virtual crazy gang, part II

[billyboy]

Phew! just done 5 laps of the boat deck. gentle stroll up to the sharp end and back. time to open the crews bar.
Tannoy: now hear this< Crew bar now open!

[Engine Serang]

5 laps? What a hero and an example to us all. 5 Laps is the equivalent of a teaspoonful of rum or an eggcup full of beer.
You lazy bugger, go and mow the lawn like some of your shipmates and enjoy a well earned pint.

[Varley]

First time in two or so years I have done all the grass without my knees being overly-generous of gyp. Pity it's not busy with the usual suspects sipping, swearing and malletting (how will the horseflies survive without them?)

[Engine Serang]

If you would remove the cow-pats and horse-pats and all other faecal matter the horseflies, clegs in these parts, will tootle off to the neighbours. And Lady Cynthia can sip and swear to her hearts content.

[Varley]

I do not have those. What I do have is McDonalds and have long suspected their produce and the unbagged dog mess (perhaps preferable to my opinion of it which you have accurately described) as the causes. With that source of sustenance denied them the question is will there be more looking to feed off me or will they move on to pasture viler?

(Lady C will be most welcome when unlockup comes. Is she also from enemy occupied Hibernia?)

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by billyboy

time to open the crews bar.
Tannoy: now hear this< Crew bar now open!

I feel a need to bathe my mouth in some alcohol, I have just seen the mower! I may get it out, but the Cowslips, Speedwells, violets, bluebells, forget -me-nots and Fox-and-cubs leave me with little space. Somewhere to put a chair under the Bamboo, Roses and Apple-tree is most of what is needed.

[Tmac1720]

Injuneers don't grow flowers we grows weeds, no maintenance required...simples

Did somebody mention the bar was open? An enterprising chap here in Belfast since his bar was forcibly closed by the "thought police" started a door to door delivery service of pints etc. All was well until the rozzers got wind of the enterprise and shut it down. He is now facing prosecution for breach of the licensing laws.... Big Brother is alive and well in Norn Iron.

[Varley]

I am not sure what law would be being broken. Not sure now or in Hibernia but when I were a lad alcohol delivered by a licensed victualler (most grocers) was not otherwise regulated and most publicans also did off-licence. I think Bushy's is offering just that service by the polypin - with only me locked down here that would be rather too much (especially as my weight seems obligingly on the down at the moment). As a 12 year old my case of Mackeson arrived on a Saturday morning from Cullens along with Pa's crate of Whitbread pale ale.

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Varley

As a 12 year old my case of Mackeson arrived on a Saturday morning from Cullens along with Pa's crate of Whitbread pale ale.

This explains a lot and is a strong indicator that deep and intense councilling is required.
Once the authorities become aware of this state of affairs you will be taken into care, your stomach pumped and you put on a nice barley water diet. You may be given scrambled eggs and toast in week 2.

Good luck.

[Varley]

In those same days the aged Ps could rely on me being dried out at school (well until mid teens anyway. A faulty latch allowed ingress and egress and it was tacitly agreed which bars were for boys and which for staff. Also the little earner of babysitting might be accompanied by a small sherry).

Scrambled egg on toast is no punishment - except when taken ambitiously on one new year's morning - four finger spread decorated the stairwell. Just about got it cleared up before Ma caught me. Such episodes thankfully were and remain few and far between. But telling. As when discovering my waste paper bin was not 'weatherproof'.

[billyboy]

Yawn....Bored now. need to liven things up a bit.
Tannoy: attention all Engineers. Free bar in the pax lounge bar for you Gents and hosifers. Deckies continue chipping and painting.

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by billyboy

Deckies continue chipping and painting.

And if the Deck Cadets find Rigel or Sirius hiding around No2 hatch coaming they are to give them a double coat of red lead.

Have the Grocer lay down newspapers on the deck to soak up the lub oil from the black gang's dungarees, and protect the carpet. Prejudices must be protected in these troubled times.

[Varley]

Not sure I agree, that Rigel and his 'friend' have not paid one round that I remember. If they are allowed to welch yet again it should be tar and feathers.

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by billyboy

Deckies continue chipping and painting.

Well. that's my nails done, I feel ready for anything (almost).

I am getting used to swinging at anchor.

[Engine Serang]

Adults can of course Swing, but I would suggest doing it on the Fore Castle could be cold and damp.

[Varley]

I suggested to the, game I thought, lady organisers of a Teapot Trust Tea and Swing 'do' (sadly corvid-cancelled of course) that the Island may not be entirely ready for that degree of liberation but that I would do my best to rustle up some interested donors.

I was surprised to find out they meant a 'thé dansant' with which, I fancy, much of the Island demographic might find 'in tune' if not passé. As for the cold and damp. we usually have that in spades too just not last week.

[Engine Serang]

Keep faith with the Earl Grey and chocolate digestives, the Matrons of Mona are far from broadminded.

[billyboy]

Typhoo with oatmeal biscuits for me.

[Farmer John]

Cocoa made with conny-onny, a stout belt of rum and a marshmallow dipped in it.

I threw up.

Nice cold water with a Bath Oliver.

[Varley]

My preference is Sincha. But if there is rum going I could be made to forego the tea when yard is over forearm or whatever. As for cocoa that is another preschool memory we were supposed to be grateful for the vile muck that purported to be cocoa. For instance it was served to finish of Guy Fawkes night. The gym, where any such night time musters were held had a piano and this was a convenient if risky repository for getting rid of it.

[billyboy]

Oh Rum with everything dear chap. Drop of Nelsons blood goes down well.

[Engine Serang]

Forget Nelson, he's only a tourist attraction putting coin of the realm into Portsmouth's piggy bank.
Rum with everything is the sort of vintage thinking that is not appropriate on this ship.
Stop.

[billyboy]

Start: this ship has navigated some never before been navigated seas with great success thanks to Tom and his Four Bell's so I am afraid Rum is in fact an important part of this fine ship. Although MY personal preference is for a 12 year old Malt, Mr Varley prefers a very rare vintage Port (with a fine cigar) and Tmac of course love a fine Black bush. we all have our differences you see......Cheers!

[Varley]

Thank heavens they didn't pickle him in whisk(e)y. There'd have been nothing left of him to process to St Paul's and the coffinmakers would have had trouble keeping it glued and varnished had they simply sieved the barrel into the casket.

(By the by. Tawny not vintage. Prefer the style. And the price).

[Engine Serang]

Oh, the impoverished gentry.
Shock, horror, Lord V keeps his Weetabix in a Tupperware box!