virtual crazy gang, part II

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

ES, you will find sleeping in future difficult, all wood of any description has been removed from your accommodation and will be used to repair your wanton vandalism to our wonderful vessel the Golden Dreamer.

Not a harsh punishment, merely a just one.

Barstards, every bit of wood has been taken from my Stateroom. Barstards even took the Wormwood from my hidden bottle of Absinthe. Both the Grande and Petite Wormwood. No little nighty-night for ES tonight. Pity the bonfire didn't burn the bridge front wood cladding, would break FJ's heart, if he has one.

[Farmer John]

I do have a heart, you nearly broke it when you gave more importance to your own amusement than to the GD.

What is your Father's brother?

[Varley]

I know I told you I could repair that high energy ignitor pack but then E-S welded my workshop door shut. Don't those beautifully seasoned teak wands smell lovely when trying to light off using them. I see the third is having a go with for the boiler too.

[Farmer John]

Et tu, Varley?

The GD is our home and our pride, also our transport and our refuge. Don't burn bits of it.

[Dartskipper]

I'm beginning to think that somebody, not of the deck department, thought it would be a spiffing wheeze to burn off the many coats of meticulously applied marine varnish with a gas axe. Much faster than hand applied abrasive materials I will admit, but speed is not always a virtue.

As the actress said to the telegraph boy.

[Engine Serang]

What a spiffing name for the Sparks, "The Telegraph Boy". Demeaning but not actually abusive.
You should Post more often, DS.

[Varley]

"Not of the deck department" - some sort of rock dodger, unspecific put-down?

E-S, use that when you want to 'phone home and spifflicating will be nearer the mark.

[Engine Serang]

Are you talking of the good-ole-days when Sparkey would persevere on the VHF trying to raise some godawful coast station and plead to be patched in to Portishead or Portpatrick or Wick, yes Wick wherever the hell that is, to connect to British Telecom or was it the GPO. Happy days, and expensive days.
BTW are you still flogging Vernons Pools?

[Varley]

Were that the way I done it you'd've been entitled to your Gold Franc back.

I have never cheated at the pools!

[Dartskipper]

Originally Posted by Varley

"Not of the deck department" - some sort of rock dodger, unspecific put-down?

E-S, use that when you want to 'phone home and spifflicating will be nearer the mark.

Each department has its own traditions and long established practices. Sadly in these more collaborative and democratic times, the differences have become somewhat amalgamated. F'rinstance, in my Dad's days at sea as an apprentice in 1938, he was quietly informed by the Mate that oil and water never mix, and he shouldn't fraternise with the engine room personnel. When I got to mess about in small passenger craft in the 1970's I was Master and Engineer. When on deck, I was the deck crowd. When down the hatch, I was chief grease monkey. I tried to keep the two activities apart, but I'm afraid it may have started the mild schizophrenia.

Ask the Admiral, he will know.

[billyboy]

Navigation and Screaming Jimmies should never be mixed I was told.....LOL

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by billyboy

Navigation and Screaming Jimmies should never be mixed I was told.....LOL

LOL

LOL 243 Star of Broughshane.

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

LOL

LOL 243 Star of Broughshane.

Your first lodge I presume.

Not a patch on the Rising Sons of Ahoghill

If you aren't from Norn Iron pronouncing Ahoghill should prove challenging

[Engine Serang]

Trying to find it can also be challenging. I once set sail for Ahoghill and ended up in Cullybackey; Tom-Tom, Garmin, Ecdis or Sextant was of little use. A detour on the canal via Moneyglass helped pick up a lane on the Decca Navigator and all was well.

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by billyboy

Navigation and Screaming Jimmies should never be mixed I was told.....LOL

Sir William, both the Navigation and the Screaming Jimmies are mixed, just inter and not between.

Can anyone tell me when we docked in Belfast? Our occupant of the stocks seems to be going a little homesick and his maunderings are spreading through even the best of our crew.

Sir William, any little messages you would like us to run? Preferably easy to fulfill and very lucrative.

[Dartskipper]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Trying to find it can also be challenging. I once set sail for Ahoghill and ended up in Cullybackey; Tom-Tom, Garmin, Ecdis or Sextant was of little use. A detour on the canal via Moneyglass helped pick up a lane on the Decca Navigator and all was well.

Two Brixham trawler skippers were overheard arguing on VHF. One was convinced he had right of way over the other because he was following a green line on the Decca chart, and the other was on a red line. (As told to me by Bob Ould, trawler owner of Torquay.)

Navigation isn't always what it is assumed to be.

[Varley]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Your first lodge I presume.

Not a patch on the Rising Sons of Ahoghill

If you aren't from Norn Iron pronouncing Ahoghill should prove challenging

It is not the geography but the physiology. It is, probably, easy to enunciate when the uvula has been bathed in potato spirit since childhood. Whether therapeutically recommended or otherwise. In the same way as Featherstonhaugh rolls effortless from the tongue if you are from Cholmondeley

[billyboy]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

Sir William, both the Navigation and the Screaming Jimmies are mixed, just inter and not between.

Can anyone tell me when we docked in Belfast? Our occupant of the stocks seems to be going a little homesick and his maunderings are spreading through even the best of our crew.

Sir William, any little messages you would like us to run? Preferably easy to fulfill and very lucrative.

Have a word with Tom FJ. He has a direct sat phone line with the agent now. Any jobs for us then Tom will be the first to know.

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Varley

It is, probably, easy to enunciate when the uvula has been bathed in potato spirit

The ladies will not be pleased with their private parts being mentioned in plain language, Varley should be sent to his cabin directly after supper. A few days of this treatment will remind him of what Nanny told him about Gentlemen and Manners.

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

The ladies will not be pleased with their private parts being mentioned in plain language, Varley should be sent to his cabin directly after supper. A few days of this treatment will remind him of what Nanny told him about Gentlemen and Manners.

Aye I agree...whatever he said

Anyhoo what's a lady with a Volvo got to do with it?

[Varley]

Nanny (the late Miss Eva Goring) would have been horrified to think that Master David would have then been thinking of lip-uvula clearance (or beyond even) and Torricelli. And no more was he.

However the little beast might, even than, have known that it was an above the belt thing and not to do with 'down there' as E-S implies.

Why is did FJ have to shout at Sir William to get an answer, has the willie-screaming done for his hearing aid?

[Farmer John]

Any one expecting a man called Denis driving a red Volvo? He is waiting on the quay.

Call for Denis in a Volvo.

My hearing is fine, I am not the shouter, I am the shoutee.

[billyboy]

Denise with a red vulva??? thats no good Tmac prefers black bushes

[Engine Serang]

Shirley has had a 2 year break, is this a record?

[Farmer John]

Shirley Knott?