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virtual crazy gang, part II

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  #5026  
Old 27th May 2019, 11:14
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Definitely the sub-metre brassica. If one needs to bugger them about than crispy bacon and chestnuts serve well. For a dare, or so we thought, we did competitive sprout pickling last winter (mine did not win) we had thought it the most unlikely new comestible to the table. Not a bit of it. There are dozens of recipes. One of the competitors has had his accepted for novel bar snacks (but then the publican also got into hot water over advertising hedgehog en croute).
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
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Last edited by Varley; 27th May 2019 at 23:24.
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  #5027  
Old 27th May 2019, 23:09
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Damn you metal manglers, I can't follow all this technical talk.

Red-17, would you care for a walk through the gardens, everyone else is being gross.
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  #5028  
Old 28th May 2019, 06:43
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Red-17, would you care for a walk through the gardens, everyone else is being gross.
I am not 144 --- I'm only 80 (somewhere about 21 in my head -- if only the rest would follow !!)
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  #5029  
Old 28th May 2019, 06:44
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Picking up the pilot for Puerto Montt -- berthing alongside the cruise ship dock. Never been here before so the natives should not be unduly hostile.
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  #5030  
Old 28th May 2019, 11:08
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Varley tells me that after 10 pints the natives are always hostile towards you.
And I believe him.
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  #5031  
Old 29th May 2019, 06:14
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Varley tells me that after 10 pints the natives are always hostile towards you.
And I believe him.
Depends on whether I had them buy, or not.
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  #5032  
Old 29th May 2019, 06:28
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Quietly alongside -- Exploratory bar crawl starts in 30 mins. Perhaps would be cost effective to hire a local guide?? Are, here's a gentleman who seems well acquainted with the local hostelries.
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  #5033  
Old 29th May 2019, 10:04
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Quietly alongside -- Exploratory bar crawl starts in 30 mins. Perhaps would be cost effective to hire a local guide?? Are, here's a gentleman who seems well acquainted with the local hostelries.
Yes Tom, let's get him out of the gutter and cleaned up a bit. Check him for a wallet. He seems to be pointing at that place with "Ruby's Rough house" over the door, the one where a piano just came flying out the window, complete with stool and pianist. I think we should get a drink there. Don't take his boots... Oh, they are quite good and they fit.

The night beckons...
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  #5034  
Old 29th May 2019, 12:09
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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"Ruby's Rough house" must be near "Ruby's Chop Suey" on Hessle Road. Your navigation is suspect or V is still buggering about with his infernal Lightening Machine up in the rigging. Tmac calls it the Van Der Varley Generator, droll or what?
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  #5035  
Old 29th May 2019, 13:58
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A lightening machine! My doctor would love me to use one of those (not sure if an infernal one would not be a rather painful way of slimming). Tmac should be able to tell the difference between Van der Stephie generator and a Wimshurst machine by now. One has balls and the other not and neither are safe to bugger, so I am informed. Any fizzing in the rigging is not down to me.
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #5036  
Old 30th May 2019, 12:40
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Right you scurvy lot have really extracted the urine and I'm not happy.... further if any of you jokers ask "which dwarf are you then?" be prepared to eat your meals through a straw.

Why am I so pissed off?... someone thought it funny to open the sluice valves into the injun room.... yeah feckin' hilarious: Up to my oxters in water and not helped by Squeek and Eric performing synchronised swimming past the control platform.

When I get the compartment pumped out and those two miscreant rodents dried out...have you ever smelt damp rat and squirrel fur? I shall come among you and point out the error of your ways...........
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  #5037  
Old 30th May 2019, 15:30
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I should be careful what you do , even in the privacy of your sleeping cabin, dwarf tossing attract an awful lot of politically correct brick throwing, chaining of wimin to railings etc.

Are you saying anything below the middles is going to do mega-badly until you mop it up (see what I did there? Small Leckie-joke as opposed to small-Leckie joke which it can't be).
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #5038  
Old 30th May 2019, 16:25
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have you ever smelt damp rat and squirrel fur?
Well of course I have, it takes me back to my old grannies coat (not actually her pelt, but, you know?). A walk round Harrogate in the rain and then, that smell all the way home on the bus.
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  #5039  
Old 30th May 2019, 17:46
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Harrogate in the rain, the tears are streaming down my cheeks. Why did I ever go to sea?
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  #5040  
Old 30th May 2019, 22:50
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reminds me of a packed bus on a rainy day day in Brighton Farmer John. a smell that sticks with you forever.
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  #5041  
Old 30th May 2019, 23:12
Pilot24 Northern Ireland Pilot24 is offline
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Right you scurvy lot have really extracted the urine and I'm not happy.... further if any of you jokers ask "which dwarf are you then?" be prepared to eat your meals through a straw.

Why am I so pissed off?... someone thought it funny to open the sluice valves into the injun room.... yeah feckin' hilarious: Up to my oxters in water and not helped by Squeek and Eric performing synchronised swimming past the control platform.

When I get the compartment pumped out and those two miscreant rodents dried out...have you ever smelt damp rat and squirrel fur? I shall come among you and point out the error of your ways...........

Oh! Henry Halls,thought it was you and the mate who sent the two of us poor cadets down to clear the sump out and then all I heard was silence from my mate........ "you OK?" " Aye, no bother just having a warm up Jimmy Riddle!" Turns out it warms the boiler suit in a cold enviroment!!! (Truth or not? Up to the reader.)
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  #5042  
Old 31st May 2019, 05:43
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Oh! Aye, no bother just having a warm up Jimmy Riddle!" Turns out it warms the boiler suit in a cold environment!!! (Truth or not? Up to the reader.)
Used to work wonders in the swim suit in the outdoor pool !! (Message to self -- swim to the other side of the pool ASAP)
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  #5043  
Old 31st May 2019, 05:46
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reminds me of a packed bus on a rainy day day in Brighton Farmer John. a smell that sticks with you forever.
The last tram down the Paisley Road from Cardonald to the Princess Docks didn't smell too swift even when it was empty.
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  #5044  
Old 31st May 2019, 05:48
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Make the most of your last night on the town lads -- leaving tomorrow after full English in the PAX lounge. Contracted to be in Buenos Aires PDQ.
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  #5045  
Old 31st May 2019, 11:00
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Aye aye Tom. Lets hope nothing else has been contracted ashore.
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  #5046  
Old 1st June 2019, 06:41
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Aye aye Tom. Lets hope nothing else has been contracted ashore.
Measles ??????
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  #5047  
Old 1st June 2019, 06:47
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Here we go everyone -- bacon, sausages, ham, eggs, pan fries, sauteed mushrooms, braised tomatoes, black puddin', also kippers, smoked haddock in milk, chip butties, beetroot sarnies and sardines on toast. Then we're on our way.
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  #5048  
Old 1st June 2019, 11:03
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I'll settle for the proper breakfast (the marriage of which to black pudding I consider an unnatural one). By tomorrow I expect the smoked haddock (a middle cut of a mature fish) to be available poached in chilli-milk (one chilli per pint overnight). Kedgeree on the side of a Sunday morning?

(I am sure Red will know but I suggest you can tell the measles easily. If the chest and arms are covered with red blotches that may be measles. Perhaps, alternatively, Rubella. If it's your bollocks that's blotchy, likely it's the clap).
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David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #5049  
Old 1st June 2019, 11:51
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I just been to the heads. Still peeing in a single jet so all clear for now.
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  #5050  
Old 1st June 2019, 12:36
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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If the chest and arms are covered with red blotches that may be measles. Perhaps, alternatively, Rubella. If it's your bollocks that's blotchy, likely it's the clap.

You'd pay Euro 65 in Dublin for a diagnosis such as that. This website is saving me a fortune.
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