virtual crazy gang, part II

[Sparkie2182]

I'll run that through my GCHQ handler and see if it answers my query.



Faversham wants to know if you live at Fairy Bridge?.....he's sure he once saw you in Douglas.

[Engine Serang]

I was distraught for a few days because I mistakenly read your Poster as a Poser and believed it quite unfair. I always distrust my Spelcheck as my MS Works id Black Market from Nicaragua.
Despite the above i'm surprised some of my so called shipmates did not notice and correct me. Tmax has taken to the bottle, Varley can't read and YM is running on the wrong gauge.
By the way you're very welcome and I think you'll agree with me that the rift between SH and SN is approaching Northern Ireland (Norn Irn, T ) protocol levels.

[Sparkie2182]

Damn that Nicaraguan software......

I only wanted some water......

[Sparkie2182]

I'm not sure about the NI protocol levels....SN makes South Yemen look like Singapore.

[Engine Serang]

Shipmates, my Laptop has been invaded by a deadly virus which fills my Inbox with indecipherable messages. In despair I contacted Charlies Computer Clinic who checked it out and found it to be the awful 2182 Virus. His software could not wipe it out and he advised living with it.
Has anyone else been invaded by 2182 and is there a cure? Please revert and a prize will be given for the best solution.

[Malcolm G]

You could just ignore it and hope it goes away, but better plan is the face it and actively compete against it.
You might even enjoy it.
There are even jigsaws in there and you know you like them…

[Varley]

Ethyl Protocol? Is this some new fermented squeezing from the bothies of HNM's lost territories to the West?

(While we are about it, can I say that it is alright for your valet to collect your meals but would you mind ensuring he(?) uses the galley outside hatch. Trapsing through the saloon in only a mankini is just not the done thing on Dreamer. Especially before the post breakfast tincture).

[Sparkie2182]

"in only a mankini"

Faversham reckons he has been greatly misinformed about Denholms.

[billyboy]

What the ....
what the heck was that just went jogging passed the forard mast house? I was in there cleaning me bike when it passed. Flourescent green garment barely covering his testimonials.
I need a drink...Steward! large scotch on the rocks!

[Malcolm G]

Fluorescent green? It looked more dayglo yellow to me. Perhaps there’s two of them.

[Varley]

Of course there's two of them. Fairly obvious when he stands-up straight (fluorescing are they? Better ask the agent for an MO's visit).

[Sparkie2182]

"on the rocks"

Perhaps not the best choice of words.

[Malcolm G]

Fluorescing or flourescing?
My science teacher pointed out, many decades ago, that Bakers and Millers Flouresce..

[Sparkie2182]

He must have been on some good stuff.

[Varley]

So the product of an engineer is an enginescence? (I think I heard Tmac rhyming Paxman with it once).

[billyboy]

Tmac gave me some extra gears on me Bike. can ride up onto the focsul easy now. but when I tried the forard mast a pedal got caught in a halyard.

[Engine Serang]

In addition to the dastardly 2182 Virus my Laptop has been invaded by a group of Aliens, namely a Mr Mark Chirnside, Mr Rudi Newman, Mr Don Lynch, a Ms Susie Millar who had a lovely soft voice and a Bible Bosun Roberto Pirrone. They spoke at length about a topic they knew nothing about and I would caution shipmates not to buy tickets from these charlatans, especially tickets for a Maiden Voyage.
When I need Tmax he's always dozing on his daybed dreaming about euphemisms when he ought to be preparing for a Tar and Feathering.

[Varley]

My house guest insisted on making me watch it last night. He hopes there is a next episode. I do not.

(I think you should make sure Tmac is OK there is some maniac with owner's braid doing furious biking on the maindeck. Perhaps we should have the cut-outs paint down a cycle lane).

[Tmac1720]

Alas my earlier response the ES has seemingly disappeared up the vent schnorkel, it any event it isn't here so I'll try again. The persons named by ES are indeed known to me, I accept absolutely no responsibility for anything they may do or say apropos the Titanic in any context whatsoever and I say that without rancour but from years of bitter experience verbally fencing with "Titanoracks" (just ask Sir William about the sluice valves )

Thankfully I appear to have missed the broadcast in question, indeed I count myself lucky to have done so and certainly do not wish any further details however I must question why ES felt it appropriate to absent himself from his injun room duties and Mr Varley conspicuous by his absence from the radio sparky thingy he so lovingly guards from all and sundry.

FYI your further delectation I do NOT lie in my daybed ruminating, I have another word for such activity, in any case I am far too occupied studying anatomical depictions of the female form and endeavouring to separate the sticky pages.

[Malcolm G]

Don’t you, just occasionally, check your eyelids for pin holes?

[Varley]

In the salty wayback, pin-holed eyelids were thought to improve a lookout's ability to detect icebergs. All ABs carried a pin-hole certificate in those days and the Titanic class also had a piercers's room where grommets would be fitted in the eye-holes of the duty lookouts before the watch changed.

(I've got a pair of Motorola's rigged up so I can do my watch from the fwd cocktail bar. I would say the boy would look after you but he's still got the aerials lowered as a mark of respect. He says he's family and can't turn-to for another few days yet - I think it's an excuse myself - perhaps the old man will let you use the moonphone, just don't be another that 'forgets' to mark it down for charging).

[billyboy]

Hmmm seems I have a flat tyre, but its only flat at the bottom! Maybe something to do with all the pin hole talk I expect.
Never mind I'll just have to do a bit of jogging today instead,

[Varley]

Not sure I follow. A flat tyre must be for a flat wheel. That's what the Scandihooligans call a ski isn't it?

[Engine Serang]

Marconi Sahib made me pay in the coin of the Realm but that Realm was the Holy Roman Empire. Thank goodness GMDSS put an end to that nonsense. OK a few "Old Chaps" fell by the wayside but the rest had to get their lardy arses into a pair of dungarees and turn-to with the men. Did little for their afternoon bronzy but worked wonders for their self esteem.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

BB,
You are supposed to put that green slime stuff in your bicycle tube NOT DRINK IT, although for all the good it does with punctures you may as well.
YM