virtual crazy gang, part II

[Farmer John]

Bordeaux? Is that where they make Bordellos?

[YM-Mundrabilla]

'Virgin territory as one might say.'

I wondered where they had all gone?

[Varley]

Shrinking mode. That's what happens when one is trying strip the Port tanks before someone fills them with French Biddy. Related in style to Madeira perhaps but its effects can mimic those of gin.

[billyboy]

Virgin eh...Put me down for one of them then ha ha

[Varley]

Is there any point if in shrinking mode?

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by billyboy

Virgin eh...Put me down for one of them then ha ha

A bright young gentleman has asked for the keys for your suite. Life has many turnings.

[Varley]

Well. Is it to be one surprised or the other disappointed?

[Engine Serang]

Right chaps, get a grip. We're Seamen not Stewards. Nought queer here.
They may be a bit slow with a tray of drink for a few days, feelings hurt etc. etc. But they'll get over it.
Onwards and upwards and bollix to Brexit.

[billyboy]

hello young man. what are you doing in my suite?
Out!!....you will find the radio officers cabin further down the alleyway on your right. he may be able to help you with directions or whatever.

[Farmer John]

Who was that who muttered "Big Girl's Blouse"? We'll have you sweeping out the Chamber of Idiots.

[Varley]

I don't feel like whatever just at the moment, I did warn about shrinkage. I sent him off to stroke the Old Man's Tiger.

(What's the betting Mr' Speaker is soon to rule "Big Girl's Blouse" as unparliamentary language).

[Tmac1720]

Mr Squeaker AKA Gale because he's wet and windy. Jumped up little shitehawk, about as much use as a glass spanner.

[Dartskipper]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Mr Squeaker AKA Gale because he's wet and windy. Jumped up little shitehawk, about as much use as a glass spanner.

That's unkind Chief. I've heard that he speaks very highly of himself.

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Dartskipper

That's unkind Chief. I've heard that he speaks very highly of himself.

He wouldn't last more than five minutes in Harland and Bluff, somebody would have stuck their fist in the pious little shit. Apparently his breath is quite putrid because of all the shite coming out of his mouth.

[Engine Serang]

'Bercow was elected Speaker in2009, succeeding Michael martin, Gorbals Mick as he was affectionately known. A man who would have held his own at H&W.
Bercow was elected unopposed after the two subsequent General elections.
Many people wouldn't have lasted five minutes in H&W and perhaps Mr Speaker is in this category but as of now we are unsure of the workforces attitude to those of the Jewish persuasion.

If things go arse over tit in the Speakers Chair I'm sure the very nice Lord Alderdice could drop in from the House of Peers, sound chap.

[billyboy]

Hmmmmm raised voices in the distance. Steward reports they are on the subject of Bollokticks??
Might just nip along and see what the fuss is all about but must finish this pile of paperwork first.

[Varley]

The Hibernian forum had a Mr. Speaker? As we mainly saw the family Paisley debating we imagined you had a Mr. Shouter instead.

Perhaps I shouldn't wear my yarmulke in the smokeroom, Wouldn't want to be blamed for souring the milk.

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Many people wouldn't have lasted five minutes in H&W and perhaps Mr Speaker is in this category but as of now we are unsure of the workforces attitude to those of the Jewish persuasion.

If things go arse over tit in the Speakers Chair I'm sure the very nice Lord Alderdice could drop in from the House of Peers, sound chap.

Lord Alderdice ??? I fear young man you are confusing him with Mr Daniel O'Donnell, however at least I am reliably informed the latter gentleman can sing

As regards the workforce in H&W and their alleged attitude to persons of the Jewish persuasion, I must take issue with you on that point. During my time in H&W (N.B. I NEVER said I worked there) the only semitic question asked was where you a Protestant Jew or a Catholic Jew...

Mazel Tov, now get back under the plates where you belong the lub oil filters need changing

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Varley

The Hibernian forum had a Mr. Speaker? As we mainly saw the family Paisley debating we imagined you had a Mr. Shouter instead.

Perhaps I shouldn't wear my yarmulke in the smokeroom, Wouldn't want to be blamed for souring the milk.

Idiot that I am I thought Yarmulke was some sort of expensive pro-biotic drink, a middle class version of Actimel.

The Memsahib educated me but couldn't explain the Pope's wee cap, is he a Jew? We thought he was a catholic and in great swathes of Belfast he is an Anti-Christ (whatever that is). We live in strange times. Quare times.

[Dartskipper]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Idiot that I am I thought Yarmulke was some sort of expensive pro-biotic drink, a middle class version of Actimel.

The Memsahib educated me but couldn't explain the Pope's wee cap, is he a Jew? We thought he was a catholic and in great swathes of Belfast he is an Anti-Christ (whatever that is). We live in strange times. Quare times.

I thought his cap was to stop his bald patch getting damp when it rained.

[Tom Alexander]

I believe that most Jewish men wear a black kippah (dome), where as the Pope, being a virgin? wears a white one. Kind of like a bride at a wedding. Me ??? I had mine chromium plated which is why, perhaps, my kids call me "chrome dome"

[Varley]

A concave alopecial upland? Surely a more matt finish would be more practical. We can't have you wandering about on deck like that. Other vessels will think we are heliographing with a demented operator and at night we might show confusing lights.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Varley

A concave alopecial upland? Surely a more matt finish would be more practical. We can't have you wandering about on deck like that. Other vessels will think we are heliographing with a demented operator and at night we might show confusing lights.

Concave?? David ???? No wonder I suffer from depression. I always thought my dome was convex. !! (I knew Matt was finished -- he was the lad with no arms and legs laying in front of the door.)

[billyboy]

man at the bus stop with no arm and legs, conductor said "how you getting on?"

[Varley]

You're right Tom. I meant convex. However concave might enable you to catch more solar power for your heliographical performances.

(Do the Finish generally lack limbs? I had not noticed)