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#1426
4th September 2022, 20:18
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A man was walking along a road when he hears a strange voice saying “thirteen” over and over again.
The voice seems to be coming from behind a tall fence. The man sees a crack in the fence and puts his head down and looks through the crack. As he does so someone pokes a stick in his eye and he reels back. The strange voice then shouts “fourteen!”
__________________
The Mad Landsman 
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#1428
6th September 2022, 07:46
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The great god leapt on his horse
Rode bareback through the sky As he rode he shouted out his name I'm Thor, I'm Thor, I'm Thor Thould have uthed a thaddle, thilly
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"I say we take off, nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure." Corporal Hicks (Actually Ripley said it first.) Last edited by BobClay; 7th September 2022 at 15:58.
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#1429
6th September 2022, 09:08
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You'll get hammered for that one, Bob.
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David V Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right It is the duty of the wealthy man To give employment to the artisan
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#1432
6th September 2022, 13:54
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Keeping up with Bob and the Kenneth Williams type jokes:
KW as Caesar - "Infamy, INFAMY! They've all got it in for me!". Murdered, Brutus casting the first blow...... Rgds. Dave
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#1433
7th September 2022, 09:33
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We were totally baffled by a recent pub quiz question about old films: Question One, ‘Who played the lead in Lassie’?
__________________
Ron __________________________________________________ _________________________ Never regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many. Don't worry about old age - it doesn't last.
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#1434
7th September 2022, 09:36
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Lassie is a dog food, a tin of meaty chunks in a nutritious gravy.
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#1435
7th September 2022, 11:02
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As I thought, you don't have the leash idea.
__________________
Ron __________________________________________________ _________________________ Never regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many. Don't worry about old age - it doesn't last.
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#1436
7th September 2022, 12:06
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For Sale - Hot prospect.
__________________
Ron __________________________________________________ _________________________ Never regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many. Don't worry about old age - it doesn't last.
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#1437
7th September 2022, 14:20
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I've eaten worse in the Star of Bengal. And I had a touch of nannoreah.
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#1439
7th September 2022, 16:21
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I'll stick with Chapatis and Parathas; Chapatis fresh from the Bhandary, Parathas wrapped round Jalfrezi!
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#1440
7th September 2022, 19:29
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Hope no-one sleepwalks.
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#1441
7th September 2022, 19:49
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The sight of the Queens flight yesterday flitting between Northolt and Aberdeen reminded me of a mates wife who was in the RAF and worked in Chequers and often on the Queens flight where she was the RAF equivalent of the cabin attendant.
During her initial training at RAF Lynham(?)....all the ranks of the WAAFS were on the womens section of the camp with it own parade ground.....the men were in the same camp but understandably seperated. One morning in early training.....her flight of WAAFS were making huge mess of the marching drill After dozens of attempts at getting the marching right and failing......the WAAF drill instructor called a halt and said..... "Now listen up....there is a mile and a half of c**k in Lynham.....and if you lot dont improve your not going to see an inch of it" 
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#1443
8th September 2022, 11:05
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It's behind you.
Oh no it isn't.
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#1444
8th September 2022, 11:11
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Quote:
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#1445
8th September 2022, 13:53
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Speaking as an R/O.....
I didn't know there was a 06.00
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#1446
8th September 2022, 18:17
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Did you never go trans-Atlantic beyond 30W?
__________________
Ron __________________________________________________ _________________________ Never regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many. Don't worry about old age - it doesn't last.
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#1447
8th September 2022, 18:18
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Rhythmic raptor.
__________________
Ron __________________________________________________ _________________________ Never regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many. Don't worry about old age - it doesn't last.
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#1448
8th September 2022, 18:22
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A lady I know of some capacity often remarks that her days have only one 8 o'clock.
__________________
David V Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right It is the duty of the wealthy man To give employment to the artisan
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#1449
8th September 2022, 18:47
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Did you never go trans-Atlantic beyond 30W?
When you say "trans"......are you being suggestive? If so.....i may go well beyond!!!
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#1450
13th September 2022, 07:21
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A new captain has been appointed to the Enterprise .... those Romulans are in deep sh1t now ....
__________________
"I say we take off, nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure." Corporal Hicks (Actually Ripley said it first.)
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