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virtual crazy gang, part II

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  #6176  
Old 30th March 2020, 08:43
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Originally Posted by Tmac1720 View Post
Park Drive, Woodbine and Cadets staple smoking requisite for H&W crew.

Question... how can you tell if a Bosun (insert trade as required) is well hung ?

Answer... You can't get your fingers between the noose and his neck.
I think there is a BWH version of that hoary old joke.
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  #6177  
Old 4th April 2020, 06:12
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getting bored, Must be a port somewhere that will allow us to dock for the duration of this virus. Not that I am anxious to catch it but bunkers are starting to get low and provisions are not looking too good either.
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  #6178  
Old 4th April 2020, 09:24
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Where's your bulldog attitude, sulking in your cabin ist verboten, dismal Jimmies will have their testicles greased and serve them right.

We are playing deck quoits and the admirable Mr V is trying to lay carpet on the poop deck and make a croquet lawn although the green deck paint is slow drying. Tmax is labouring down below making a set of hoops but methinks he has spent too long in the Drawing Office.

I regard morale as high on this ship.
I regard morals as high also due to lack of opportunity.
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  #6179  
Old 4th April 2020, 09:34
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1.5 metres is so near yet soooofar
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  #6180  
Old 4th April 2020, 11:11
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Sir William, don't worry, we are getting replenished in these difficult times by the same fashion that we get our Alcoholic stores. I suggest that, in the old tradition of Privateers, we locate a quiet beach somewhere where we can careen the ship, I am sure the old dear would love to have her bottom scraped, and we can straighten out the lumps where we had that tricky game of ship football.

A couple of weeks in a lean-to on the sandy beach, a little physical work and some careful seamanship, a little social to and fro with some local ladies, and we will be better able to assess the situation.
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  #6181  
Old 4th April 2020, 13:03
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Not sure we need any more alcoholics. Surely we've well flattened that particular curve. Any joining now must surely be amateurs.

The lawn's just about there but mallets (bats) are likely difficult to get. Plenty of balls about but we really need phucks. Tmac's hoops are just fine.
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  #6182  
Old 8th April 2020, 04:00
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Alkiefrolics in abundance Mr Varley. Good we still have a stock of Dom's white gloss,Red boot topping,and green deck paint left.
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  #6183  
Old 8th April 2020, 12:36
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Tmac's hoops are just fine.
Glad to be of service young man, just make sure you strike the balls dead centre otherwise unexpected deviation may be experienced along with watery eyes

Apparently I went ashore the other day and inadvertently found myself incarcerated in the local Gulag. Boredom is quite a problem however I have managed to complete five books in a week which considering the amount of colouring in required is quite and achievement even if I say it myself. Hopefully I will soon be released from my unforeseen incarceration, the Borscht soup is playing havoc with my digestion however I can now pass wind to the tune of "we'll meet again" in C minor.

I will complete my injuneering log entry just as soon as I can obtain another piece of toilet roll and a suitable writing implement. The present stylus is rather soft and only writes in a most unpleasant manner.

Dosvedanya comrades
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  #6184  
Old 9th April 2020, 11:15
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Is this a disease of the lungs or a disease of the brain?
Mr Varley, be a good chap and cut along to WH Smith's and get Tmax another box of Caran D'Ache Luminance to colour in his memoirs.
Belay that last order, BillyBoy recommends a small box of Crayola.
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  #6185  
Old 9th April 2020, 12:38
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Crayola sounds less expensive. I will get on to Amazon as colouring materials do not count as essentials. I would have thought his memoirs could do with just a dash of whitewash to avoid the obscene publications act.
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #6186  
Old 9th April 2020, 14:45
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Capital idea. Whitewash is something we in Northern Ireland are quite familiar and comfortable with. A substance close to our hearts and one Tmax has used liberally on newbuilds and not only in the FW Tanks.
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  #6187  
Old 10th April 2020, 02:31
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white gloss for me please...Oh, errrrrm wash eh....cancel that then.
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  #6188  
Old 10th April 2020, 15:06
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. A substance close to our hearts and one Tmax has used liberally on newbuilds and not only in the FW Tanks.
Limewashing in the tanks brings back a rather painful and embarrassing memory. On conducting a tank inspection one day I chanced to slip off the ladder and slid base over apex down into the tank. Thankfully not a deep tank but a fresh water one. I emerged from the tank absolutely soaked in wash and had to trundle my way across the deck, off the ship and back up the very long Queens Road dripping white droplets all the way accompanied by much raucous laughter from the assembled multitudes

So thanks ES, I owe you one for that
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I try so hard to make things idiot proof but they keep making better idiots
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  #6189  
Old 11th April 2020, 07:57
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So thanks ES, I owe you one for that
Just try to be nicer to me.
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  #6190  
Old 11th April 2020, 13:29
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whats that?...Tmac dripping white stuff!...well been a long time since he had a run ashore poor chp. always busy below see.
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  #6191  
Old 14th April 2020, 13:39
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BB always seeing the good in people.
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  #6192  
Old 15th April 2020, 09:21
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Oh yes I have a kind heart indeed. care for a wee dram while you are up here?
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  #6193  
Old 15th April 2020, 11:28
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Aye, a dram will make you see the best in the Devil himself.

(not that E-S is any sort of Devil, not when one is off-watch anyway).
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
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It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #6194  
Old 15th April 2020, 12:03
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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There is The Devil who is a right bastard and The Divil who is full of crack and a tip-top drinking companion.
I know which one I would choose.
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  #6195  
Old 15th April 2020, 12:51
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There is The Devil who is a right bastard and The Divil who is full of crack and a tip-top drinking companion.
I know which one I would choose.
Probably the horney one
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Oul scabby knuckles

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Anything God didn't create was made by engineers.

I try so hard to make things idiot proof but they keep making better idiots
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  #6196  
Old 16th April 2020, 15:46
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The one with the crack.
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  #6197  
Old 16th April 2020, 17:16
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My heart, mind and body are pure. It's blooming awful.
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  #6198  
Old 17th April 2020, 13:06
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Yes, being the son of a vicar does have its drawbacks Farmer John.
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  #6199  
Old 17th April 2020, 16:02
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Marianne Faithful was the son of a vicar and she enjoyed herself.
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  #6200  
Old 17th April 2020, 17:01
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Obviously not with either of them!
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David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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