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Humour the best of medicine

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  #1601  
Old 5th December 2022, 09:28
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Both correct ES - it depends whether they are stood face to face of back to back.
Nowadays PNP apparently means party and play and refers to ‘recreational’ drugs…

Btw Bob - in the case of my local resident wood pigeons, other products tend to stick
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  #1602  
Old 5th December 2022, 11:09
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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My drugs of choice are Adalat for blood pressure, Bumetanide for water retention and Solpadine as my morning after pill. I defy you to pick a better trio.
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  #1603  
Old 6th December 2022, 09:52
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My pal’s wife came home with four cases of beer, three boxes of wine, two bottles of
whisky and two loaves of bread.

"Are we expecting guests?" he asked.

"No," she replied.

"Then why did you buy so much bread?
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  #1604  
Old 8th December 2022, 18:04
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You never know who is listening ... (it isn't just the boys and girls in the Donut.)
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  #1605  
Old 10th December 2022, 10:02
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When my mate woke up this morning, his wife had him in a head lock.

He said “I think she had a wrestler’s night.”
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  #1606  
Old 10th December 2022, 10:17
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A lorry loaded with ladders has just crashed on the M62, the police are taking steps to clear the road!
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  #1607  
Old 10th December 2022, 10:56
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I need to bring some quality to these jokes ....
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  #1608  
Old 10th December 2022, 12:56
rustytrawler England rustytrawler is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClay View Post
I need to bring some quality to these jokes ....
Dont trouble yourself.....as they would say in ull

Last edited by rustytrawler; 10th December 2022 at 13:04.
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  #1609  
Old 10th December 2022, 13:19
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Indeed, Rusty. There is the old rag trade adage.

"Never mind the quality, feel the wit"
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Last edited by Varley; 10th December 2022 at 19:07.
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  #1610  
Old 10th December 2022, 13:26
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Ihave now changed your name to lord laxi...tiv. hope this moves you up a bit more in the world, maybe king laxi...tiv
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  #1611  
Old 10th December 2022, 19:10
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Laxative? You want more bullshit?
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #1612  
Old 11th December 2022, 09:33
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Keep it coming Varly.....Do you know what the 1964 I.O.M. ferry was called, the one leaving Liverpool, i think it went from the Liver buildings, rgds rustytrawler
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  #1613  
Old 11th December 2022, 12:52
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In 1964 the IoMSP fleet was 6 or 7, serving the then Summer bread and butter tourist trade - all steamers then. Wiki gives a good run down. They did not only run to Liverpool and there were also excursions (while at Colwyn Bay I could use the Llandudno excursion to nip home for half a day).

The end of exchange control marked the end of that money in any real sense of the word which is easily seen in that the native needs are satisfied with the Ben My Chree (all year, Heysham) and in Summer the fastcraft, Manannin. A new Manxman will be delivered in the new year from Hyundai.

For some strange reason we are having to build a terminal for the IOMSPC to replace the floating dock which the side-loaders used to use. We then, presumably, pay again to use it.
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #1614  
Old 11th December 2022, 13:06
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Thank you i will have a look on wiki......What was that Kelly from the I.O.M all about?

Last edited by rustytrawler; 11th December 2022 at 13:39.
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  #1615  
Old 11th December 2022, 22:04
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Out in Dublin city centre on Friday evening with the Memsahib for a bite of grub and a few drinks. Met a couple from the IOM, Union Mills, over for the weekend (me neither) and they were great craic and they have given me faith that IOM is not beyond saving, indeed it is not now compulsory to marry your cousin. Needless to say I learned more in one hour of Guinness and Jameson than I have from 10 years of Lord V's random jottings.
I am considering buying a Ducati.
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  #1616  
Old 12th December 2022, 17:54
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Now that you are fully up to speed on Island life and politics you can answer Rusty's question.

(Don't offer your opinion until you have been off that black muck and the varnish remover for at least 4 hours).
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
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  #1617  
Old 12th December 2022, 21:35
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Guinness I can take or leave but Jameson is a fine drink.
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  #1618  
Old 13th December 2022, 02:31
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I sailed with Neil Jameson. His Dad was Tech Super for Westminster Dredgers in the Mersey. Rumour has it (my lips are sealed) that pure Jameson ran in his bloodstream! Nuff said. I shall now recede to the shadows.............! Those were the days,"Penang, '82.............".
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  #1619  
Old 13th December 2022, 08:36
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Discretion is obviously your middle name, sound fellow Makko.
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  #1620  
Old 13th December 2022, 10:15
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I told this kid in my street to ask his Dad if he wanted my old sofa and chairs.

He told me he wasn't allowed to accept suites from strangers
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  #1621  
Old 15th December 2022, 19:55
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Had a bad day today. I paid a carpenter to build us a bespoke double bed and found out he's done a bunk !!! It's just one thing on top of another.
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  #1622  
Old 16th December 2022, 10:31
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My pal’s neighbours, Tom and Lisa Hall, came round for a pre-Christmas drink. They’re always quite argumentative especially after a lot to drink.

As expected, a fight broke out and to defend himself, my pal grabbed some festive greenery and decked the Halls with boughs of holly.
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Last edited by Ron Stringer; 16th December 2022 at 10:36.
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  #1623  
Old 16th December 2022, 15:17
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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My Aldi cheap Christmas cards have better jokes than the last dozen here. And it pains me to say so.
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  #1624  
Old 16th December 2022, 20:53
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Just curious…….. If ex TV Celeb, Isla St Clair had married Barry White, presumably she’d be Isla White?

And if, when Barry White died, she remarried the lead singer of Roxy Music, would she be Isla White-Ferry?
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  #1625  
Old 16th December 2022, 20:56
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Engine Serang View Post
My Aldi cheap Christmas cards have better jokes than the last dozen here. And it pains me to say so.
You'll just have to learn to accept lower standards now that you're ashore.
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Last edited by Ron Stringer; 17th December 2022 at 10:37.
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