virtual crazy gang, part II

[Farmer John]

I'll have a pint of Guiness and Creme-de-menthe, please, Sir William. Let's keep it civilised.

[Varley]

Just water and a dash of bitters for me.

Sitrep:

Now taking to blowing seawater up each nostril several times a day as well as the steroids (the recipe of a Countess of my dining and croqueting acquaintance. I had to, otherwise I feared going on to her usual medicinal conclusion which is using one's own 'water' if you get the passing reference - there's no old wife's tale like an Irish old wife's tale).

Perhaps I'll have to move on to that. Everything now tastes like it's had some of the Atlantic added to it.

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

I'll have a pint of Guiness and Creme-de-menthe, please, Sir William. Let's keep it civilised.

The slice of lemon sets it off wonderfully.

Varley, how about living underground for a week or so? In my experience, when you emerge, you can smell everything, the grass, the soil, everything.

[billyboy]

I have a salt water sprayer for my nasal passages Varley. Have to use it at least twice a day. seem to have so many allergies these days.

[billyboy]

Glass of water with a dash of Guinness it (it will look beer then varley) for Mr Varley please.

[billyboy]

Oh heck, Tmac just gave that waitress a Titanic Rivet. Silly girl is asking how you put batteries in it!

[Varley]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

The slice of lemon sets it off wonderfully.

Varley, how about living underground for a week or so? In my experience, when you emerge, you can smell everything, the grass, the soil, everything.

The only contractor I have employed for 'underground' was chosen as he undertook to make sure his customer stayed there. He's had enough of our custom for a year or two - I HOPE. He also set fire to them first which I would find uncomfortable, time enough to burn later.

[Varley]

Originally Posted by billyboy

I have a salt water sprayer for my nasal passages Varley. Have to use it at least twice a day. seem to have so many allergies these days.

That would cap it all and cap it badly. Allergic to alcohol! I don't think it's that as I don't swell up and go blue with Annie's Fatalic Shock. As an indicator of how bad it is I had asparagus last week. Not a hint of it when going to pee.

[Dartskipper]

Originally Posted by billyboy

I have a salt water sprayer for my nasal passages Varley. Have to use it at least twice a day. seem to have so many allergies these days.

If salt water in the passages doesn't have the desired affect Sir William, try WD80 to displace it. (It's like WD40 but works twice as fast.) The white spirit might make your eyes water a bit, and you'll smell just like a freshly polished engine room.

[ssr481]

Originally Posted by billyboy

Thats a good idea Tom. A nice sociable evening would be good for the entire ships comapany....Crew bonding and all that.

Hey Boss, I'm in.. as long as it doesn't conflict with the Lads in their quest for another Stanley Cup (yeah, I know, they shoulda lost this game, but stole it back)...

[Varley]

Originally Posted by Dartskipper

If salt water in the passages doesn't have the desired affect Sir William, try WD80 to displace it. (It's like WD40 but works twice as fast.) The white spirit might make your eyes water a bit, and you'll smell just like a freshly polished engine room.

Bugger Sir William's problem I'll put that on my list to try after Armacleen and M'Lady's latest recipee (once it's cooled from bladder temperature).

[Tom Alexander]

[QUOTE=Varley;4023]That would cap it all and cap it badly. Allergic to alcohol! /QUOTE]

I'm allergic to 151 proof rum -- drink 3/4 of a bottle and I get a hell of a headache the next morning. Can't figure it out!

[Tom Alexander]

Sir William, this is a really nice bar. Very nice barmaid. Subdued lighting. Ladies to buy drinks for. (At least I hope they're ladies -- seen too many bars where they turn out not to be!) Anyway, here's to all of us.

[billyboy]

Cheers Tom, all the best mate. Oh, the lights are dimming....The little stage is getting brighter.......Wow very pretty lady look, perhaps she's the singer. Too hot for her up there she's taking her clothes off....Oh I cant look...its rude! But I suppose i had better look just for educational purposes though.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Originally Posted by billyboy

Cheers Tom, all the best mate. Oh, the lights are dimming....The little stage is getting brighter.......Wow very pretty lady look, perhaps she's the singer. Too hot for her up there she's taking her clothes off....Oh I cant look...its rude! But I suppose i had better look just for educational purposes though.

Education and patent medication at the same location and time. That's efficiency for you.........

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Originally Posted by billyboy

Cheers Tom, all the best mate. Oh, the lights are dimming....The little stage is getting brighter.......Wow very pretty lady look, perhaps she's the singer. Too hot for her up there she's taking her clothes off....Oh I cant look...its rude! But I suppose i had better look just for educational purposes though.

Is that a red bikini she's taking off?
Education and patent medication at the same location and time. That's efficiency for you.........

[billyboy]

good heavens Tom she is naked already! looks like an ace of spades! Oh my this could get funny she's heading for Farmer John heh heh

[Farmer John]

Yes, my dear, I do remember your mother. I hope the operation went well. These are my friends, the ones giggling into their hankies. No, they wouldn't be doing that. Nice to meet you, your terpsichorean muse calls.

[Dartskipper]

In joints like this one, have you noticed that the price of the drinks is in direct inverse proportion to the level of the lighting? Also, as the price of the drinks increases, the level of alcohol content diminishes?

I was told to keep out of clip joints, but I thought they were where you went for a haircut.

[Dartskipper]

Originally Posted by billyboy

good heavens Tom she is naked already! looks like an ace of spades! Oh my this could get funny she's heading for Farmer John heh heh

Don't worry Sir William, she just wants to get closer to the audience so that she can hold us in the palm of her hand. Possibly she might get a firm grip on proceedings and keep everyone under control. If we stay calm, she won't have to call for security to take down our particulars and check out our credentials.

[Dartskipper]

[QUOTE=Tom Alexander;4057]

Originally Posted by Varley

That would cap it all and cap it badly. Allergic to alcohol! /QUOTE]

I'm allergic to 151 proof rum -- drink 3/4 of a bottle and I get a hell of a headache the next morning. Can't figure it out!

That's where you're making your mistake Tom, you should drink the whole bottle. That way you won't wake up in the morning, so you won't know if you have a headache or not.

[Dartskipper]

Originally Posted by Varley

Bugger Sir William's problem I'll put that on my list to try after Armacleen and M'Lady's latest recipee (once it's cooled from bladder temperature).

Sorry to hear you are still struggling with the assorted ailments, Varley. I was going to suggest a short constitutional around the poop deck.

[Varley]

That's kind but as I can't presently smell anything I might step in some of it by accident. I'll get my stick and we'll do the main deck if it's all the same to you.

[Red-17]

Originally Posted by Varley

My profound apologies Red. Global Maritime Distress and Safety System. The largely automated system operating in various wavebands and with user interfaces that allowed the intelligence conveyed over the air to be sent and received without the interlocution of a telegraphist. In, say 1971, when Mrs Varley's little boy first sat at a live 'key', a human at one end had to transcribe text into Morse (usually by eye and fleetingly) and the receiver had to transcribe it by ear and write or type it out for delivery to the addressee. All else of operation was in the calling and establishing a 'conversation in Morse between sending and receiving station. We also kept the kit in good order and fixed it when it broke (although my experience one leave with the depot staff at East Ham left me with an excellent idea of how good and bad some of us where at that!).

Marconi Form S-3 was the red pad used to take down the received message:

Thank you kind sir for the explanation, as always you went above and beyond my expectations. I would have been just as happy if the answer was simply Global Maritime Distress and Safety System.

[Tom Alexander]

Ah! Red Come up to the wheelhouse -- I have some Dom Perignon on ice (OK Pats, you most certainly are invited too) and I'll show you our ECDIS