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virtual crazy gang, part II

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  #5151  
Old 14th June 2019, 22:57
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we got FWD FJ. (four whirly drive)
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  #5152  
Old 15th June 2019, 06:32
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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The only weight carried aboard this fine vessel is around the Navigators midriff. We in the whirly-whirly department earn our crust by the sweat of our brow and are as thin and fit as a butchers greyhound.

As T says, Billy Bunter never pulled a nurse.
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  #5153  
Old 15th June 2019, 10:13
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Originally Posted by Engine Serang View Post
Lord Varley?
What? wot-wot (I hope this is the downstairs telephone). Shouldn't you be polishing something?
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
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  #5154  
Old 15th June 2019, 11:55
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What? wot-wot (I hope this is the downstairs telephone). Shouldn't you be polishing something?
All injuneers knobs are highly polished at ALL times and in fully prime operational condition.
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  #5155  
Old 15th June 2019, 11:58
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Originally Posted by Engine Serang View Post
Lord Varley?
I think the word you may have been intending was varlet
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  #5156  
Old 15th June 2019, 12:52
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Originally Posted by Tmac1720 View Post
I think the word you may have been intending was varlet
I prefer the first handle however this is the one actually attached. So:

Have at you! - damned denizens of the dark and polishers of pig iron.

(See you in the forward cocktail lounge when you knock off?)
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #5157  
Old 15th June 2019, 16:27
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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It's not often you buy, so we will accept your kind invitation.
We really are as thin and fit as a butchers dog so Tab-Nabs won't be sufficient. T is very fond of a fork-supper, beef curry or chicken a la king generally pleases. The carpet can be a bit of a disaster area in the morning but the Piss-Pot-Jerkers always have it clean and sweet smelling for Smoko.

I feel a bit of a thirst coming on.

Last edited by Engine Serang; 15th June 2019 at 16:28. Reason: Thirst.
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  #5158  
Old 15th June 2019, 17:02
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I'll have you know Pa taught me always to stand my round (even when it was from the pocket money he supplied). If you have not caught me in the chair then it was probably because you were stuffing your faces. Fork supper? You'll need a better excuse than dinner medals to avoid eating in the saloon, in rig of the day, properly laundered.
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #5159  
Old 15th June 2019, 17:13
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Can I have the Ulster Fry instead?
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Oul scabby knuckles

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Anything God didn't create was made by engineers.

I try so hard to make things idiot proof but they keep making better idiots
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  #5160  
Old 15th June 2019, 19:15
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What you eat is between and the chief plastico's neatly tryped menu de jour. How you eat it is down to Sir W and your fellow orifices. Gum boots and birthday suits are strictly for the OSSP (Olympic sized sudgee pail) NOT for the saloon or smokeroom.

(You don't think the arseh...… Port state control will fine us for having a smokeroom do you. Prepare to dock their case and cartons).
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #5161  
Old 16th June 2019, 06:58
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Don't start me on Port State Control. I could write a book, and probably will.
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  #5162  
Old 16th June 2019, 09:00
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Have a word with Mr Varley. He likes Port and likes to control the state of it.
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  #5163  
Old 16th June 2019, 09:32
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Well, continuously monitor its state anyway.
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #5164  
Old 16th June 2019, 10:05
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Careful sampling and comparison must be done.
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  #5165  
Old 16th June 2019, 10:26
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tmac1720 View Post
Can I have the Ulster Fry instead?
I sympathise with you T, but NO you can't.

A more unedifying spectacle than a McCooey trying to manage Guinness, fried egg, black pudding and fried soda at a Cock&Arse would be hard to imagine. FJ and V would be mortified, V tries to maintain Denholms standards in the smokeroom. Red Sea Rig and all that but, alas he just don't have the savvy fair to carry it off. Sad really but living in a social backwater doesn't help. IOM twinned with the Bayou's off Louisiana in that respect, but yet to mess with cousins.
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  #5166  
Old 17th June 2019, 00:21
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I have the savory flare alright. I just don't have the socks.
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #5167  
Old 18th June 2019, 15:46
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Tmac is sitting behind the STP with a furrow of concentration on his brow and in his lap my copy of Debrett's New Guide to Etiquette & Modern Manners. He believes Old Manners have been superseded by mobile phones and loose morals. Red 17 thinks that deep down there's a touch of the Kirk about him. It's quite deep.
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  #5168  
Old 18th June 2019, 16:13
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Who the feck is this Kirk matelot?... and what is he doing in my injun room?.. I am concentrating on this book ES trying to work out who would buy a book with no pictures of nubile ladies in it.

It's all well and good this manners malarkey, I usually find a swift kick in the nuts does just as well to get your point across.
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Oul scabby knuckles

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Anything God didn't create was made by engineers.

I try so hard to make things idiot proof but they keep making better idiots
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  #5169  
Old 18th June 2019, 16:23
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Oh I say Tmac who kicked you in the nuts? Very unsporting.

Just eased the course a little further Westwards, we are doing well.
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  #5170  
Old 18th June 2019, 16:49
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Oh I say Tmac who kicked you in the nuts? Very unsporting.
The last person to attempt such an act had to undergo surgery to extract my flogging spanner from his arras. Poor lad spent weeks in a fruitless search for his scrotum which is currently nailed to the pump room bulkhead.
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Oul scabby knuckles

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Anything God didn't create was made by engineers.

I try so hard to make things idiot proof but they keep making better idiots
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  #5171  
Old 18th June 2019, 17:51
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Originally Posted by Tmac1720 View Post
fruitless search for his scrotum which is currently nailed to the pump room bulkhead.
Is this where you get your uncannily accurate weather forecasts from? Degree of wrinkling and so on would work I imagine.
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  #5172  
Old 18th June 2019, 18:38
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Originally Posted by Tmac1720 View Post
It's all well and good this manners malarkey, I usually find a swift kick in the nuts does just as well to get your point across.
It does indeed but the Waiter generally drops the tray of drink, not a Win-Win situation.

Far better to drink the drink then later on, with your uniform gloves, slap him across the cheeks. Not them ones, you tit. Such behaviour makes him feel a total asre and he then takes your point on board.
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  #5173  
Old 19th June 2019, 00:53
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Oh I say Tmac who kicked you in the nuts? Very unsporting.

Just eased the course a little further Westwards, we are doing well.
Course change to ensure that we don't fall off the edge (of the chart, of course) or is it to lengthen our voyage with the nuns some of whose habits are actually quite delightful.
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  #5174  
Old 19th June 2019, 07:35
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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YM you disappoint me with your smutty comments. Wash your mouth out with soap and water.
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  #5175  
Old 19th June 2019, 10:20
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Plumbers should know of that whereof they post (or have at least a briefs acquaintance bar that left by the Maytag).
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David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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