runs a Webinar on Zoom to explain the techniques required to successfully complete the "Job".

Remember if you get it wrong you could drop yourself in it.

[billyboy]

I am always "in it"...just the depth that varies.

message from the Agent. we are to proceed to Freemantle where we have a towing job. ship there lost its prop. only a skeleton crew left aboard. she's anchored off shore. we are to take it to Sydney for dry docking. Harbour tugs will take it off us. we will go alongside circular quay for fuel and provisions then go moor at Darling Harbour.

[Engine Serang]

You make it sound like it'll all be over by tea-time. Contract towage or LOF?

[Varley]

My apologies. An important omission.

Do not use the little ice cream spoons again for ice cream and do not dispose of them in the public sewage system.

(A circular quay? Surely we would have to go aroundside rather than alongside).

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Originally Posted by billyboy

I am always "in it"...just the depth that varies.

message from the Agent. we are to proceed to Freemantle where we have a towing job. ship there lost its prop. only a skeleton crew left aboard. she's anchored off shore. we are to take it to Sydney for dry docking. Harbour tugs will take it off us. we will go alongside circular quay for fuel and provisions then go moor at Darling Harbour.

BB just make sure that we stock up on Vegemite whilst in Sydney. I am trying to introduce certain crew members to its acquired taste.

We won't be able to 'launder' our towage money in either of the Sydney (or Melbourne) Casinos. Both are under great clouds for money laundering and other corrupt/criminal activity. A Royal Commission has just been announced to look into Crown in Melbourne. The directors are falling like flies but, thankfully for them, their fall will be cushioned by huge mattresses stuffed with money.

No doubt there will be other things in Sydney to spend our money on.

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

BillyBoy has never had a surprise in the post, a wee 3 door Advent Calendar c/w 3 cardboard spatulas, with directions not half as useful as Mr V's, believe it or not. Indeed I would suggest he runs a Webinar on Zoom to explain the techniques required to successfully complete the "Job".

.

Do not repeat DO NOT play with this "advent calendar" I did and it started a whole world of grief Next thing is you get another but similar test to play with, then you find yourself with various bits of assorted plumbing inserted into the stern gland. This results in you being a captive audience watching a horror film with your internal pipework as the location.

Friends and fellow maritime persons, take a warning from an "oul hand"..unless you have masochistic tendencies do NOT experiment with the little windows. If it ain't broke don't try to fix it otherwise you will find yourselves in the sh1t in more ways than one

[Engine Serang]

Breakdown Maintenance or Preventative Maintenance? I'm for the latter, every time.
I've had two Advent Calendars from the NHS which were, with the best will in the world, messy. And one from my Private Health Insurer which required an ear bud rubbed along the bottom, before Mrs Andrex, and sealed in a wee glass bottle. All were negative and I'm sure no sane person would want to poke around there just to keep things ticking over until lunch time.

[Tmac1720]

Good advice from ES folks, never, repeat NEVER ignore any bridge alarm, always investigate the cause even if it turns out to be a false alarm. In these days of UMS going with the "oul injuneers gut feeling" can be a life saver. Trust me I've been there and have the boilersuit to prove it.

[Varley]

I am not sure how I would do a webinar. I do not 'do' computing on my portable telephone. Some of those that do, solo, are quite successful but when couples joined our Friday zoomtails (when Friday lunch was locked out) most were not. When two share a clever telephone they remind me of nothing more than a pair of gerbils peering out of a doll's house window.

I 'do' the vidstuff with a webcam at my playroom desk. I fear the techniques I have outlined for keeping brown investigations in their proper place do not lend themselves to being transferred from their normal site, three doors down. I can assure you the only faecal matter that has been deposited in my playroom has been entirely of the accidental kind.

I also find it a bit rich that the antipodeans snipe at this temperate Isle in their daytime televisual mind rotting productions for alleged financial crime. In this they are copying the whinging of a certain Hibernian, whose homeland in that regard is certainly 'no better than it should be' (in the below-stairs vernacular) and who posts here often.

Our record is spotless (perhaps not in care but certainly in policy) now we find those carping from a distance are up to their little sunburned arses in corruption. In spades (probably also hearts, diamonds and clubs. Not too mention double zeroes). He that is with a greenhouse among you. Let him cast the first stone at us!

[Engine Serang]

I don't know what occasioned such a rant but it's the old story, rant away and put up a smokescreen to divert eyes away from the streets of Douglas awash with dirty money. Her Britannic Majesty must be proud of her God Fearing, but shady, citizens and subjects.
Will the Lockdown be eased for the TT's? I'm spending the afternoon lapping in the valves on my Norton Dominator, Tmax thinks I use a Chris Marine machine, bless him.

[billyboy]

Weighing anchor, all hands to stations (no trains)
Fire em up Tmac!...slow ahead both...we are off through the suet channel bound for Freemantle.

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by YM-Mundrabilla

BB just make sure that we stock up on Vegemite whilst in Sydney.

I demand to be told where Vegemite sits on the IMDG Code. Is it an explosive? I am aware that it can cause explosions and is as unstable as Octel.
Why should I risk life and limb to have a brown sludge on my toast at breakfast or prendre le petit déjeuner as they say in Mundrabilla.

[Varley]

I think that it is the involvement with that assassin of the intellect, 'daytime TV', that rankles most. The great unwashed (surely avid daytime TV watchers) may take the script as documentary.

I have just discovered a guest at tonight's braised brisket is a vegetarian. Will adding Vegmite be enough to vegetarianise the stew?

[Engine Serang]

Add Octel, best recipe for vgeans and their Ilk.
Wish I was having brisket tonight. Big fan of brisket, shin, ox-tail, liver and kidneys but heart I give a wide berth.

[Varley]

Whom the eating gods would destroy they first make mad?

Liver and bacon, kidney in the snake'n'pygmy. Not so much of the others.

[billyboy]

well we are passed the Pie-Ramids and that queer thing with a lions head. JUst them long legged things with the humps about now.

[Engine Serang]

Internal Memo.

To: Chief Tmax British Steel.

From: Staff Chief E-S.

Our Deep Tank is empty. I washed out the last of The Hon V's moustache wax last night so as it would help kill the smell of the Suet Canal. Which it did, grand stuff.
The Deep Tanks are now available to accept a packet of bulk liquid Vegemite should you and YM agree an acceptable trade-off. It's a tricky cargo needing a 4 valve separation at all times, 2 valves to isolate from HP Sauce and Mango Chutney and 2 valves to keep it from God Fearing People.
Boss I'll leave it to you.

[Varley]

'About now'. I can't put that in an ETA or TOGO. Just ignore them, if we hit one the office will never know.

Perhaps if E-S looked a little less like a French Foreign Legionnaire in weekend Mufti they might not be so attracted to us in the first place.

(I am not Belgian. I do not wax it!)

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

I demand to be told where Vegemite sits on the IMDG Code. Is it an explosive? I am aware that it can cause explosions and is as unstable as Octel.
Why should I risk life and limb to have a brown sludge on my toast at breakfast or prendre le petit déjeuner as they say in Mundrabilla.

Same appearance, DG class and handling precautions as Bunker C. It can make quite a mess. Not sure as to its calorific value.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Originally Posted by billyboy

well we are passed the Pie-Ramids and that queer thing with a lions head. JUst them long legged things with the humps about now.

There were quite a few things with bumps and long legs at Port Melbourne Beach this morning that I just happened to see whilst photographing some ships.

[Engine Serang]

Honestly Officer I was just photographing that big Pommie meat boat.

(You dirty devil).

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Internal Memo.

To: Chief Tmax British Steel.

From: Staff Chief E-S.

Our Deep Tank is empty. I washed out the last of The Hon V's moustache wax last night so as it would help kill the smell of the Suet Canal. Which it did, grand stuff.
The Deep Tanks are now available to accept a packet of bulk liquid Vegemite should you and YM agree an acceptable trade-off. It's a tricky cargo needing a 4 valve separation at all times, 2 valves to isolate from HP Sauce and Mango Chutney and 2 valves to keep it from God Fearing People.
Boss I'll leave it to you.

Ummm I need to thunk aboot that.... Nah don't stuff in into the deep tank as I am expecting a delivery of Guinness very soon. My own special blend XXXX grade
Tell you what pump it into the forward ballast tank and press it up until you see an ooze from the swan neck, that should keep it stable and well away from any perishable goods. Give Master V a sounding stick, torch, a big pair of wellies and a spoon with clear instructions on how to obtain a gas free condition. That should keep him occupied for a day or three.

[Varley]

I am very fond of brassicas and legumes so I am afraid we will have to bribe the chemist as usual.

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Varley

I am very fond of brassicas and legumes so I am afraid we will have to bribe the chemist as usual.

Cabbage and carrots me oul china, cabbage and carrots.