virtual crazy gang, part II

Tmac1720 · #**2426** 8th March 2018, 18:23

Unfortunately I am unused to receiving polite requests the usual format is several expletives followed by even more direct instructions regarding injun moves, revs etc followed by earnest enquiries as to my intelligence and the marital status of my parents

Dartskipper my lad, that mysterious item of injuneering equipment is my latest plaything to entertain the crew via the tannoy system at 4 bells.... nothing like the skirl of the pipes o' a morn, however I must confess the sound I obtain from them is nothing like it

Tom Alexander · #**2427** 9th March 2018, 06:40

Found a plaque today which said "To err is Human" ---- "To blame someone else is management material"

McCloggie · #**2428** 9th March 2018, 08:34

Mr. McCloggie -- strike sail, please.

Well I mustered the cut-outs and armed with suitable striking implements we beat the sh1t out of all the sails as requested.

It did not seem to have any real effect though so I lowered everything anyway as above the sounds of a cat being strangled coming over the PA system and the shouting of DS from the bridge we noticed that the engines had been started and presumed the sails were no longer needed.

McC

Farmer John · #**2429** 9th March 2018, 09:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by McCloggie

[I]It did not seem to have any real effect though so I lowered everything anyway as above the sounds of a cat being strangled coming over the PA system and the shouting of DS from the bridge we noticed that the engines had been started and presumed the sails were no longer needed.

McC

A man with initiative, intelligence and observation. Are you really right for this job?

billyboy · #**2430** 9th March 2018, 09:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dartskipper

I passed your polite request on to Tmac, Tom, but I don't think he heard me. It wasn't the usual ambient noise of machinery, but the strange wailing sound coming out of a weird looking piece of equipment he was wrestling with.

blow jobs on Octopi not supposed to happen aboard here.

billyboy · #**2431** 9th March 2018, 09:59

(home alone for two days while wifie away. using her lap top but dont tell her...lol)

what the........ sounds like someones strangling a cat. have to nip along and see whats happening.
just looked over the rail and we are in the same place. I put a chalk mark on the hull.

Dartskipper · #**2432** 9th March 2018, 10:36

I think I know what's wrong. I'm just going below to release the hand brake.

Chief always pulls it on hard to stop the propellers windmilling when we hoist sail. I expect Sqweek couldn't hear the command to let it go with all those strange noises coming from the pit.

Red-17 · #**2433** 9th March 2018, 11:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Unfortunately I am unused to receiving polite requests the usual format is several expletives followed by even more direct instructions regarding injun moves, revs etc followed by earnest enquiries as to my intelligence and the marital status of my parents

Dartskipper my lad, that mysterious item of injuneering equipment is my latest plaything to entertain the crew via the tannoy system at 4 bells.... nothing like the skirl of the pipes o' a morn, however I must confess the sound I obtain from them is nothing like it

You need to get out more Tmac, I'm happy to help you with that. Politeness works both ways.

Just keep practicing Tmac, it will all come together , eventually. You are a brave man.

Tmac1720 · #**2434** 9th March 2018, 19:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red-17

You need to get out more Tmac, I'm happy to help you with that. Politeness works both ways.

Thank you Red for the kind offer, usually I am only allowed out of the pit under cover of darkness.

I am always polite to a lady such as yourself, or rather I hope I am, one does ones best

Farmer John · #**2435** 9th March 2018, 21:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

usually I am only allowed out of the pit under cover of darkness.

Tmac, you know if you wear a disguise you can come out on deck whenever you want, anyway it was you who said it was all about being hunted by the FBI, the KGB and three women wanting to serve you with paternity papers. Also, you frightened an Albert Ross so much last time it converted to a flying fish and has followed us ever since.

Tom Alexander · #**2436** 10th March 2018, 07:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by billyboy

blow jobs on Octopi not supposed to happen aboard here.

That reminds me of the man that took an octopus into a bar and bet the crowd his octopus could play any instrument in the world, which it did, until bagpipes were produced. The octopus wrestled with them but no sound was produced. The crowd demanded their money, but the owner of the octopus stood firm, and said as soon as my octopus gets its pyjamas off, they're going to make love. (Returning to my cabin)

Tom Alexander · #**2437** 10th March 2018, 07:38

New York in the morning -- guess we'll have to take on the pilot here -- the inhabitants here get real finicky about things like that. Just tell him Pier 88 on the Hudson. That should get his respect, if nothing else.

Tom Alexander · #**2438** 10th March 2018, 07:44

New York in the morning -- guess we'll have to take on the pilot here -- the inhabitants here get real finicky about things like that. Just tell him (or perhaps her) Pier 88 on the Hudson. That should get their respect, if nothing else.

billyboy · #**2439** 10th March 2018, 09:22

pier 88 eh...get a cab into Greenwich village from there. wonder if them girlie bars are still there.

Dartskipper · #**2440** 10th March 2018, 21:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

New York in the morning -- guess we'll have to take on the pilot here -- the inhabitants here get real finicky about things like that. Just tell him (or perhaps her) Pier 88 on the Hudson. That should get their respect, if nothing else.

I thought there was an echo in the empty wheelhouse at first.

I'm looking forward to New York. I've never been there by sea, but my Dad did many years ago. Caused quite a lot of excitement involving dragging the anchor, a tug with bent safety rails around her upper deck, a damaged boarding ladder, a collision with a moored US Naval vessel, the Harbour Authority, the British Consulate, and letters between the injured parties and the Eagle Oil Company offices in London. Dad's ship was waiting to berth in Perth Amboy, apparently, across the river.

I hope they have forgotten about it!

Tom Alexander · #**2441** 11th March 2018, 06:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by billyboy

pier 88 eh...get a cab into Greenwich village from there. wonder if them girlie bars are still there.

That's for them to know, and us to find out, Eh?

Tom Alexander · #**2442** 11th March 2018, 06:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dartskipper

I thought there was an echo in the empty wheelhouse at first.

No - just an itchy trigger finger on the mouse button. And probably a brain phart along the way as well !! Guess I'll have to dampen my reflexes with some Four Bells.

Farmer John · #**2443** 11th March 2018, 17:21

My youngest daughter spent some time in Greenwich Village and even worked the bar at CBGB's for a bit. She remembers how everyone laughed when she spotted her first Cockroach.

I hope we have Cockroach zappers rigged, don't want ours mixing with theirs, ours are bred and trained.

By the way, empty wheelhouse be damned there were four of us up there, asleep in the corners keeping watch.

Tom Alexander · #**2444** 12th March 2018, 06:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by Farmer John

I hope we have Cockroach zappers rigged, don't want ours mixing with theirs, ours are bred and trained..

Talking about cockcroach zappers, perhaps, Mr. McCloggie you can ensure that the cutouts rig rat guards on all our mooring lines?

McCloggie · #**2445** 12th March 2018, 09:21

We have fitted the normal Rat Guards on all mooring lines as per normal, and have connected them up to the ships electrical system (220V?) so anything that touches a metal plate will be well and truly "zapped".

These should deter any rodents. The Engine Room staff rodents of course will use the gangway and have an appropriate "going ashore" pass so the Chief Engineer has no need to worry!

I am however also worried about the possible incursion of anyone from a well known "rat-pack" - no matter how well they might sing!

We do however need to ensure that the buyers for our burlap cargo are not caught out and therefore need suitable passwords!

We have therefore issued Tasers to all gangway sentries to check anyone who goes on musically about New York, New York or Chicago.

All crew returning on board should therefore remember not to try and sing popular musical numbers until they are in the safety of the PAX lounge.

Right! Off ashore myself!

McC

billyboy · #**2446** 12th March 2018, 10:24

bit different around here from the days of all the kin liners eh.

what with the bloke asking questions at the bottom of the gangway. asking about communism or some darned thing. be demanding a short arm parade next cheeky git.

Dartskipper · #**2447** 12th March 2018, 11:18

Just don't hang out on the West Side, or the East Side either.

Dartskipper · #**2448** 12th March 2018, 11:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by McCloggie;

We have therefore issued Tasers to all gangway sentries to check anyone who goes on musically about New York, New York or Chicago.

All crew returning on board should therefore remember not to try and sing popular musical numbers until they are in the safety of the PAX lounge.

Right! Off ashore myself!

McC

Can we issue a special pass to Miss Keys please? The old Joanna in the PAX could do with some exercise.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PHOeXIPNZE

McCloggie · #**2449** 12th March 2018, 12:54

Oh I reckon Miss Keys deserves a pass!

McC

Tom Alexander · #**2450** 13th March 2018, 06:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by McCloggie

Oh I reckon Miss Keys deserves a pass!

McC

I heartedly endorse that -- (better make sure that our grand "joanna" is at it's peak perfection in tuning. (I think Varley has the electronic instruments to ensure that the instrument is in perfect pitch.)