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virtual crazy gang, part II

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  #4026  
Old 8th November 2018, 15:55
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Excuse moi !!! but my nuts are certainly NOT greasy or indeed covered in any other nefarious substance. Admittedly my nuts remain unwashed because even as an injuneer of my considerable ability I have yet to find a method of extracting them from the bag in which they reside. The bag is frequently laundered but alas the nuts within remain inaccessible.

Point of information the Golden Shifter is exclusively for use on the Golden Rivet however any necessary chastisement or correcting of the error of the ways is carried out by my 7llb pound lump hammer liberally applied to the requisite areas.
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  #4027  
Old 8th November 2018, 15:56
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Originally Posted by Tom Alexander View Post

Also be warned that Tmac is not just the boss of the injun room, but the King of all he surveys down there. In his injuneering eminence he has the rights to the freedom of the Funnel Suite, and wields the Golden Shifter with impunity.
What are you after? or what have you broken? you silver tongued devil
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Oul scabby knuckles

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Anything God didn't create was made by engineers.

I try so hard to make things idiot proof but they keep making better idiots
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  #4028  
Old 9th November 2018, 08:46
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It cum away in his hand, Chief.
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  #4029  
Old 9th November 2018, 08:54
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It cum away in his hand, Chief.
Priming the pump again, Eh? (The correct term is "It come orf in my 'and, sur!")
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  #4030  
Old 9th November 2018, 11:44
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Surely "It wisnae done on my watch, Chief, it's how the 4 to 8 left it"
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
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  #4031  
Old 9th November 2018, 11:47
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That Oxo cube is some vintage, the chart says "First surveyed by HMS Sparrow in eighteen oh burnhole"
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David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #4032  
Old 10th November 2018, 14:24
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It cum away in his hand, Chief.
Doing Willie and the Hand Jive again?
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  #4033  
Old 10th November 2018, 15:01
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Ah, eighteen oh burnhole, a very good year for soup.
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  #4034  
Old 10th November 2018, 23:03
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But Chief!...I was only cleaning it and it went off....Honest!
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  #4035  
Old 10th November 2018, 23:26
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I didn't do it - it just happened!
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  #4036  
Old 13th November 2018, 07:17
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Thought we should head down the coast a bit to Lima, Peru. Here's an excerpt from one of their tourist sites which the crew might find enticing:

However, let's make some clarifications, since the label "night club" may be a bit confusing here in Lima; actually, most places that define themselves as "night clubs" in Lima are in fact bordellos in disguise. We are aware of the fact that adult fun businesses have a great demand nowadays, but to avoid confusions or misunderstandings they are not to be listed here, but under "burlesque" or other similar category.

All those not interested take one step back.
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  #4037  
Old 13th November 2018, 08:50
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Tom, the Port Chaplin is not best pleased with your Post. He says you are exploiting a vulnerable ethnic minority. A touch of humble pie could be in order.
Our esteemed shipmate Tmac believes, If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried, so your best tactic is to blame Tmac for hacking into your account. Result.
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  #4038  
Old 13th November 2018, 11:10
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I thought a Port Chaplain (or as our American shipmates would have it, the left footer) would be more interested in bells and smells rather than belles and smalls.

It is the Starboard Skypilot that you have to watch out for. He's on the lookout to grill any wee free soul aboard if they try 'Burlesque' on Sundays. Pie instead of tart, however, is acceptable providing not cooked on the sabbath.
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David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan

Last edited by Varley; 13th November 2018 at 11:13.
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  #4039  
Old 13th November 2018, 11:24
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Ah, the benefit of a Glasgow education.
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  #4040  
Old 13th November 2018, 11:41
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Bordelo?..that a surf board you pedal?
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  #4041  
Old 13th November 2018, 12:16
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Come, come, Sir W, you must have heard of a brothel that does half board, surely!
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David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #4042  
Old 14th November 2018, 07:07
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So, do I gather that when we get to Lima, all you lot are going to visit the museums, art galleries and cathedrals?? Right.
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  #4043  
Old 14th November 2018, 08:11
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Lima has the reputation of having a very Popeish population, I'm hiding in the bilges until departure. Me and the two little feckers have laid in a stock of Snickers and nail varnish remover. Did the locals invent potatoes or was it tobacco and the females all have yellow and brown teeth. What a shower.
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  #4044  
Old 14th November 2018, 10:37
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What is that awful pong from the ER vent? Smells like someone's set fire to a potato.
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David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #4045  
Old 14th November 2018, 13:04
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Originally Posted by Varley View Post
What is that awful pong from the ER vent? Smells like someone's set fire to a potato.
AS Corporal Jones is wont to say "don't panic" the aroma is simply Paddington Bear brewing a batch of his special marmalade.
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Oul scabby knuckles

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Anything God didn't create was made by engineers.

I try so hard to make things idiot proof but they keep making better idiots
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  #4046  
Old 14th November 2018, 17:14
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He should be careful It may turn his little yellow teeth brown.
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David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #4047  
Old 14th November 2018, 17:54
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is online now
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He's not from Lima, he's from Darkest Peru, which I believe is near the Port of Iquitos. He could be in town to meet the Clarksons and if BB and FJ meet him in a Speakeasy they shouldn't bring him on board because pip, Squeak and Wilfred will tear him apart and eat his marmalade pieces. A right bloody mess in the engineroom, that Silver Shred gets everywhere and is uber-sticky.
And Od Time Irish marmalade is every bit as effective as Locktite, Araldite or Pritt Stick.

Last edited by Engine Serang; 14th November 2018 at 17:59. Reason: None.
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  #4048  
Old 14th November 2018, 18:41
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I would hope that our propulsion system of undeclared and unimaginable horse power (the Operator's Manual only states that "Horsepower is Adequate...") is held together with something more tenacious and durable than Pritt sticks.
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  #4049  
Old 14th November 2018, 18:41
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I am sorry to say I mugged a rather wet little chap who approached me in one of the dark alleys with a reprehensible suggestion (I refused to stick my hand in his sticky pot) and I now have a very smart duffel coat, slightly tight round the chest, not badly worn, ideal for bridge work in colder climates.
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Last edited by Farmer John; 14th November 2018 at 18:53.
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  #4050  
Old 14th November 2018, 19:28
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Odd time Irish Marmalade? Odd because its made of potatoes I suppose. (I have an expert in this topic at my table tonight I will get the SP then - depending on how well my cooking of the universal Irish vegetable turns out).
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David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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